Permanent damage?

[OkRad]

I apologize for being naïve, but can you explain more about why you are not capable of having a relationship? Do you get too attached, are you detached?

This situation has made me realize that I no longer plan on pursuing a romantic relationship in the future with anyone, because while being in love feels great (the two times its happened in 20 years), the pain of the loss is far too much to deal with.

Sure. Hi again. Well, that is one. The pain is WAY more than the pleasure, but it is also all the troubles my neurodivesity brings. This is terrible OCD, generalized anxeity disorder, not wnting to be touched, rigid schedule, not understanding people, not able to work........should I go on? OK.

Terrible PTSD, a head injury, a lot of physcical troubles such as troubles from an accident as well as disgestion issues and not able to eat...........still want me to go on? OK.......can't trust men after being abused (once when young, another in domesstic), very odd and immature, thinking like a 12 year old , develeopmental disabilties.......

There is more but I am about worn out with the list. And I am getting old on top of it all.

The good part is that I LOVE my special interests and my family and have a family that loves me. I like to read and always try to be nice to people and I have not made any enemies for 25 years! Hahaha! I like people and no one would ever guess all that stuff up there. I like people and hold my ffrustrations inside and keep doing my speical interests and reaching out and trying to hepl where I can.

 

[Why is that]

I just wanted to give an update to where I am in my quest for greater understanding. I have been talking with a knowledgeable member of this community who has given me greater insight into my ex and my lack of understanding of him.

My aspie ex is unique in who he is, he is an aspie who is an individual who is smart, complex and true to who he is. He is loyal and showed his caring through actions and I missed much of that because I focused on his words.

No one can tell me what he will do because he has a complex mind, some people will come back, others won't. He is misunderstood and I believe he suffers in relationships because of it. I love him and I hope that was enough. I pushed him to tell me how he felt about me, when all along he showed me. The most beautiful moments we had together were of him resting his head in my lap, and it was the safest feeling.

I hope my aspie finds peace in who he is because he is a diamond in the rough.

 

[Samantha mcbay]

I don't think aspergers should date aspergers, at least from my perspective, because neither provide the other with the needs they both have. I can't express my self well, tell people what I'm feeling or physically show empathy and love, but that doesn't mean I don't want it or need it. It's just that my own emotions and senses overwhelme me and i can't express them verbally or physically. Not all the time, sometimes i can, but the more pressure there is in what ever is situation the more overwhelmed i feel and for me my response is to get as far away as possible.