Probably going to flunk a college course

[Forest Cat]

Could it be that you are sabotaging yourself? In the first post in this thread you said "I am probably going to flunk the course". So mentally you had flunked this two weeks ago. You can't keep telling yourself you are going to fail, no one should tell themselves that. It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is there anything you can do or is the deadline set in stone and you just have to hope for the best?

 

[Swansong]

Flunking a college course? I flunked multiple college degrees due to mental health issues

Even if it happens, life goes on, one way or another.

Having said that, this sounds like some form of anxiety which is often what procrastination often is, a maladaptive way of handling anxiety.

It's one thing to just doing a poor job and getting a poor grade because of any number of common academic reasons but to just not do it all seemingly over unclear instructions hits very strongly at a mental cause, even a simply lazy person will just do whatever to get it over with.

 

[Markness]

I don’t know my final grade but it’s probably not good.

I am also thinking of leaving this forum again.

 

[Forest Cat]

I am also thinking of leaving this forum again.

Can you share why? Several others seem to have left also and I wonder if it's unpleasant here or something is bothering people or if they just have other things to do.

 

[Markness]

Can you share why? Several others seem to have left also and I wonder if it's unpleasant here or something is bothering people or if they just have other things to do.

I’ll never get to post about having a girlfriend, I’ve had people turn against me, and I still have detractors here.

 

[Rodafina]

Can you share why? Several others seem to have left also and I wonder if it's unpleasant here or something is bothering people or if they just have other things to do.

I know you were asking Markness for his thoughts, but I just wanted to jump in and share that I think for those of us who stick around for long enough, we will inevitably see the ebb and flow of people coming and going.

@Forest Cat, you and I have been here for over a year (and you longer than me), and I think the pattern of the revolving door becomes more evident the longer one chooses to stick around.

 

[Forest Cat]

I’ll never get to post about having a girlfriend, I’ve had people turn against me, and I still have detractors here.

But people have supported you too, many times. They have tried to share advice and be helpful and done nothing bad. So that's something.

 

[tree]

I don’t know my final grade but it’s probably not good.

I am also thinking of leaving this forum again.

You've got sort of a Schrodinger's cat thing going on
with the grade.

Yes, you do have recurrent thoughts.

In this case it's telling yourself that since you don't have a gf,
and believe people are against you wanting one, that it's
hopeless so you'd rather retreat since the story is so
uncomfortable.

 

[Markness]

You've got sort of a Schrodinger's cat thing going on
with the grade.

Yes, you do have recurrent thoughts.

In this case it's telling yourself that since you don't have a gf,
and believe people are against you wanting one, that it's
hopeless so you'd rather retreat since the story is so
uncomfortable.

Aren’t my feelings valid?

 

[tree]

Feelings are feelings.

When you tell yourself things that
make misery feelings, what is the use of that?

 

[Masked Man]

I think you need more help than what this forum can provide.

This college paper is a perfect example of your issue:

You had a project with an end date. You have pathological avoidance problems, procrastinated and did no work on the project. You didn't understand the instructions yet you didn't reach out to the instructor for help - instead you just said "I don't know how to do this," threw up your hands, and, presumably, didn't complete the project. Now you're avoiding the consequences, have assumed that you failed, and are here moaning about it, looking for sympathy.

I don't know how much insight you are capable of, but I think this is a good illustration of your larger problem. Perhaps it's time to consider that there are some things you will simply not be able to accomplish in life. This is not necessarily failure, rather acceptance of your abilities. Acceptance can go a long way with regards to ones mental health.

Good luck

 

[The Pandector]

I don’t know my final grade but it’s probably not good.

I am also thinking of leaving this forum again.

I know how you feel, I think. In myself, I understand it as an executive function failure. You can’t get started. You don’t need a class in writing essays, you need a different paradigm, and I’m not going to insult you by offering one.

I’m entirely impressed that you are going to school with an issue like this. In my own case, I had to quit school and start educating myself. I’ll just suggest this…

Quit stressing over this class; it is what it is. Climb completely out of the box and ask yourself, ‘in what way could I learn this material?’ Then set about to learn it. If your solution doesn’t fit the classroom setting, then accept that fact and quit getting tied up in knots.

However, most instructors are open to honest ways to help a student who’s struggling. But, to them, a student who fails without asking for help isn’t a good investment.

Executive function breakdowns are impossible to explain and look like malfeasance to other people. Don’t beat yourself up; find your own way forward. And, please don’t leave; I enjoy your posts.

 

[Markness]

I think you need more help than what this forum can provide.

This college paper is a perfect example of your issue:

You had a project with an end date. You have pathological avoidance problems, procrastinated and did no work on the project. You didn't understand the instructions yet you didn't reach out to the instructor for help - instead you just said "I don't know how to do this," threw up your hands, and, presumably, didn't complete the project. Now you're avoiding the consequences, have assumed that you failed, and are here moaning about it, looking for sympathy.

No, I actually did write some pages and I did contact the instructor.

Don’t wish me good luck when you really don’t at all.

 

[Masked Man]

Forgive me if I misunderstood. Here's what I got from your posts:

Well, it's currently the 6th week of the course and I still haven't started it. This is partly because even with the instructions I've been given, I still don't know how to start writing…



I haven't asked him (the instructor) at all (for clarifications)



I don’t know how to start the paper even with the instructions.



I couldn’t get past two pages and I missed the deadline.



I don’t know my final grade…



Have you checked your grade? If you have, then I am sorry for my misunderstanding. My impression was that you were too afraid to check your grade because you felt poorly about it.

 

[Mary Terry]

We all wish you could find a girlfriend, @Markness. Many people have offered you excellent suggestions about how to go about finding someone. You have made numerous redundant threads over the years about your desire for a girlfriend and people have repeatedly offered useful advice in response to your threads.

But you seem to never implement a single suggestion, or adopt anyone's advice about what to do, or devise any strategy to reach your goal of finding a girlfriend. Then you blame other people for your failure to take action and accuse them of not wanting you to reach your goal. I think some people have burned out on trying to help you because you respond so negatively to them. They have run out of sympathy because you make zero effort to realistically find a girlfriend.

We cannot snap our fingers, wiggle our noses, say abracadabra or perform any kind of magic or a miracle for you. All we can do is offer suggestions which has repeatedly been done. It is totally up to you to do something positive to fulfill your goal of finding a girlfriend. We will help you, but you must help yourself and stop complaining about your situation and blaming others for your failure.

Get out of your house TODAY and DO something constructive to find a girlfriend. It's Sunday. Go to a church today. If you don't want to go to a church, then go to the zoo or a public place where you can meet people. Smile at girls, be brave and introduce yourself to a girl, start a conversation with a girl or do something to get the attention of a girl. If they walk away from you or ignore you, then find another girl to talk to. You must make a start at doing something proactive in order to ever meet someone. No girl is going to just fall in your lap. You have to do something to interest a woman in you.

I'm not being mean. I am being realistic.

I, like everyone else here, sincerely wish you good luck.

 

[Markness]

Feelings are feelings.

When you tell yourself things that
make misery feelings, what is the use of that?

I suppose I do it as cries for help.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Have you tried using something like Chat GPT as a learning tool? Some of these bots can be fed a book (like your textbook and / or instructions) and then explain it to you in a way that you understand by allowing you to ask questions and give you answers in 'your own lingo', so to speak.

I'm not suggesting that you use a bot like this to write your paper, because that's both unethical and bad practice overall, but using something like this as an extra learning tool can definitely summarize text and the underlying concepts in a personalized way, kind of like having a tutor who understands the material already and answers your questions way better than a human who's well-versed in it probably could.

It can't hurt to try, at least!

 

[Cryptid]

I’ve had people turn against me, and I still have detractors here.

Who has turned against you? Who are your detractors?

 

[Rodafina]

I suppose I do it as cries for help.

Is the support you receive from forum folk helpful to you?

 

[tree]

That is an answer for *Why do you keep telling people that you're a failure?*

What I asked was why do you keep telling yourself things that make you miserable.

Asking others for help is one thing.
Telling yourself that you're to be pitied and life is unfair is another.

The story that you keep repeating to yourself, that anything less than
perfection is failure, is harmful to you. It does offer a pretext for
engagement with others, though. You get to request solutions, but
then none of the answers satisfy you, so you continue the process.