"People have it worse than you."

[wight]

Why is it a contest?

I don't know. But that sure seems to be the way a lot of people see it. I'm not sure if this is a "human thing" or an "American culture thing". Maybe some of our international folks can weigh in on that part?

 

[Katleya]

I don't know. But that sure seems to be the way a lot of people see it. I'm not sure if this is a "human thing" or an "American culture thing". Maybe some of our international folks can weigh in on that part?

Definitely not an American culture thing, or at least not limited to American culture.
I'd be leaning towards a "narrow-minded people thing" rather than human thing, though.
It also seems that there is an unknown rules on things that are worthy of compassion, things that would be worthy of compassion but are too horrible for people to agree to hearing about it without blaming the victims, and things that get no compassion whatsoever in spite of being totally worthy of it.

I remember sitting through lunch stuck with some coworkers and managers years ago, and one of the managers was talking about this seminar they had (some weird teambuilding thing). At some point, they were asked to share their worse experience. And apparently some lady mentioned that she was abused, but there was that female manager talking about how messed up it was of that lady to talk about abuse and totally kill the mood. I mean, she really just followed the instructions... but that was the same place where I had been forced to be friendly to another intern, 8 years younger than I was, who insisted to my face that I had no idea how awful it was that she had to eat ice cream and mashed potatoes for several days after her wisdom teeth were pulled out (hard to keep a straight face when I had gone through much worse medically). First world problems at their finest.

 

[Sabrina]

I learned later in life that a feeling exists, whether you like it or not, whether it’s socially acceptable, or not. You cannot order someone how to feel, not even your own self.