1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Parents Seem a Bit Too Strict

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Sapphire K, Mar 6, 2021.

  1. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Pansexual Enby! (they/them) V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,238
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,068
    I think my dad disabled Reddit. It isn't working properly for me. Usually, he would use OpenDNS. BUT if he did, Discord wouldn't be working, as well. The site itself loads, but when I try to sign in, it does not work. I don't know why my parents are so against me using Reddit tho. I only use it for memes as well as gaming (I even have a total of 5 Monster Hunter memes I want to share on r/MemeHunter) and LGBT stuff. I don't go anywhere near NSFW subs or say anything inappropriate. I always follow the rules on the subreddits, as well, and I don't even swear on any comments I make even if a sub has no rules against swearing. I'm almost 18. I am mature enough to be on Reddit, considering it is a 13+ site to begin with.

    One day, a few years ago, they decided to randomly ban me from using it and deleted one of my old accounts. They didn't delete the account I have now (so my mere 40 karma is safe), but it is clear that Dad did something that made it not work. He asked to use the computer I am using RN right as I tried to get on it today, saying, "I need to do something first." Despite him planning on using the desktop anyways (I use a shared laptop the most often so I can be in the living room where it is a bit more comfy to sit).

    I am perfectly capable of using social media without guidance. Hell, I even have my own a Discord server, as well. I also know to report to moderators if somebody is breaking the rules, as well for sites I do not own (I am pretty sure I reported a user on here before to this site's admin, as well).

    The fact that they are not letting me use Reddit, of all things, is annoying. Ironically, they let me watch Reddit videos. But they do not let me use Reddit itself.

    The fact that Reddit stopped working AFTER my dad stopped using the laptop is also a very obvious clue to me that he disabled it in some way. It was like he was expecting me NOT to notice.

    I would like to add that they also are completely fine with me viewing meme content as well as (SFW) LGBTQ+ content and most gaming content.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Pansexual Enby! (they/them) V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,238
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,068
    My parents also don't allow me to connect to the internet with my 3DS. YouTube is no longer supported on the 3DS, and I'd only be googling info on games with the web browser, anyways because Nintendo didn't bother making a web browser that actually functions well.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Pansexual Enby! (they/them) V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,238
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,068
    Wait. Nevermind. Reddit works now. I think he didn't actually do anything, and maybe Reddit was just down for maintenance or something.

    Point still stands tho.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,829
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +10,273
    If he didn't disable reddit, what point still stands and how?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
  5. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,602
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2019
    Karma:
    +2,055
    There are a lot of really bad ideas floating around the internet. And a young, inexperienced person can easily fall prey to believing these things. It's best to reign yourself in while you're young, so you can get a look at how the world really works, so the perverse and crooked don't alter your world view.

    If your parents took away your ability to look at a website, I say good. I would even go so far as to say your computer should be taken away at bedtime. I would even go further to say that in my opinion, people under 18 shouldn't be on this site at all.

    You may not agree with me right now, but in 10-20 years you will understand. In my opinion, your internet usage should be monitored remotely 24/7, and you should only be allowed to use flip phones with no wifi capability. If you were my son, you would only use social media, etc if you asked for the laptop, but otherwise, computers are for school and research.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2021
  6. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Pansexual Enby! (they/them) V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,238
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,068
    I disagree. I don't think you should monitor your kids that much. Especially teenagers. I am smart enough to know what parts of the internet to go to and what parts not to. Monitoring your teens that strictly insults their intelligence.
     
  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    25,315
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +33,188
    Frankly I'd think your parents should be aware of both your technical prowess and your age. Making it pointless for them to attempt to use technology to censor whatever information you are accessing. In an era when it's quite conceivable that the kids more far more than their parents when it comes to consumer technology. :oops:

    I still recall at 15 that I discovered my father rifled through my personal belongings. Looking for drugs that were never there. Perhaps it was just a sign of the times. Still it pissed me off.

    Yet even while being raised in a strict military household, at the age of 16 my parents pretty much acknowledged that I was entitled to a greater degree of independence, especially given being only shy of two years to legal adulthood. But on occasion they still managed to butt into my business even as a young adult. It's just what they do...for better or worse.

    Maybe my folks just "threw in the towel" a little earlier. :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2021
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. selena

    selena Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    65
    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +118
    Sigh. Parents who are still trying to exert so much control over their kids after they're in full-fledged teenhood really aren't doing them any favor. While it's true that some of us need more guidance than NTs, the whole point of raising kids is to let them grow into their own person, not be who you want them to be.

    Parents. You will not live forever. The sooner your kids make mistakes and learn how to solve problems by themselves, the better off they'll be.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. Exbrewer

    Exbrewer Member

    Messages:
    23
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2020
    Karma:
    +35
    Moving from child to adult is a gradual and a two way process. Parents are supposed to help and encourage their child to become independent at a rate the child can cope with. Sadly this doesn't often happen. There is no magical switch when any specific age is reached. All you can expect is the more the child behaves like an adult, the less likely they are to be treated like a child and vice versa.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  10. selena

    selena Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    65
    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +118
    Honestly, this assumes all parents are rational and are very intentional about parenting. But most people are parents either by accident or because it was expected of them, and will simply use their life experience (or lack thereof) as the basis of how to raise their kids. That's not to say most parents aren't doing the best that they know how, but implying all (or even just most) parents know what they're doing is wrong.

    I agree with the two-way street reference. Parents who are unreasonably strict with their kids can expect their kids to resent them when their kids are all grown up. Parents who are overly protective of their kids can expect their kids to be half-assed adults who don't function well on their own.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,875
    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Karma:
    +1,510
    Are your parents very tech savvy? You don't have your own computer at this point? I don't get the sense that you behave badly or have gotten into trouble at school- if you have, that would give your parents good reason to monitor your activity more. I hope they "let loose" more. They have to reasonably let you be responsible for your own actions and if you ruin those privileges, then it's okay for them to buckle down. If you haven't broken that sacred threshold, then they should let you grow on your own.

    I guess they could be afraid you'll ask a stranger to come to the house or some of those weird "one off" stories you see on Real life mystery documentaries and such.
     
  12. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    8,545
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +8,151
    I agree there is a lot of perversion in this world and children experience it at too young an age ,you cant unsee it ,but your parents can give you the healthiest life they can .
     
    • Like Like x 1