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Reconcile with my Aspie boyfriend

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Greenie, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. Greenie

    Greenie New Member

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    My ex-aspie BF and I are in our 50's. He has not been diagnosed and this has never been discussed. My therapist mentioned this might be the case after meeting him. We dated for over a year then broke up over a silly argument. He told me I was the love of his life, his best friend. It's been 6 mos since the breakup, and we've been talking and met in person a week ago. It was very nice and possibly the best conversation we've had. I'm pretty certain he still has feelings for me and I still love him. He told me he had just ended a brief relationship that was miserable. I've emailed him after our meeting following up on our conversation and telling him that I'm open to continuing the conversation when he's ready. I also sent him a text after I found a sentimental thing he did for me that I had not seen before. I told him how I feel and that I want us to find our way back to each other. I've had no response from him to the email or text. I understand he might need time or might be overloaded, but how long do I wait before I let it go and move on?
     
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  2. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    Every autistic person is different, so there isn’t a “one size fits all” answer to your question. We all have different autistic symptoms and traits and also different personalities, IQs, life experiences that have shaped us, etc. In other words, we’re all individuals.

    I don’t think him ignoring your e-mail and text is an autistic thing. Rather, it’s just rude, if not outright cruel. If he responds, good. If he doesn’t respond, then you’ll know he doesn’t share your feelings. It’s as simple as that, whether he’s autistic or not.
     
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  3. Greenie

    Greenie New Member

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    I agree with you to a point and thank you for your input. I have noticed that in the past, he does not seem to be aware of the impact of "no response" and it only happened a couple times. It seems pretty aspie typical. However, our communication when we were dating was very frequent and consistent so he knows what that looks like. After hearing from several people on this forum, I decided to sent a short note asking if he would like to take a walk in the park after work this fri. That's about as direct and clear as I can be. If I get no response to this, then I think that's a better indicator. I will have made my best effort.
     
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  4. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Just Enjoying Survival V.I.P Member

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    Walking is a good choice by the way. There is less pressure than having to sit and talk which is so formal somehow.
    I hope it works out.
     
  5. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I think going for a walk is a good idea, too.
    Walking side by side removes the pressure of
    sitting someplace, face to face.
     
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  6. Greenie

    Greenie New Member

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    Thank you. :). It is what it is. If I get no response, then I think that means many things. We already had our formal sit down conversation and that went really well.
     
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  7. Greenie

    Greenie New Member

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    Update: he was open to walking but out of town, so I said I would reach out to reschedule. Trying to say "less" and be direct/clear. I'm a processor, so I tend to over-explain, over-think, over-analyze. At least I'm aware!
     
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  8. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Just Enjoying Survival V.I.P Member

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