Personal space

[Alan tm]

This may sound horrible, I've always had space issues hugs , people sitting too close .

Today I sat down to tie my shoelaces on the sofa next to my mother .
It's the closest I've been to her in , I can't even remember. It's beyond memory.

I felt the accidental intensity and moved , I hope she didn't notice .

She recently got 2 puppy dogs . People joked and said maybe she got something that will reciprocate
Emotions . I laughed with them but I think it was a slightly cutting remark and it has been said more than
Once now.

There is a slight guilt about it but I'm the same with everyone so I don't see it as being offensive to a person in particular.
It is what it is

 

[onlything]

This may sound horrible, I've always had space issues hugs , people sitting too close .

Today I sat down to tie my shoelaces on the sofa next to my mother .
It's the closest I've been to her in , I can't even remember. It's beyond memory.

I felt the accidental intensity and moved , I hope she didn't notice .

She recently got 2 puppy dogs . People joked and said maybe she got something that will reciprocate
Emotions . I laughed with them but I think it was a slightly cutting remark and it has been said more than
Once now.

There is a slight guilt about it but I'm the same with everyone so I don't see it as being offensive to a person in particular.
It is what it is

You can't do anything with this. It's just you. From what I know, Temple Grandin had a similar problem, she even created the hugging machine because she was never able to hug anyone in her life.

If you want to try to make your mum feel less hurt - because even with understanding of your problems, there will still be that hurt - you can try to make yourself a bit more comfortable. Start slowly. Sit closer. Then closer. It will happen on its own.

Of course, it's not as easy and if it's too much for you, it's okay. You don't have any responsibility of forcing yourself to contact physically with anyone.

 

[OkRad]

THis is a HUGE pet peeve. OMGOSH WHY do people have to get so close. I was at the gym. There were 30 treadmills. I am on the one on the FAR right end. This lady, out of all of them, where does she go? RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

I moved.

Then, I park in the early morning in a lot. I park right next to the handicap spot because no matter HOW MANY free spaces there are?? You guessed it. Always someone parks right next to me.

Today in the supermarket, people who just too close. I wanted to scream GET!!!!

I don't ask for a lot of space. Just enough to stretch out my arms and not smell you and stuff. I am not mean about it. But I Definitely as Dung don't want people I don't know close to me.

I even do this to my family, too, but it is not so bad because i love them and they love me. It's these random people . I even know a lady who likes to touch my arm when she talks----like peck peck peck. I put up with it because she is so kind and I don't want to think I am the centre of the world, or that I can't fight these issues--

But those people who come into my space who do not even know me? I really do not understand. I would TERRIFIED to get into someones' space like that. WHY DO THEY DO IT????

 

[onlything]

THis is a HUGE pet peeve. OMGOSH WHY do people have to get so close. I was at the gym. There were 30 treadmills. I am on the one on the FAR right end. This lady, out of all of them, where does she go? RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

I moved.

Then, I park in the early morning in a lot. I park right next to the handicap spot because no matter HOW MANY free spaces there are?? You guessed it. Always someone parks right next to me.

Today in the supermarket, people who just too close. I wanted to scream GET!!!!

I don't ask for a lot of space. Just enough to stretch out my arms and not smell you and stuff. I am not mean about it. But I Definitely as Dung don't want people I don't know close to me.

I even do this to my family, too, but it is not so bad because i love them and they love me. It's these random people . I even know a lady who likes to touch my arm when she talks----like peck peck peck. I put up with it because she is so kind and I don't want to think I am the centre of the world, or that I can't fight these issues--

But those people who come into my space who do not even know me? I really do not understand. I would TERRIFIED to get into someones' space like that. WHY DO THEY DO IT????

And these people that think that one meeting makes them our friends.
The head patting. I'm not a dog but I can bite you if you make me.
The touching of arms. Excuse me, do I look like a touchpad to you? Interaction aborted.
The hugging. Hangers are down the corridor.
The poking. If you want to poke something, poke out your eye.
The kissing, especially, no offence, Italians. If I wanted to get sick due to bacterial/virus infection, I would have gone to a pediatric ward.
The groping. Are you so hungry? Meet my knuckle sandwich.

Please, leave and don't come near me again.

 

[OkRad]

And these people that think that one meeting makes them our friends.
The head patting. I'm not a dog but I can bite you if you make me.
The touching of arms. Excuse me, do I look like a touchpad to you? Interaction aborted.
The hugging. Hangers are down the corridor.
The poking. If you want to poke something, poke out your eye.
The kissing, especially, no offence, Italians. If I wanted to get sick due to bacterial/virus infection, I would have gone to a pediatric ward.
The groping. Are you so hungry? Meet my knuckle sandwich.

Please, leave and don't come near me again.

Haha!!! Do I look like a touchpad to you?? You know, it's the people who do not even know you at all that make me so infuriated!! Never saw you in my life and you are poking me??

 

[Alan tm]

With distance and family, I can only remember it being remarked on once about 15 years ago. Quite amazing really

 

[xudo]

I don't like sitting too close to most people. I will mostly grin and bear it, but I do tend to sort of lean away from them. Hugs I'm not a fan of except with a very small number of people.

 

[dragoncat16]

I don't mind being touched by people I know, if I'm prepared for it. Otherwise I tend to flinch involuntarily and I then have to try to disguise my sudden movement as something else. I hate it when people sit beside me on the bus or impinge on my space on a plane, or just plain occupy my space in general. I have to consciously calm myself down when that happens by telling myself it's only a temporary thing and it'll be over soon.

It's not your job to serve as someone else's emotional support, and you are the one who should be offended at the jokes people make. NTs are supposed to be so in tune with the feelings of others, but the truth is that they are only sensitive to each other's feelings, and the feelings of those they see as different don't matter.

 

[Gracey]

Dogs I train to work close to me in certain exercises but still like a respectful distance at times.

Cats can climb all over me if this is their want.

Humans, the further away the better.

There are too many people on the planet for me to be the only one they need to hug.
Find someone else to hug, there are millions to choose from.

 

[Sherlock77]

Yup... I don't like being squished into tight seats, I will do it if I "have to" but would rather not... But I live in a large city so there are times when it's inevitable, and I do enjoy the urban setting of downtown for my photography...

Hugs? I think I've said it before, not a big fan, even some of my male friends will hug me sometimes and I'm cringing inside, it's rude to turn a hug down I guess... With a good female friend, whenever our outing is over and I drop her off at her place I always hug her, more for her than for me...

 

[Sid Delicious]

I have had to force myself to get used to this over the years, as some of my family are incredibly sociable and huggy people. I would get really irritated as a child if someone wanted to pick me up or hug me, but these days I can deal with it if a person grabs me and I know their intentions are good. I'm still fairly petite sized compared to other people I know, so I tend to get treated like a doll at times. Especially if I go along to rugby clubs or military stuff with family (everyone there tends to be a giant)! I know hugging is a form of social bonding and those who do it mean well, so I tolerate it. But if I had my way, I would only ever hug animals or a partner I was very close to. I just have a wider 'personal space area' than most, so need to trust someone a lot before it feels okay.

How do people deal with workplace hugging? I've tried to pay attention to how different individuals behave at certain events, and I never know whether I'm supposed to hug people when it's a big event (weddings, babies, etc) or someone is leaving the team. I tend not to initiate hugs, but at the same time I've been in awkward situations where people have later told me I should have been more affectionate.

 

[Flinty]

I have a saying - most people are in my personal space just by existing.

 

[Skids]

I hate the people who stand behind you in a queue. Right behind you so that you can almost feel their breath in your ear and even worse when there isn't anyone behind that person. There's no need for it and i find it odd behaviour. It's like they are pushing you psychologically to go forward quicker when you have no way of doing so as you have to wait for the person ahead of you to get served first.

Also i cannot enjoy any event such as a football match, live comedian, cinema etc if i am sat next to someone. I can tolerate it if the event is a sell out and there really is no other option but even then i always seem to get the people who fidget incessantly, fiddle with bags or keep getting up every two minutes to either go to the toilet or shout things (football) and even worse than that i always seem to get the ones who feel the need to engage me in conversation! Arrrrgggggh!! I never get the quiet old man who sits their minding his own business.

I can't stand being close to other people's tables when eating out either. I have to be in a corner out of the way with plenty of room between me and the other diners. Otherwise everyone can hear your conversations and i feel ultra uncomfortable.

I also greatly dislike travelling on public transport. I'd rather stand up at the end of the train even for hours on end than be sat next to people yapping about stuff on their phones and tapping away endlessly and making noise. I went on a heritage railway last summer whilst on holiday as i thought it would be a nice relaxing and different thing to do and we got sat adjacent to an middle aged couple so we thought no problems here.

Then the man whipped his phone out and they both started watching videos on it with the sound at full blast! Wound me right up! I could not comprehend how stupid two human beings could be at that point.

I eventually lost it and said, "Look mate. You've got 3 options...............

1. The volume button

2. Earphones

3. I kick you off at next stop"


I hate confrontations and arguments and generally just meltdown when they happen leaving the other person a bit confused but this time i was surprised at just how succinct and precise my delivery of the terms and conditions were.