Scopophobia (Scoptophobia)

[Progster]

When did you figure out that preparing yourself made a difference? It's a marked difference from impossible to manageable and very encouraging.

I'm not sure when this started, but I think that when I was a teenager I first became aware of the need for social correctness - before that, I just said whatever came to my head, and that got me into trouble sometimes. Getting into trouble and not understanding why, not being able to predict reactions causes huge anxiety. As a small child, you can get away with it to some extent, but as a teenager it really stood out, and I had to adapt. I had to work out what might be socially acceptable and what wasn't, and I developed scripts and thought out and planned what I wanted to say before the interaction.

 

[rainfall]

I'm not sure when this started, but I think that when I was a teenager I first became aware of the need for social correctness - before that, I just said whatever came to my head, and that got me into trouble sometimes. Getting into trouble and not understanding why, not being able to predict reactions causes huge anxiety.

I can imagine how you felt. That must've been really hard. Not knowing the reasons negative things are happening is very discouraging.

I had the same issue with getting in trouble for saying what I thought. I guess I was lucky enough that it didn't cause me anxiety. I was just kind of known for being blunt but because of my anxiety they also thought I was shy and quiet. I was clueless since no one but my mom really corrected me, just gave me looks. I was made fun of for other things instead.

As a small child, you can get away with it to some extent, but as a teenager it really stood out, and I had to adapt. I had to work out what might be socially acceptable and what wasn't, and I developed scripts and thought out and planned what I wanted to say before the interaction.

I agree, children are even thought of as cute for saying things but a few more years and you start getting admonished for it. Confusing to a kid for the sudden rule change.

Did you observe your peers discreetly to gain some understanding? I always liked observing people go about their lives (not creepily or staring, haha) but never thought about applying social interactions to myself.

My highschool was huge and my home life had gotten worse so at the time it would've made more of a difference I didn't have anyone to talk to. It wasn't until I was in my early twenties that the social reality hit me and I withdrew not knowing how to cope.

After a while I tried planning things for interactions but because the anxiety made my mind go blank it didn't help at all. I avoided it or became even more quiet. It is a lot easier to be a listener so that's what helped. The majority of people love to talk so I let them and ask questions. If they are close to me I can just be myself but that's how I learned to cope with the small talk and things with people I don't know. The attention is still a problem but with all the help I've received here I'm more hopeful I can manage it better.

I really appreciate your response. It's helping me to see things I couldn't before.

 

[Suzanne]

Awesome! That's great you're ok indoors and that small bit of garden. Baby steps are still great victories.




HAHA That's a great indicator of progress, being able to do something that was previously extremely difficult to nigh impossible.



I agree. I hope that you will soon be able to do a great many things that anxiety and panic has kept you from.

Having promised to not look up the negative details about my meds, I decided, because, after all, it is my body that the meds are going down and so, I looked up the benefits and one of the meds actually says it is used for autistic traits. Now, so far, my therapist has not hinted about autism, but found it interesting that he chose that kind of meds and something could be working already, as dinner is ready and my husband decided he needed to do something outside and it has taken a lot longer than he said it would, but for once, I am cool as anything and usually, I can feel hot waves of anger churning inside, so wonder if that is the meds helping?!

 

[Progster]

Did you observe your peers discreetly to gain some understanding? I always liked observing people go about their lives (not creepily or staring, haha) but never thought about applying social interactions to myself.

To some extent yes - I listened to their conversations to see what kind of things they were talking about, for example. But I realised that I was different, I just felt I was different inside and I knew that I couldn't be like them and didn't really want to be like them anyway, I found many of them very superficial and into things that didn't interest me, apart from not having access to their communication style. I remember that for a while I bought a teenage magazine because I wanted to learn more about relationships and understand them. I remember trying to understand how to have more friends, and someone told me, or I read, I can't remember, that to make friends, I had to be more friendly to people, so I sat next to a boy in my class who was quite popular, and said, 'hello.' He ignored me but turned to his friends sitting to the row behind him and said, "what's she doing sitting next to me?" That's was my reward for trying to be more friendly and fit it. After that I didn't try again.

 

[rainfall]

Having promised to not look up the negative details about my meds, I decided, because, after all, it is my body that the meds are going down and so, I looked up the benefits and one of the meds actually says it is used for autistic traits. Now, so far, my therapist has not hinted about autism, but found it interesting that he chose that kind of meds and something could be working already, as dinner is ready and my husband decided he needed to do something outside and it has taken a lot longer than he said it would, but for once, I am cool as anything and usually, I can feel hot waves of anger churning inside, so wonder if that is the meds helping?!

That is interesting.

I'm so happy for you Suzanne! That's excellent news. They must be working since it's not something you usually feel. I hope you continue to be pleasantly surprised.

 

[rainfall]

To some extent yes - I listened to their conversations to see what kind of things they were talking about, for example. But I realised that I was different, I just felt I was different inside and I knew that I couldn't be like them and didn't really want to be like them anyway, I found many of them very superficial and into things that didn't interest me, apart from not having access to their communication style.

Exactly, this was me. I knew I was different and had no interest in being like them but didn't know anyone else that was different. It made me feel more isolated.

I remember that for a while I bought a teenage magazine because I wanted to learn more about relationships and understand them. I remember trying to understand how to have more friends, and someone told me, or I read, I can't remember, that to make friends, I had to be more friendly to people, so I sat next to a boy in my class who was quite popular, and said, 'hello.' He ignored me but turned to his friends sitting to the row behind him and said, "what's she doing sitting next to me?" That's was my reward for trying to be more friendly and fit it. After that I didn't try again.

The audacity of people to think they are better than others for any reason gets to me. You might've had a better reaction from someone without such a huge ego but all those magazines want everyone to be popular. Of course, we usually find these things out after we needed the information and have had bad experiences unfortunately.

In eighth grade I was in an assembly and a popular guy was really down, very sad. I hate when people are hurting, doesn't matter if I know them. For some reason I braved a "hey, are you ok?" I knew it could end bad but surprisingly he was a talker and told me what was wrong and then chatted with me the rest of the time. He left in a great mood and I assumed that was that. He ran up to me at the end of the day to let me know it was all a misunderstanding about why he was upset. After that we actually became friends for a short while then he moved away a year later and that was that.

In the meantime I asked him why he would be friends with me. He said that his other friends didn't really care about him and were only there because he was popular but that I was real and he could be himself with me.

There were negative experiences, but one sticks out in particular. We had taken to writing notes back and forth in a notebook. One day he left it on the lunch table when he went to get his food. His popular friends, of course picked it up and started reading it out loud. One of my entries, and laughed like hyenas.

I was mortified, felt betrayed and angry. He snatched it back when he got there and looked across the huge hall where I was sitting alone. I got up and left, to their amusement. He stopped me and apologized. I asked him why he didn't take it with him or leave it with me? He said he didn't think they would do that. He knew I was hurt and angry because I wrote very personal things in there about my life I didn't tell anyone else. I told him I didn't want to write in it anymore, he understood and took it home. I knew he was sincere so I got over it but was way more careful about stuff after that.

 

[keebles]

I completely understand your struggle and thanks for the term! For me, they have always defined it as "severe social anxiety disorder" or "debilitating social anxiety disorder" (depending on the shrink).

As a child, I was a "pant-leg" kid (aka, I always hid behind my mother's pant leg in social situations and refused to speak to strangers). As as teen, I just became anti-social to deal (and it worked quite well), but in adulthood, when you have to keep a roof over your head and work at a job, that isn't as easy and it's always been a horrible struggle. I've been the medication route and only anti-anxiety meds and mood stabilizers work for me (anti-depressants were toxic to me), but hopefully meds will work for you if that is what you want to do.

Everyone deals with their anxiety differently, but I didn't realize how I dealt with mine until a few years ago and I don't recommend this for anyone, it's just how I deal.

I've always been overweight, which works really good at keeping a person in "wallflower" mode, at least in my world. No one has ever done the whole "pointing and staring and making fun of me" thing for being fat. I've been told I carry my weight well and most people are shocked when I tell them how much I do weigh but, by medical standards, I'm considered morbidly obese, so there you go.

Having said that though, all the normal weight-related health issues I just don't have (like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc), so I'm lucky on that front, but I don't typically eat all the "bad foods", so that might be why. I think it's more when and how I eat versus what I eat that makes me overweight (well, that and I have a very sedentary job and home life).

But a few years ago, for some stupid reason, I decided to lose it all (I'm still not sure why, maybe just to see if I could?). I went through the process the proper way, through a physician, but it didn't matter. The skinnier I got and the more people started to "notice" me, the more my social anxiety disorder kicked in. It got so bad that it got hard for me to leave the house. I made it all the way down to my so-called "goal weight", but I was absolutely miserable both mentally and physically. The more weight I lost, the more my cholesterol, blood pressure, and A1C levels went through the roof.

My health declined so bad that my other doctors (especially my neurologist), finally pulled me out of the program altogether. Once I gained the weight back (which didn't take long), all my health levels went back to normal and my anxiety tipped back into place as well. I figure the increase in my anxiety is what caused my body to crash all my other systems, although medically that doesn't make sense.

Lesson learned, but I'm a lot more careful about what triggers my anxiety now than I was before all that. Before I lost the weight, I would occasionally dress up for things like work parties or special meetings (not that I socialized anyway, but I would go), but now, the parties are a no-go and the meetings are like any other day...t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers. I've discovered (I guess the hard way), it's easier for me to stay hidden in plain sight to be able to function enough to get by.

 

[NinaB]

Wow you just described me. I didn't know it had an specific name. I remember at age 6 i had a severe meltdown because i was a bit late for class so when i entered the classroom everyone would look at me and i didnt want to go but my parents made me go anyways. I even remember the clothes i was wearing. Kinda traumatic huh?!

I was VERY anxious(that weird feeling when you feel your legs, it feels like there's a wave running through them)when i first posted here. Still get it when i post something or enter chatroom, but a lot better of course.

 

[Dillon]

The condition you were describing happens to me sometimes. My heart does race when I really want to talk to someone; it gets to the point my chest will hurt. I tend I hyperventilate a little but it’s worse since I have asthma. It’s worse in person obviously with me but there will be times when I want to text or chat with someone online I get anxious and my body shakes for a little bit, also why I don’t use chat on this site. I feel like it’s better for someone to talk to me at first hand since I suck sometimes at starting conversations.

 

[Mary Lyn]

Yes l have this. I was also six l think when l was asked by a teacher to perform some action on my desk and was mortified as everyone looked at me. I cannot stand having a photo taken.

 

[rainfall]

I completely understand your struggle and thanks for the term! For me, they have always defined it as "severe social anxiety disorder" or "debilitating social anxiety disorder" (depending on the shrink).

You're welcome! I apologize for my belated reply. My parents were against me and my siblings talking to anyone because of our situation and believing that anyone with a mental difficulty is weak. I can imagine I would've gone through a lot of diagnoses and medication had that happened so in one way I'm kind of grateful.

As a child, I was a "pant-leg" kid (aka, I always hid behind my mother's pant leg in social situations and refused to speak to strangers).

Exactly the same.

As as teen, I just became anti-social to deal (and it worked quite well), but in adulthood, when you have to keep a roof over your head and work at a job, that isn't as easy and it's always been a horrible struggle. I've been the medication route and only anti-anxiety meds and mood stabilizers work for me (anti-depressants were toxic to me), but hopefully meds will work for you if that is what you want to do.

I understand. It definitely intensifies the need to figure something workable. I'm glad you were able to find something that worked. Both of my sisters have tried anti-depressants with toxic results and I'm way more sensitive to medications than them so I would be even more hesitant to try them than normal. Even though I'm not completely against meds, (mostly temporarily I think they could be ok, just not long term for me) I still really would like to not try them if at all possible.

Lesson learned, but I'm a lot more careful about what triggers my anxiety now than I was before all that. Before I lost the weight, I would occasionally dress up for things like work parties or special meetings (not that I socialized anyway, but I would go), but now, the parties are a no-go and the meetings are like any other day...t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers. I've discovered (I guess the hard way), it's easier for me to stay hidden in plain sight to be able to function enough to get by.

I think it's an important lesson you learned. Just because there is a normalized standard, it doesn't mean everyone will fit it or be the happiest and healthiest on it. Being able to be yourself and comfortable in your own skin is important. Especially when you're dealing with other factors such as we are that can compound already existing issues. I think, being more aware of our triggers is extremely helpful to ourselves as well as those around us. Thank you for responding. Every response I learn a little more.

 

[rainfall]

Wow you just described me. I didn't know it had an specific name.

I didn't either until I looked it up trying to figure out exactly what was bothering me. haha

I remember at age 6 i had a severe meltdown because i was a bit late for class so when i entered the classroom everyone would look at me and i didnt want to go but my parents made me go anyways. I even remember the clothes i was wearing. Kinda traumatic huh?!

Definitely traumatic! It doesn't always to be abuse to be seen that way. Everyone is different and I know exatly what you're talking about because I've experienced it myself. I'd much rather be early than late and everyone stare!

I was VERY anxious(that weird feeling when you feel your legs, it feels like there's a wave running through them)when i first posted here. Still get it when i post something or enter chatroom, but a lot better of course.

I absolutely know the feeling. It was like having a small anxiety attack every time I've posted for the majority of the time I've been here and sometimes it still feels that way. Like you, I'm a lot better now.

 

[rainfall]

My heart does race when I really want to talk to someone; it gets to the point my chest will hurt. I tend I hyperventilate a little but it’s worse since I have asthma.

I can imagine that it's a little more scary for you than me considering you have asthma. Have you ever gotten to the point where you've had to use an inhaler? (If you have one of course.)

It’s worse in person obviously with me but there will be times when I want to text or chat with someone online I get anxious and my body shakes for a little bit, also why I don’t use chat on this site. I feel like it’s better for someone to talk to me at first hand since I suck sometimes at starting conversations.

I really relate to this. I have a hard time with starting conversations but will answer questions asked of me. My best friend, who I met on here actually, has been trying to help stretch me some but it's very scary. He got me to chat a bit in the chat room here a couple different times recently and each time I was shaking and generally feeling like all I wanted to do was run away. I'm ok with people I'm familiar with but new people or in a "room" with people I don't know is instantly anxiety inducing. Offline, I'm the quiet one listening and not saying much unless of course I know you. Then you know I'm not who I seem because of my anxiety.

As someone struggling with the same, just in case you ever really wanted to try it out, the people here in the chat room are very nice and almost always say hi whenever anyone enters and when you're new, welcome you. They would also understand if you wrote that you just wanted to listen or lurk for a bit. That's usually what I do is lurk.

 

[rainfall]

Yes l have this. I was also six l think when l was asked by a teacher to perform some action on my desk and was mortified as everyone looked at me. I cannot stand having a photo taken.

It's mind blowing to know there are so many that feel the same when I kind of thought it must just be another weird thing about me. Of course, it also sucks because that means there are more suffering.

So, yours was really early too. Most things I've read say that the majority of people have it later, like in their teens. I've often wondered if there is a deciding event that caused it or it's literally just part of me.

I don't like having my photo taken either. It's taken a long time to take them of myself and even then it was quite awhile for anyone to see them. I actually regret not having many with my son when he was an infant and toddler but I am working on it now. I don't post anything on social media, nor do I take a ton of pictures or share every one. It's just for me and him, or those very close to me.

 

[Dillon]

I can imagine that it's a little more scary for you than me considering you have asthma. Have you ever gotten to the point where you've had to use an inhaler? (If you have one of course.)





I really relate to this. I have a hard time with starting conversations but will answer questions asked of me. My best friend, who I met on here actually, has been trying to help stretch me some but it's very scary. He got me to chat a bit in the chat room here a couple different times recently and each time I was shaking and generally feeling like all I wanted to do was run away. I'm ok with people I'm familiar with but new people or in a "room" with people I don't know is instantly anxiety inducing. Offline, I'm the quiet one listening and not saying much unless of course I know you. Then you know I'm not who I seem because of my anxiety.

As someone struggling with the same, just in case you ever really wanted to try it out, the people here in the chat room are very nice and almost always say hi whenever anyone enters and when you're new, welcome you. They would also understand if you wrote that you just wanted to listen or lurk for a bit. That's usually what I do is lurk.

Yep I do have an inhaler but I don’t use it that much since the hyperventilating does not happen so often than when I was younger but there will be times. I also use it before and I work out or go for a run.

That’s what I usually do is lurk around but at the same time I end up saying nothing and leave which I feel really bad about at the end. I think it’s just one of those days where I can’t control my anxiety level where it goes up the roof for no reason.

 

[rainfall]

Yep I do have an inhaler but I don’t use it that much since the hyperventilating does not happen so often than when I was younger but there will be times.

That's good it doesn't happen so often!

That’s what I usually do is lurk around but at the same time I end up saying nothing and leave which I feel really bad about at the end. I think it’s just one of those days where I can’t control my anxiety level where it goes up the roof for no reason.

I usually return any greetings and fade out. I used to feel bad for not talking and not announcing my exit, but then, there's the anxiety of bringing attention to myself for doing that!! Then you know by now that they are pretty friendly and understand we're all different. Some have no difficulty talking while some of us do. I'm sure no one is upset at you for it. Maybe one day you will feel more comfortable. It has taken me a long time but I'm definitely getting better.

I hate those days. If you're referring to today, I hope you will be able to level out soon.

 

[Dillon]

That's good it doesn't happen so often!



I usually return any greetings and fade out. I used to feel bad for not talking and not announcing my exit, but then, there's the anxiety of bringing attention to myself for doing that!! Then you know by now that they are pretty friendly and understand we're all different. Some have no difficulty talking while some of us do. I'm sure no one is upset at you for it. Maybe one day you will feel more comfortable. It has taken me a long time but I'm definitely getting better.

I hate those days. If you're referring to today, I hope you will be able to level out soon.

I’m usually really comfortable talking to people whenever, but I would have every other week for some unknown reason my social anxiety acts up and I won’t talk to anyone. It sucks but I tend to manage.
An it happened the other day out in public trying to talk to someone (kind of a long story) so I kind of shut down for a while having my mind going just everywhere, but today I’m doing great.

 

[Michal]

Hi. This is my first post here. I am not autistic, i am just looking for some informations about scopophobia. In my case scopophobia looks like this "Then, there is a fear of being seen and a shamefacedness, which one sees in asylums. [...] We called it scopophobia — a morbid dread of being seen. In minor degree, it is morbid shamefacedness, and the patient covers the face with his or her hands. In greater degree, the patient will shun the visitor and escape from his or her sight where this is possible. Scopophobia is more often manifest among women than among men"

I am reading book "when blushing hurts" of Enrique Jadresic, and it is about erytrophobia. My case seems to be similar, but i am afraid of someone will see my shamefacednes, and this shamefacednes is some kind o automic raction.

U just cant find, any infromations abut this, and if somene know something please help, nad give some infromations.

 

[Propianotuner]

Do you have or suspect you may have it? Here is a link though there are many others. What is Scopophobia and Do I Have It? I apologize upfront for the long post.

Lol, I find myself wishing more for an apology on account of the very top of that article practically assaulting anyone who has that problem or something similar

 

[rainfall]

U just cant find, any infromations abut this, and if somene know something please help, nad give some infromations.

Im really sorry but I don't have any other information than what you can find on the internet. Can you find a licensed professional to consult in your area for more indepth information and possible help?