Time to back it down a few notches
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Yeah, it certainly is confusing. I think that's largely because professionals don't fully understand what's going on. So with that in mind I don't think examining the minutiae of your diagnosis is going to give you more information. It could well be that the diagnosing doctor got it wrong. When we were first looking to see what was up with my youngest the paediatrician basically diagnosed him as ADHD within minutes and was already telling us we'd need to have him on meds pronto. He's about as typically ASD as you can get, but once the idea that "disruptive boy = ADHD" was in the doc's head it was difficult to disabuse him of it.Well it wasn't officially changed on my medical records, it still says Asperger's syndrome and everyone who was told still sees me as that label. But when I discussed this with a therapist, and a doctor, they said something about my condition being BAP now, according to the latest DSMV-5 or whatever it's called. But then I read somewhere else that BAP only applies to NT siblings of autistic siblings or something.
This is why I'm all confused. It's all confusing.
I know.Yeah, it certainly is confusing. I think that's largely because professionals don't fully understand what's going on. So with that in mind I don't think examining the minutiae of your diagnosis is going to give you more information. It could well be that the diagnosing doctor got it wrong. When we were first looking to see what was up with my youngest the paediatrician basically diagnosed him as ADHD within minutes and was already telling us we'd need to have him on meds pronto. He's about as typically ASD as you can get, but once the idea that "disruptive boy = ADHD" was in the doc's head it was difficult to disabuse him of it.
Cutting to the chase what matters is how you feel your current diagnosis is helping you. It sounds like the BAP is something current professionals feel more appropriately describes your behaviours. If you agree then I would leave it as that and not worry about the past.
I am “autistic and ADHD”. You sound a bit like me.1. Although I was as articulate as my peers as a child (with no speech delays), I wasn't a "little professor"
2. I didn't have special interests until age 11 (and even then they were obsessions with people, not exactly special interests)
3. I didn't obsess or hyperfocus on the interests I did have
4. I was interested in my peers from as young as age 2 (and probably before but 2 was when I was first at nursery with other children)
5. I never stacked or lined toys, I just played with them, using imagination and role play
6. I wasn't very good with constructive toys such as Lego, I preferred playing with the little Lego men using Lego objects built by my older brother
7. I made normal eye contact from around birth (my parents remember I made eye contact as a baby and I know I did as a child)
8. Although I was a very anxious child, I didn't flap my hands or rock
9. I was very expressive, if I was anxious then I'd cry and need an adult to hug me
10. I was scared of a lot of things but not for sensory reasons
11. The only sensory-related things I was scared of was anything that could make sudden loud noises, such as fireworks, dogs, balloons and bells. When I was little I might have cried at a sudden loud noise, when I got older I would just whine and startle (as in jump nervously). I was avoidant of sudden loud noises, but I didn't mind continuous loud noise
12. Though I was shy, I still enjoyed birthday parties once I was there, and would naturally join in party games and other activities
13. I was very chatty and could hold a conversation with both children and adults, talking about anything (not just one special subject, which I didn't have anyway)
14. I could engage in imaginative play with other children, although I sometimes took my games very seriously and get stressed if others didnt follow the rules, but if the game wasn't invented by me then I was happy to go along with their rules
15. Socialising seemed easy and fun to me, even though I could sometimes be hard work, like I'd cry if I had to go last on the swing because I felt kids making me go last meant I was inferior to them or something, or I'd cry if I lost a board game and even hit the child who won (not hard or violently, as I wasn't a violent or aggressive child, I could just be impulsive)
16. I hated being alone. Each weekend or school holiday day I would ask my parents what we were doing that day, and if the day didn't involve me seeing another child (that wasn't my siblings) then I'd put it down to a "I did nothing" day, even if I had engaged in indoor activities with my parents and siblings. Sometimes I'd demand and cry for my mum to phone a friend or relative with children just to give me another child to play with (again who wasn't my siblings, as for some reason they didn't count)
17. I didn't mind change, in fact I loved surprises. The only change I didn't like was if it involved disappointment, like if I was excited about something only for it to be cancelled, particularly at the last minute. I understand this is common in children, but I guess I took disappointment a step too far and would throw a tantrum, even at age 13
18. I seemed very people-orientated
19. I didn't seem "socially exhausted" after school, I seemed quite willing to go out and play with other children or my cousins after school and not want to go to bed at night because I didn't want to be alone
However I seemed more Aspie when I was an adolescent (even though I was diagnosed before adolescence), for the following reasons:-
1. I was lonely
2. I was mentally a few years behind my age
3. I got obsessions with particular people (such as certain school teachers, neighbours, etc), that made my grades slip and probably caused a lot of my friendships to fail. At that age (around 11-14) I seemed unsure of my gender and sexuality (although I was a girl obviously, I knew that, but I felt like a boy inwardly, and even though naturally I'm straight I used to get very obsessed with female teachers, and the homophobes in my class would call me a lesbian and not want to talk to me)
4. I had a lot of child-like tendencies, such as clinging to my mother at social events instead of going off with my peers, and crying at stupid trivial things, and being a bit embarrassing in public
5. I didn't miss nonverbal social cues but I did often make the wrong choices, like I'd be clingy to certain girls I knew didn't want to hang around with me but would reject girls who did show friendship interest in me, even though I could see all the signs but I just made the wrong choice of friends, maybe due to lack of self-confidence. So my social isolation was partially my fault
6. I couldn't cope with PE lessons because I hated team games, as I never understood the rules of the games so I'd often mess up and the other girls would yell at me
7. I had an odd gait and often attracted bullies, particularly when I was walking home from school, due to my "weak and pathetic" body language
8. I often had to sit alone on the bus or in class, even though I didn't want to
9. I confided most of my problems and feelings in my school support worker like you would a best friend
10. I failed stupidly when trying to be cool, for example when I was 15-16 I tried to be cool and confident in PE but was unaware that wearing shorts with unshaved legs wasn't cool for girls so that probably ruined my chances of being cool or popular
11. Speaking of popular, I was frighteningly unpopular
12. For some reason I just couldn't fit in with any cliques, even when I befriended the other outcasts I got shunned and excluded and bullied. I was a misfit
14. I temporarily became quite disconnected from my emotions - only when aged 13-14 on and off, but before then and after then I've always strongly been emotional and in touch with all emotions
I'd understand if I had been diagnosed at like age 16, given the details of my teenage self, but being diagnosed at age 8 with that profile in babyhood and childhood? It just doesn't add up. I showed more symptoms of a highly sensitive child and ADHD, yet they ignored those and diagnosed me with an ASD. And now that some genius has taken Asperger's/PDD-NOS out of autism and all ASDs now are just autism, I feel like I'm autistic even LESS. I'm so confused about it.
Does my profile sound typically autistic-like to you? I know all that, because I have a good memory of my childhood, and my parents remember a lot of how I was.
I've never had problems getting a date either, but for some reason I suck at making friends with my same-age NT peers. I've mostly dated NTs, and my husband is NT. When I first met him I seemed to know all the signs and what to do, it felt natural, and the relationship has never been complicated or rocky or anything. We're happily married, 9 years later. I think maybe it's because dating and marriage is similar to a family sort of thing, and I grew up in a secure, supporting, loving family. Friendships seem to have different, more complicated, rules that I fail at following. Or maybe NT women are just hard to make friends with or date, being so most of my friends are guys and I've never found it hard to attract a date but I have never been taken advantage of either. I've had a few boyfriends before I met my husband, but I'm the one who dumped them (not saying that proudly, but I felt it was the right thing rather than stringing them along and pretending). I dumped them in the most tactful way, although they didn't take it very well, which I can understand.I am “autistic and ADHD”. You sound a bit like me.
I do not look like I am autistic. I really am on the spectrum though… it is a “spectrum”
I never had the problems getting a girlfriend even… just was clueless when I had them
I just said that I didn't understand why people who don't "identify" as autistic want to be on forums for autistic people and that it made me personally uncomfortable, and this is honestly why. I never said anything about the whether you should actually be on here or not. I also don't have a grudge against you and I've barely interacted with you, but OK, lie about a stranger I guess?
I just hate when people ask why I'm posting on an autism site if I don't have autism. It's not really a black and white thing, it's me questioning my diagnosis because as I've gotten older I often feel like I was misdiagnosed. I'm just confused a lot of the time. I get muddled up with BAP and PDD-NOS, as I thought they were the same thing.I'm NT and have been a participating member here for at least seven years. I first came here to learn about autism as I have some family members who are diagnosed. I stay here because I like the people here. I don't care about what diagnostic labels have been applied to people. If I like someone, then I like them. End of story.