Perspective...

[DogwoodTree]

When you're feeling like you don't fit in, like you're not part of what's going on, how do you see yourself? Are you on the outside looking in, while everyone else is in the "in group"? Or are you locked inside your own bubble, watching everyone else living their lives outside of your cage?

I've seen both perspectives referenced, and was curious if one perspective is more common than the other, if it tends to be the same all the time for each person or if it fluctuates, or if there might be a pattern that would give more insight?

Why do you think you have the perspective that you do? Did you see a scene in a movie or read a book that gave you that idea? Or has it just always been that way? Do you see a pattern for when you have one perspective vs. the other?

 

[Flinty]

I am the outsider (see also Poulain, Amélie). Trust me, I was made to know that.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Felt like an outsider today, sitting in a circle with some other adults as we introduced ourselves. Not even a table, just chairs. I hate answering questions about where I grew up and so on, so I just talk about what I do for a living. Someone else can have the meltdown when they trip over themselves (and did, poor guy).

Conversations with overeager strangers are unreliable places to be.

 

[James K Trefethen]

Hmmm. I think it takes a while for children to become aware of other people around them and understand that they aren't the center of the universe. My sense is that you experience it, first and later (if ever) understand how it makes you different.

 

[Harrison]

I see myself as being on the outside, a passive observer.

 

[Sarsaparilla]

I had to think about this, and in the end I answered 'both'. I am mostly on the outside, but sometimes I feel I am in my own little bubble. Being on the inside is more comfortable as I don't care so much about othere people's lives or being excluded when I am in that state, whereas I find the outside a painful place to be.

 

[Suzanne]

I am an outsider and the times I am not, it is because amazingly I am included and then to a certain extent I am looking at myself and marveling that I am in the situation that I am all too often the outsider, which panics me a lot.

I wish I could look on and view people with interest and just be content to be an observer, but sadly, I am not like that.

How I put it: Even in a room full with people, I can feel utterly alone!

 

[Progster]

On the outside looking in groups, but I live in my own world in my head as well... I think that my tendecy to live in my head is a consequence of feeling locked out of conversations and not able to participate.

 

[Ellylldan]

In most of situations I am outside, observing mysterious human beings in their natural habitat.

I have also my own world that I created many years ago. Yes, maybe I was forced to create it being excluded by others but I have to say that I am there by my own choice. So, by no means I'm trapped there.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Well this is enlightening. Most of the comments here refer to feeling like you're on the outside looking in. I feel like I'm trapped inside my own head and can't get out to where everyone else is. Like this...

 

[Robby]

I always feel like the outsider, sometimes it's lonely but others I kind of like being alone with my thoughts I sort of go deep in my own head and world and run with it.

 

[JDartistic]

Neither. I get lost in my own day dreams & fantasize about being someplace else. I think that puts me somewhere, but not in or out...just not there.

 

[Sully]

Sometimes I feel like I'm observing people up close as if they were fish in an aquarium.

 

[Judge]

Simple. In my entire life I've never felt absolutely 100% at ease or comfortable with much of anyone. There's always some kind of "remainder" present, to make me feel anywhere from slightly to overwhelmingly "alien" to my own species. So I'm always on the outside looking in.

 

[Aspieistj]

I am always on the outside, looking in. I also feel angry because so few people ever try to include me--they simply decide I am weird and they can't be bothered to try to help me. I live for the day when understanding Autism is better understood by the general public. I do think that day will come, but probably not in my lifetime (almost 71). So, here I sit, an alien in a hostile environment.

 

[Spiller]

Trapped outside, looking in and unable to do more than pass as human.. everywhere I look is alien to me.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'm watching people from inside my own bubble.

Even when I can mingle, I'm not really there. A lot of me has to get tucked and packed away because people are so fragile and easily spooked that by the time I can tiptoe enough not to frighten them, I'm not really there at all.