• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Realizing you're autistic, how'd you react?

TouhouFan28

TouhouFan28

New Member
When I realized I was autistic I felt a weight of emotions. Most of them was grief, frustration and anger. I was religious at the time so I directed a lot of them towards God. I was angry that he didn't give me the impressive autism that makes you talented, intelligent or strongly motivated. I had the type that was least desirable in society. I grieved the life I could've had if I was neurotypical. I was angry that he handicapped me from birth.

Despite my outrage, I also felt relief. I felt relieved that my alienation had a name. That my uniqueness had a community and I'm glad that I've accepted this as myself.
 
I thought of it as a description
that changed nothing regarding
how I viewed myself or other
people.
 
When I first thought about it I remained in a state of denial.

When I finally realized it I accepted it I wanted to explore who and what I am.

And I came to this website.

Knowing that it was a lot tougher for me while in denial than accepting it.
 
Found it hard at first realising i had been looking at things through a wtong pair of glasses for so long but it made sense over time some of the poor choices i made,didnt absolve me from my own guilt as i accept my responsibility but recogise that some decisions were flavoured with something i knew nothing about at the time
 
I got depressed. I had no one to talk to, so my depression grew inside me and made me physically ill. I had to read and research a lot about autistic people's lives, and talk with people online before i could stop hating myself.
 
DId not bother me took a while to figure what autism is then put two and two together, and what I thought was
bad luck was not. Made a lot of great decisions over my life like education upgrades which I enjoyed. Which a NT would not have done.
 
I was suicidal upon learning I was likely autistic. I even tried some quack cures based on misinformation and damaged my health in the process. It didn't help that my family was hostile to autistic people or autism in general, at the time - and basically hated me for who I was.

It took me many years to come to terms with having autism and that only really started happening within a few years of a formal diagnosis.
 
At the time I was living a semi feral lifestyle in remote tropical rainforests and had been homeless for many years. Finding out about autism was the key to understanding how I got there. I was happy to finally have some answers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom