Perpetual Adolescence

[BK201]

I was once financially independent (for a short while) but not anymore. I'm on disability; basically, I'm retired. I live with my parents and they're taking care of me because I wouldn't be able to navigate the current complexities of my life on my own.

 

[Major Tom]

I've been fully independent since I was 16. I left home and continued school and worked (at first part time). I lived with a girlfriend and we split the bills, so not sure if that's what you'd call fully independent.
Mainly, I think for me it was getting out of the house and being forced to make money to survive, was what lead me to my independence.
As of now both my wife and I work, because here in Japan it's almost impossible for one person to be the sole bread-winner of a household. Perhaps if I had a better education I could, but it's far too late for that.
Anyways, if you want to become independent, get out of your parents house. This will force you into either independence, or homelessness, either one is preferable to me than living under the same roof as my psychotic parents.

 

[owlet]

I've been financially independent in the past (although I always chose to live with my mum because we get on very well), but at the moment I've ended up with a bunch of health issues which make working difficult. I'm currently using a support service to get into a job I can manage to do while also looking at possible treatment options to improve my health. Other than work, I can live very easily on my own and have lived abroad in the past, which I loved (and I wish I could find a place that was as cheap and convenient as that apartment in Japan was). I have been told I have a lot of 'young' interests, I guess, like enjoying video games and board games, but I don't really think much of certain hobbies being for young or old people.

 

[WildCat]

I would say partially independent. Let's see...I work a full time job, handle what bills and obligations I do have, take care of my own needs (though I do get lazy with certain things that I shouldn't be lazy with ) and can just about fend for myself (within reason). I understand that not everyone has the same concept of "independence" and "maturity", but as it stands right now I think I'm doing just fine.

Still living at home right now after all these years though so by that mark I'm not truly independent (make of that what you want). I do make enough pay though to move out and handle my own business, which I plan on doing pretty soon. Something that I should have done a long time ago, but that's a story for another time...

 

[Sabrina]

I have never been economically independent, nor I predict I will ever be. It doesn’t mean I’m in perpetual adolescence .

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I have never been economically independent, nor I predict I will ever be. It doesn’t mean I’m in perpetual adolescence .

I realized soon after posting that the title could potentially be offensive. I tried editing it, but didn't find a way to do that. The thread was only prompted by that article about perpetual adolescence, it wasn't about perpetual adolescence.

 

[Judge]

I have never been economically independent, nor I predict I will ever be. It doesn’t mean I’m in perpetual adolescence .

Good point.

For me this equation always contained a certain amount of circumstances beyond my control.

It happens. For some, much more than others.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Somebody please rate one of my posts! I can't stand looking at my current karma number!

 

[Progster]

To those of you who are, financially speaking, fully independent — whether age 18 or 98 — what did it take for you to reach that life stage?

Although I am financially independent, I'm not nearly as successful or well-off as most of my peers at my age with my level of education. It's been a very rocky road - I've struggled with jobs, lost jobs, burned/crashed out and generally not enjoyed much financial security - it has always been about surviving, just managing to keep my head above water. I'm like the proverbial phoenix, rising from my own ashes, again and again.

 

[Mathalamus]

Although I am financially independent, I'm not nearly as successful or well-off as most of my peers at my age with my level of education. It's been a very rocky road - I've struggled with jobs, lost jobs, burned/crashed out and generally not enjoyed much financial security - it has always been about surviving, just managing to keep my head above water. I'm like the proverbial phoenix, rising from my own ashes, again and again.

that sounds incredibly stressful. mere survivalism is detrimental to overall growth. i do hope you'll move past just surviving.

 

[Chance]

Survival has been mentioned quite a bit... I was 14 and working 3 part time jobs...
At 16 I bought my first nearly new truck when I got my drivers license... All on my own.

I didn't have much to fall back on so I had to grow up fast, but still had kind people who watched over me and made sure I had a place to stay and call home.

I have done reasonably well with my life (with lots of failures and struggling also)...
I'm not sure that I ever matured like others do... I can be a serious business guy and still be a kid at heart at the same time...

Otherwise I think I would have turned into a heartless jerk... I saw plenty of that growing up, I just never wanted to be like that I guess. : )

 

[onlything]

I had to leave my parents' house or I would loose my mind. Not regretting it for a second. Not safer but quieter, calmer and at last possible to sort the past things out.

And, well, get to know and accept myself.

 

[Fitzo]

I've worked very hard in order to be independent but I think the motivation and opportunity is not the same for everyone. First my family had a very strong work ethic which they drummed into me every day of my life. Second my home life totally sucked so I couldn't wait to leave from about 12 years of age. I left home at 18 and had to work two jobs in order to survive. Third, I think it was a lot easier to achieve financial security in those days. It's much harder for young people to get jobs, buy a house and save money today than it was thirty or forty years ago. And then there is ability. Not everyone has the same skills, talents, health (good or bad) and opportunities. I've had my difficulties, but I was pretty fortunate in many ways. I've just made the most of what I had. I think that's all anyone can do.

Oh, and yes I'm still a perpetual adolescent in some ways and I'm not planning to change anytime soon

 

[Bolletje]

I've been fully financially independent for two months now. It took a lot of hard work and perseverance. A lot of breaking down and picking up the pieces to rebuild.
Working ****** jobs to collect the tuition for med school.
Getting over my pride and asking my parents to sponsor me through my last few months in med school, because I didn't have any time left to work. Getting over my pride and having my boyfriend be the sole breadwinner while I focused on graduation. Being too broke to afford any luxuries for four years. But now I am finally truly independent, at 31.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Being too broke to afford any luxuries for four years

Been there. I still try and keep my spending at that level.
Beware of lifestyle inflation

 

[abby normal]

if it weren't for an inheritance and a bit o'luck, i'd likely be living under a bridge long ago and would have voluntarily expired from exposure. as it is I live in "genteel poverty" and scrimp and save what I can, and avoid spending money if I can avoid it. aside from a few years of Medicaid, I have not collected public welfare. I do not begrudge those who do, as they need it.

 

[the_tortoise]

I am currently on disability benefits because I have never been able to sustain financial independence through employment. (I have been financially independent for periods of time, just not continuously / long-term...and before anyone decides I'm lazy/inexperienced, I have been working for pay from friends, neighbours and relatives since I was 9 years old, tried to get my first regular job when I was 10 or 11 -- was told I was too young, knowing nothing of child labor laws I took it as a combination of agism and a personal insult -- actually got my first regular job at 15, had many more after that...I worked at more jobs in a two year period of my life than the average person works at their entire life. I still want to work, and would much prefer my income to be from employment than from benefits.)

Realistically, I'm not sure I will ever be financially independent. It would require a number of things.....in broad strokes:

A fairly particular and very stable home environment and routine to add in as many compensatory things as possible for my sensory issues and severe executive dysfunction.

Suitable employment with (I think minimal) accomodations or self-employment, that provided a high enough income that I could support myself working part-time hours (exactly how many hours I don't know, it would depend on certain specifics of the job -- first among them would be commute and outside-of-work preparation time).....Or a full-time job (self-employment or suitable employment with accomodations) that paid so much I could hire people to look after virtually all of my adult responsibilities except for working -- because I literally cannot manage both, there are not enough hours in each day.....and that is before considering mental well-being -- that is not including things like leisure time or time to recharge/cope with stress.

I find the suggestion that I am stuck in some kind of perpetual adolescence to be extremely offensive.

I am in the 25-34 age range but have not voted in your poll, partly because I fit both options and partly because of my disagreement with the definitions of adulthood and independence that are being used.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

@the_tortoise, read the entire thread, especially my reply to @Sabrina, and you'll understand that I wasn't suggesting that anyone here is stuck in some kind of perpetual adolescence.

 

[Crossbreed]

To those of you who are, financially speaking, fully independent — whether age 18 or 98 — what did it take for you to reach that life stage?

I am financially independent in the sense that I can manage it properly, once I get it. SSDI is a pension based on my work history (albeit spotty), so I consider it earned income.

Prior to getting SSDI, my work history was spotty as a consequence of my unrecognized social disability, so I had to rely heavily on government supplemental income.

• By one standard, you could say I wasn't financially independent at those times.
• OTOH, if my disability would have been acknowledged sooner, I would have been awarded an earned SSDI sooner (and not been an undue burden on the other system).

 

[the_tortoise]

@the_tortoise, read the entire thread, especially my reply to @Sabrina, and you'll understand that I wasn't suggesting that anyone here is stuck in some kind of perpetual adolescence.

I'm sorry, I had only skimmed and didn't see that.

I am confused, though, because you did say:

[...]I would rather focus this thread on what I consider to be the bare minimum criterium for full entry into adulthood, which I will put forth as total financial independence.

I believe you when you say that you didn't mean to suggest that I or anybody else is stuck in perpetual adolescence, but I interpret this comment as suggesting something else along similar lines (e.g. not a "real" or "fully-fledged" adult)...... so I am confused.