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HI @Yeshuasdaughter - you are not a bad mother. I have seen how you care for your daughter and have worked to help her, and how you have helped your parents.I am being a terrible mom.
I love my parents. My parents need my support and my presence to help them. I am already disabled.
@YeshuasdaughterI stood up to this other relative. Trying to keep him away from my mother and my daughter. I was loud and forceful. And this other relative was louder and more forceful.
This relative was under the delusion that he was loving and protecting us, when really he was harming all of us.
Now I am so exhausted.
I am traumatized from being abused in nearly every way one can be abused by a close relative.
All I know is that my elderly parents need my help. And this other relative is unstoppable.
I do love this other relative very much, and I would in a heartbeat, give them both my kidneys, should they need them.
But I cannot abide them. I do not ever wish to see them again.
My dream life would be no contact at all ever again.
I do love this other relative very much, and I would in a heartbeat, give them both my kidneys, should they need them.
But I cannot abide them. I do not ever wish to see them again.
My dream life would be no contact at all ever again.
Remember that YOU are good, and your heart is good. You are precious, and your well being is important to Yeshua.heart racing. but safe. remembering gratitude.
I hurt for you, sister. I know you know God is bigger than all of this, but I also know how hard it can be to keep that in mind in the midst of the flames. Remember who also stands with us in the furnace. You may feel helpless, but you are not hopeless.I've had a very scary past week. A relative had serious medical needs. None of my other relatives visited this person in the hospital. This relative was facing a very serious diagnosis, and I wanted this relative to know he is loved and that we wanted them to pull through.
I visited this relative twice. The first time, the visit started out surprisingly nice. But by the end this relative was being abusive. Yes, from a hospital bed.
I took a day off to rest. I went back two days later and the relative was looking happier and healthier. This relative was even kinder and friendlier and more normal seeming at the beginning of the visit. But by the end they were far more abusive than the first time.
This relative was supposed to have a long hospital stay, but once said relative discovered they could stand up on their own and walk, they checked themself out of the hospital. This relative tried even to go down the elevator with me to get out. I yelled at said person and a nurse came up and guided them out of the elevator in an attempt to put them back to their room. I left in a hurry so that this relative would not follow me out of the hospital.
The following day, I went to my father's house, to care for him. My father is very ill. He just had surgery, and he has other very serious health needs. It was really nice at first. My daughter and I spent time watching and talking about Star Trek. Then my mom came home, and I helped her navigate some important personal needs online. It was really nice.
But this other relative that isn't even supposed to be out of the hospital showed up. It turns out they convinced the hospital social worker, because of the serious medical need, to hook them up with a hotel room less than a mile from my parents' place, for a week. I don't know how or why.
This other relative was talking crazy and behaving erratically. This day, the relative was not physically abusive, as they had witnesses, but they were extremely emotionally and mentally abusive to us all. And they would not leave. This relative hovered over spitting out the most violent vulgar things, and would not shutup.
I was so overwhelmed and scared from our previous visit. Just constantly for hours and hours berated. Everyone in the family was afraid. We all tried to sort of try to not attract attention.
My father even though he is physically weakened, tried his hardest to protect us and to stand up to this other relative. Finally my father collapsed in his chair, bowed over, and out of strength, saying "I can't take this, I physically can't take this. This could kill me. You've got to stop." But the other relative kept going.
I stood up to this other relative. Trying to keep him away from my mother and my daughter. I was loud and forceful. And this other relative was louder and more forceful.
This relative was under the delusion that he was loving and protecting us, when really he was harming all of us.
Now I am so exhausted.
I am traumatized from being abused in nearly every way one can be abused by a close relative.
I slept nearly the past 24 hours, and I want to sleep more. My loving daughter wakes me up to eat.
I have had two meltdowns today where I yelled and screamed "No words! No talking! Just let me be!"
I am being a terrible mom.
I have tried reporting this bad relative to the authorities many times. Every authority you could imagine. No one does anything.
I love my parents. My parents need my support and my presence to help them. I am already disabled.
And this other relative just walks into their house, freely, like shrapnel in a supercell.
My life is hell. I am alone in this. We are all isolated. And nothing can be done to change anything.
Every time I go to my parents' house, I put myself at risk. If I stay away, he unleashes his torrents on elderly people.
The police and sheriffs are defunded where I live. Drugs are legal. Nothing can be done.
All I know is that my elderly parents need my help. And this other relative is unstoppable.
I do love this other relative very much, and I would in a heartbeat, give them both my kidneys, should they need them.
But I cannot abide them. I do not ever wish to see them again.
My dream life would be no contact at all ever again.
There is a disease. It is called "Beriberi" it's from an African dialect. It means "I cannot. I cannot."
I have found myself crying and without strength saying "Beriberi". Because I simply cannot handle anything right now. Only sleep and the most gentle tones.
I hug a pillow and hold my own hands, under the blankets, and sleep.
And it's all I can do.
My worries are making me sick. I feel so weak. My throat hurts, probably from yelling the other day. My head hurts. I'm frightened. And I can't take any stress.
I am so glad to have survived cancer. And I am very blessed in most of my life. But this one relative is making it hell.
I wish them every blessing, but every problem in my life spawns from this relative's behavior.
We need a new response symbol, as my heart breaks for you. Sometimes I have great difficulty remembering that the Lord won’t give us more than we can bear, so it’s hard to remind you right now. But we know it’s true.i took a day off of answering calls from relatives.
i went to church and windowshopping. i didn't go home until i was physically fatigued and couldn't hold myself up. it was nice (other than the weird morning). i literally cannot walk today, i did so much yesterday.
but here i am again in it. i am so exhausted. lonely.
they're old and fragile. they need me. i can't turn my back.
it's not like this clean thing where there's abuse and you can go no contact.
the fact is, my parents need me.
and i'm tired of being hurt. i am so alone in this. i can't send my daughter to help, cos she could get hurt.
there is no stopping this other relative.
the abusive relative has four warrants out and because of our police and sherriffs being defunded, they don't even get arrested for anything, no matter how violent.
sobbing.