Question for NT women here?

[TempeFan]

There are tons of combinations of traits that children could inherit. Like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. Each child is special. Each child has different needs. The only thing they all need for sure are parents who care enough to provide them with adequate love and support and guidance to become the best they can be.

The best mom I have ever met had 4 children, savant, premie, deaf, then artistic. Each had their own set of challenges, none inherited. Each grew up to be happy healthy well adjusted individuals. Each is married with children and careers they really love. It's not because they were born with certain physical characteristics but because they had parents who made sure they had an equal chance to learn to develop their strengths and overcome their weaknesses - no excuses, no molly-coddling, no abuse.

If all that matters to this NT woman of yours is having a child with a specific set of "ideal" genetics, then you can adopt. I pity the fool who marries her almost as much as I would pity that child. A child is a gift not a robot engineered as the perfect chattel.

 

[All-Rounder]

As a NT im fairly different and difficult and i can barely manage my own life. I have some ovary issues and I wouldnt want them inherited neither my condition worsened.

I do not want children, I don't think my job is to do that considering the orphan numbers, id be very sad if my partner would desire one, especially if he had the aspie traits very tough on him, Id question his ability to even stick by my side forever, which i have experienced a lot of breakup from my current partner who has hfa and stresses a lot. Not everyone is the same but divorce rates are very high and very few partners last til old age.

I would not handle being a single parent, i would not handle having 2-3 people help maybe either neither could i rely on just anyone to impose their misguided techniques on a defenseless child.

Children require very much remuneration and education and they are very much social skill needing from a parent to help them out in illness, school issues, their lifetime conditions, psychological help. Ive never been successful in career neither will i change my domain now.

I have an obsession with autism and some of its traits [even if they are sometimes unpleasant and stressful to me] and i think autistic children may be more pleasant to me as i dont like children and cant keep up with their energy, but then it depends on the child. The mental image of an autistic child being silent and focused, building things is very interesting. Even so, at very most [though i dont plan on working with children] I would help out other ppls autistic children to fit in and behave and learn to do tasks that theyre required to.

 

[All-Rounder]

Im also not very workoholic and cooking skills arent great, I require a lot of time to recharge and do what I like. Being made a mother for someone's sake is my greatest nightmare in life. I fear intercourse for the same reason and I will need a lot of contraceptive methods at once.

 

[312Sarah]

I’m an NT and once dated an aspie. I very much would have wanted to have a child with him. In hindsight I realize he was the one terribly afraid of having a child with his traits, not me.

 

[Theta.G]

There are worse traits that could be passed on...

For example lets say you met a gorgeous NT woman. bangin bod, who says she loves you but is as smart as a bag of hammers, comes from a line of drug addicted alcoholics and never learned about (or absorbed) good morals and values growing up.

If you find a woman and she loves you the possibility of passing on aspergers won't be a deal breaker, for love conquers all. And if you find one who puts up a massive fuss over it start thinking critically about what she'll be contributing to the genetic pool and the child's upbringing.

TLDR. Yes there are women out there who will have children with a male aspie. Low, medium and high quality women. Many of them. Just try not to put them on a pedistal and don't go with the first one that gives you attention or you may end up with the example woman above, then as a single dad raising a kid alone. Or worse, she would be raising the kid in a highly toxic environment. Both situations are pretty bad actually. Lol

 

[All-Rounder]

If she wants children but worries about their health or you do too, you should have in vitro fertilization, this is great to ensure maximized health from both genetic pools and prevent more risky conditions. If i wanted children with anyone id have in vitro to make sure the safety is maximized and i wont birth a kid thatll die minutes after birth out of my lack of care or responsibility. Or thatll suffer a lifetime or have it harder than he deserves his life to be. I dont like thinking of dooming a child to a difficult life.

Sure some may think it worth it, but its a lot of trauma watching your baby die because some condition. And starting all over again. Maybe I seem cold by this, but it saves everyone suffering. I think it's a responsibility we all should have. Sure, there may not be certain to have a perfectly healthy child but at least you did your best as a parent and you will keep doing it.

Autism is likely not going to be able to be prevented and so people have to be automatically be ready to have children with autism at the time they decide to have a child. Many ppl are undiagnosed, and there are autist children who come into nt families.

If shes prepared to love you for you along with your autistic traits, then im sure she wont judge the child for theirs. She might actually want an autistic child, if she sees how much of a good person one can be. c; She fell in love with how special you are, after all, has she not? And it may be interesting and a joy to prepare them together with you for the world and enjoy the fact that the child reminds them of their daddy/is a bit like their daddy.

If she is annoyed or finds your traits difficult then she may be worried its too much to deal with 2 difficult people. Which is what Im thinking of in terms of worries. But not every autist is the same, kid may be better -- or worse. It is a responsibility nonetheless.

 

[Fino]

Wait a second... is it bad to have AS?

 

[All-Rounder]

Wait a second... is it bad to have AS?

Depends whom you ask. I say not necessarily but it's hard to have social issues like I do. My bf hates his autism, and it's hard for me to know how he feels and how much he struggles. I think it's hard, but life is really hard anyway depends what you get.

 

[Mr Allen]

Wait a second... is it bad to have AS?

Is the Pope a Catholic?

The answer's yes if you're wondering

 

[Fino]

Is the Pope a Catholic?

The answer's yes if you're wondering

I thought the pope was a criminal!

 

[Jorjor23]

I don't mind the possibility at all. I grew up with HFA brother. Nothing new to me

 

[paloftoon]

Also, some AS people can function and produce just as well as regular members of society. I think it's horrible for a person to not want to be with a partner because of such a trait. They should try to experience and give the person a chance as much as possible as we should do the same with others as much as possible too.

If someone is super hot to someone else, someone could make exceptions too. You never know, lol.

 

[Nauti]

I am ND and I have 7 children. I'm not sure if my kid's dad is on the spectrum, or not, he's pretty much closest to narcissistic personality disorder, in terms of textbook traits, but our children are GORGEOUS PEOPLE.

One is HN autistic, one is "non-binary" "non normative" most likely HFA, but no diagnosis, a gentle, caring, individualistic and adorable young man.

One (youngest) says, and I quote " I would be a psychopath if it wasn't for you, mum" he has an IQ of 145 like me, he's definitely neuro diverse, but I'm not sure he would be diagnosable with anything, he's doing fine socially.

One has been diagnosed with BPD but he might actually have HFA, he is a very idealistic vegan.

I have a neurotypical vegan daughter too, she is a fashion designer, a truly stunning, compassionate and wonderful human being. My other daughter is NT too, also a stunning human.

Having children is AWESOME; frightening, exhausting, yes, but deeply satisfying, rewarding, heart opening and maturing, regardless of neuro status.

My high needs autistic son has been challenging to care for, especially with his dad's and my issues and how many children I've birthed, but he is still a delightful human and I'm glad he's part of our family.

My mum and stepmum weren't Autistic, as far as I know, but they both had Autistic daughters (thanks to my dad's genes) . But both my sister and I are smart, super caring and responsible mum's.

I suspect my mum and step mum both suffer from borderline personality disorder, so, although they are NT, they are not necessarily better than having a HFA wife or girlfriend. My Dad got dumped and cheated on, by both of them.

I have found that relationships with NT's hasn't really worked out for me and now my current partner and besties are all Aspies, like me.

 

[Fino]

I am ND and I have 7 children. I'm not sure if my kid's dad is on the spectrum, or not, he's pretty much closest to narcissistic personality disorder, in terms of textbook traits, but our children are GORGEOUS PEOPLE.

One is HN autistic, one is "non-binary" "non normative" most likely HFA, but no diagnosis, a gentle, caring, individualistic and adorable young man.

One (youngest) says, and I quote " I would be a psychopath if it wasn't for you, mum" he has an IQ of 145 like me, he's definitely neuro diverse, but I'm not sure he would be diagnosable with anything, he's doing fine socially.

One has been diagnosed with BPD but he might actually have HFA, he is a very idealistic vegan.

I have a neurotypical vegan daughter too, she is a fashion designer, a truly stunning, compasionate and wonderful human being. My other daughter is NT too, also a stunning human.

Having children is AWESOME; frightening, exhausting, yes, but deeply satisfying, rewarding, heart opening and maturing, regardless of neuro status.

My high needs autistic son has been challenging to care for, especially with his dad's and my issues and how many children I've birthed, but he is still a delightful human and I'm glad he's part of our family.

My mum and stepmum weren't Autistic, as far as I know, but they both had Autistic daughters (thanks to my dad's genes) . But both my sister and I are smart, super caring and responsible mum's.

I suspect my mum and step mum both suffer from borderline personality disorder, so, although they are NT, they are not necessarily better than having a HFA wife or girlfriend. My Dad got dumped and cheated on, by both of them.

I have found that relationships with NT's hasn't really worked out for me and now my current partner and besties are all Aspies, like me.

QUACKADOODLEDOO, this sounds like an eventful group. Wow!! Good job...I think! You're awesome! I can't tell if that's a proper response, but it's what I'm thinkin' so probably!