Realizing you're autistic, how'd you react?

[TouhouFan28]

When I realized I was autistic I felt a weight of emotions. Most of them was grief, frustration and anger. I was religious at the time so I directed a lot of them towards God. I was angry that he didn't give me the impressive autism that makes you talented, intelligent or strongly motivated. I had the type that was least desirable in society. I grieved the life I could've had if I was neurotypical. I was angry that he handicapped me from birth.

Despite my outrage, I also felt relief. I felt relieved that my alienation had a name. That my uniqueness had a community and I'm glad that I've accepted this as myself.

 

[tree]

I thought of it as a description
that changed nothing regarding
how I viewed myself or other
people.

 

[Judge]

When I first thought about it I remained in a state of denial.

When I finally realized it I accepted it I wanted to explore who and what I am.

And I came to this website.

Knowing that it was a lot tougher for me while in denial than accepting it.

 

[Ghostinthemachine]

Found it hard at first realising i had been looking at things through a wtong pair of glasses for so long but it made sense over time some of the poor choices i made,didnt absolve me from my own guilt as i accept my responsibility but recogise that some decisions were flavoured with something i knew nothing about at the time

 

[AprilR]

I got depressed. I had no one to talk to, so my depression grew inside me and made me physically ill. I had to read and research a lot about autistic people's lives, and talk with people online before i could stop hating myself.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

DId not bother me took a while to figure what autism is then put two and two together, and what I thought was
bad luck was not. Made a lot of great decisions over my life like education upgrades which I enjoyed. Which a NT would not have done.