Playing the Aspie Card

[watersprite]

On the Inside Sometimes the systems of strengths and weaknesses in myself can be seen as categories of action potentials when combined and enlivened with my interests and needs. I "see" them as 3 dimensional (?) geometric sort of shapes like in my paintings.

But they each have an intrinsic energy source that comes from me and my connection to Life. I choose whether to keep these potentials quiet, or to activate them. If I go for a goal, actively, it's not a guarantee that I'll succeed but I will learn stuff.

My areas of weakness ( or lack of NT strengths ) have directed me to quiet corners or even canyon-like labyrinths. I agree with that some might do great things in the World At Large while due to differences in individuality others of us navigate off the grid or at least minimize as much as possible the NTworlds. I have wonder and respect for all of us.

 

[On the Inside]

That is well put, Kestrel, and a very interesting strategy of organization and activation. I am challenged in the organizational department and "lose" things like strengths, energy, time, clarity, when things get too hectic. Low and slow is best for me.

Now, where did I put that Aspie card?

 

[royinpink]

I am in the unusual position of working in education, where my colleagues are aware of or even trained in special education and ASDs. I still did not disclose at work until I absolutely needed to in order to explain why I needed time off due to anxiety, but they were willing to try to accommodate me and renew my contract despite that. I felt a bit paranoid about it for awhile, mainly because they seemed to want to keep it secret from everyone else.

Recently, it's actually proven to make me desirable to employers as I'm looking at positions that would deal directly with working with kids on the spectrum. They know it means I'm thorough, I'm detailed, and I 'get it'.

With my boyfriend, I explain myself a lot and he knows now the sorts of things I need and why. It's proven to be a bit of a struggle to adjust, as before diagnosis, I would push myself to my breaking point, and now I recognize my limits and work to change my environment before then. This leads to him feeling like I don't 'try as hard', but he knows I do try and that this change is good for my mental health, it's just hard to adjust.

I haven't had much occasion to use it elsewhere.

 

[Judge]

My areas of weakness ( or lack of NT strengths ) have directed me to quiet corners or even canyon-like labyrinths. I agree with that some might do great things in the World At Large while due to differences in individuality others of us navigate off the grid or at least minimize as much as possible the NTworlds. I have wonder and respect for all of us.

Well stated. I'd just a go step further and say that however we choose to optimize our existence, it's all about what works for us individually. Not how it shapes up to appear in the NT- or even the Aspie world at large.

Don't ever feel diminished over whatever truly works for you.

 

[On the Inside]

On playing the Aspie Card as part of taking personal responsibility, self-disclosure when it could help is good self-stewardship. We are our own best advocates, a role we don't always fill to our best potential for fear of judgment -- though it's important to acknowledge that there can be times when we may not feel able, for one reason or another.

This paragraph sums up the value of this thread for me.

I am in a long and arduous process of sorting out what works and what doesn't for me, a big part of that is recognizing and internalizing that I don't have to do everything, and it is alright to say "I can't, I won't", even "I don't want to". My old attitude does not come from being a control freak, it came from feeling very unsupported in my youth, and I internalized that if I wanted something, or wanted to do something outside the basics, it was all up to me, my family wasn't going to step up in any way, and I wanted things that were far outside the family norms. As I became an adult, it slowly became less about what I wanted to do, and more about what I needed to do, and I still was unable to ask for help and recognize the limits of what I would and could do. This has resulted in a profound lack of good stewardship on many fronts. So learning when to pull out the Aspie card, even if only metaphorically or silently to myself, is going to be essential, clearing the way for me to do what I need and want to do and ask for help when I need it.

I was a better advocate for myself when I was younger. I had a single minded drive for things that turned me on. I could ignore the loudest alarms that there were other things that needed attention if I was focused on an interest. But I still felt I needed to do everything myself, I didn't seem to be able to get other people involved. How do you communicate a less than half formed vision when you have a hard time asking for basic help?

 

[Flinty]

If you need to play the aspie card during Magic: The Gathering, now you can!

I'm still not sure about the mana cost. It feels reasonable. I also need to find the name of the artist.
I was going to go for a picture of a contemplative mystic in some kind of hermetic force field, or perhaps floating in exile, but I couldn't find such an image. You would not believe how much bad New Age art I waded through before giving up and settling on the painting you see here.

Needs more defender. Should probably be a 0/3 instead of a 1/1. (And we'll work on the templating later. )

 

[Datura]

Needs more defender. Should probably be a 0/3 instead of a 1/1. (And we'll work on the templating later. )

I like your suggestion. We should continue this conversation elsewhere.

 

[watersprite]

On the Inside this question or quest (?) greatly intrigues me. Could you elaborate here or in another place?
"How do you communicate a less than half formed vision when you have a hard time asking for basic help?"

 

[Spiller]

I'm virtually unable to ask anyone for anything and have always fought on alone, though I've been forcing myself to do so recently as I realise it's part of socialising, interacting with the group/community - asking for and offering help.. also, I realise, as you say, On the Inside, it's more about needs as I get older and have more responsibilities; my son may need understanding at school; I need assistance with mental health.
Makes me cringe inside though.
Communicating a less than half-formed vision seems, to me, to be as much about sharing time and ideas with others as it does about getting something done - quite a conflict when you have an obsessive interest in the result, I'd think. I'd also find this difficult without the experience of asking/sharing.. maybe that's why help is not generally forthcoming, who knows..

 

[Mira]

The only time I have ever played my "Aspie Card" was with two roommates I recently had. It was interesting because the problem was completely their fault. I have had more roommates than I can count and these two were the only ones that I ever had trouble with. If I did or said something they didn't like, they never told me. They just kept quiet and then got madder and madder when my behavior didn't change. That isn't an Asperger's thing, that is an idiot thing. When they finally lost it and started yelling at me for some pretty ridiculous stuff I told them I had Asperger's and pretended it was just a simple misunderstanding. I knew that trying to explain that the problem was because they never said anything wasn't going to get anywhere and they were both moving soon anyway. All of my other roommates had mentioned if something was bothering them and we worked it out like adults do.

 

[nyxjord]

Not ever. I'm fact I think doing that hurts those of us who don't because then people think we are just using it as an excuse. Not in all cases, mind you but that's why I am very very very very hesitant to play that card. I'd rather just leave a situation or whatever without explanation than play the card.

 

[Tom]

I must have the wrong deck. Mine just has sea creatures.

 

[NiceCupOfTea]

I still have no idea what playing the Aspie card actually means, other than a lot of obviously highly articulate people seem to use it. I suspect I'm a bit thick to get much potential out of it.

 

[On the Inside]

I think it can mean saying "I'm an Aspie" to get a break on something, get some understanding or sympathy, or accepting that you have difficulties with certain things, then doing what you can to do what you need to do.

I prefer the latter. But it may require asking for help, continuing to plod along working it out yourself, or admitting that there are things that you're just not able to do.

 

[Ylva]

I worked at a bookstore the summer '12, and I played the "I'm new here" card throughout the three months. I'd do it again, no matter how obvious it was that the customer knew I'd worked there for ten weeks already.

I've never played the "aspie card" by saying "I'm aspie" implying that I should ve exempt from anything because of it. My mother used to accuse me of playing it every time I got overloaded or melty, but she has stopped now. Maybe she realized that shouting "So you should just get away with zoning out because you have Aspergers?!" wasn't helping.

 

[On the Inside]

I've never played the "aspie card" by saying "I'm aspie" implying that I should ve exempt from anything because of it. My mother used to accuse me of playing it every time I got overloaded or melty, but she has stopped now. Maybe she realized that shouting "So you should just get away with zoning out because you have Aspergers?!" wasn't helping.

Maybe that's it, it is something we are accused of using and thus we internalize it. I guess if I think about it I bristle at the use of the "____" card statement for anything, because it implies the dishonest use of a real or imagined disability, status or vulnerability. When it is used against someone, like your example, it is showing that person is resentful.

 

[Nacho]

OtI, yes that would be me, loud proud, strong and without a care of what others think. Why would I, I am who I am, no apologies, not ever. The thin skinned can toughen up, or grow a sack.

Love what you just said