Responding to small talk

[Fino]

As a kid, I answered the phone, "Who is it?"
And I kept answering the phone.

 

[Lundi]

This sounds to me like arrogant classism. My mother and I both have Asperger's, and both of us are from the "working-class" category. My mother was from a family where her father left school at age 10 and was semi-illiterate, and whose mother was a factory worker who also left school early. I cannot see how looking down on others is a clear Asperger trait. To me this sounds like it assumes that working-class and poor people are too stupid and/or cannot have ASD by default.

We usually get the opposite, the neurotypical people look down on us not only for being weird and awkward, but also for being poorer and less affluent than they are. Although most neurotypical people here make six figures or are millionaires.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I struggle to be a part of small talk. It only really occurs at work. If I'm at home or around people at work, conversations tend to delve deeper, or are more comical.

At work I tend to keep a conversation brief and on topic. I notice on the phone and in email some people try and engage in small talk etc, but I struggle to accommodate it and usually steer the conversation back to work related subject matter. It feels like my conversation is scripted. The same greeting and such like on the phone to regular customers. I'm polite etc, but my way of speaking is tried and tested, and I don't really care for the conversation to stray from that.

Hearing small talk at work is difficult. It frustrates me to no end. Whilst I remain silent, internally I'm extremely agitated and my mind is racing with all manner of questions or reactions towards what I consider a waste of time. Now that I can use headphones at work I find it is a huge help. Still, I find myself putting headphones on when I hear small talk arise, but then I can often get distracted from work by looking at those engaging in small talk. Watching their facial and bodily movements and getting frustrated by that. It's strange to be honest.

If course, small talk will never not be a thing and it's unjustified to think conversations should be in my terms or not at all. I just find if I'm talking to someone at work I want to delve deeper than weather talk, conversations about the news, or asking one another what they're having for lunch or dinner.

Ed