Over-bearing people constantly telling me what to do....

[Major Tom]

Basically, I keep them out of my life. Also, I never tell anyone anything deep or rarely how I really feel, this prevents overbearing people from getting any information they need to try and control me.

 

[Ylva]

I never tell anyone anything deep or rarely how I really feel, this prevents overbearing people from getting any information they need to try and control me.

Everyone thinks I am joking when I say that the question "how are you" is too personal.

 

[Aspychata]

Basically, I keep them out of my life. Also, I never tell anyone anything deep or rarely how I really feel, this prevents overbearing people from getting any information they need to try and control me.

l was taking a ballet class and this lady took it upon herself to tell me to come to the other class, but she was pushy in her delivery, she also decided to play faux therapist.....

 

[Major Tom]

Everyone thinks I am joking when I say that the question "how are you" is too personal.

I'll answer questions like that to an extent online, but usually in real life I say "I'm good" or something along those lines. No matter how I truly feel. No need to give anyone any extra ammunition. If you are standoffish about it when people ask, that also gives them some extra ammo. IMHO

 

[Aspychata]

l have a complete itinerary of people who tell me about my weight, my job, my clothes, my money, who to date, who to dump. l am thinking where did l land? When did a huge amount of strangers decided that l needed something?

 

[Major Tom]

l have a complete itinerary of people who tell me about my weight, my job, my clothes, my money, who to date, who to dump. l am thinking where did l land? When did a huge amount of strangers decided that l needed something?

I moved half way across the earth to get away from people like that. There's still my wife, but I can handle 1 overbearing person, just not 100.

 

[BraidedPony]

There isn’t any perfect way to handle it. If someone says something stupid like Get over it, I just say Oh, I gotta go! Bye!
It’s not like I’m never awkward anyway, so what the heck....
The last person that told me I should just get over a trauma will soon be my ex husband. Lol

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I am trying to develop the strategy of saying 'Thanks for your suggestions' and then just doing as I please. Easier said than done, though.

 

[Aspychata]

But l just want to ask these people
, whoa there carousel pony, what made you think l was part of the herd? l always think outside of the circle, box . l come up with my own plan based on my own self, not random input from trolls, oops, l mean caring intelligent life on planet earth.

 

[Mary Lyn]

I wanted to ask how long it's been - but it doesn't matter. Everyone has their own ways and time frame of dealing with things and no one, other than ourselves, understands what's going on in our heads. It's hard to know what to say to people who are dealing with this kind of issue and it's also hard to know what to say to people to get them off your back. I was proud of myself the other night because I'm one who finds it hard to stand up for myself. My sister had called and started talking about my brother, whom I'm trying to cut out of my life. I just politely said, "I don't want to talk about him" and it stopped.
I don't know how long you were in the relationship or just how bad it was, but you have a lot to process. Finding yourself again. Getting over the hurt. Learning to trust. Just learning how to go about your day to day life. And all those things are personal issues. So you can do the 'evasive maneuvers' like @Tom suggested , you can nod your head and go on your merry way, like @Bolletje mentioned or get snippy. You can do like @Sarah S mentioned and say you're fine. You can make a badge to wear saying you are not accepting unwanted advice. Whatever way you choose to handle it, we support you. None of us want or appreciate people trying to tell us what they think we need to do. I realize they have your best interest in mind and I'm sure you know that, too, or it wouldn't have been a question about what to do. Easiest thing is to say okay and then do your own thing.
But I do hope you are able to move on in your life, an abusive spouse is not worth taking away your future, too.

Excellent post pats.

 

[Progster]

I resent random strangers coming up and telling me what to do. This is passive-aggressive behaviour and I get angry and don't handle it well - I can get very snappy with them. I try to ignore them and carry on doing my own thing, or if they are being intrusive or insist, I tell them to mind their own business.

 

[oregano]

I simply say "thank you" and immediately remove myself from their presence. I've had this situation come up several times when I went into small shops looking for something specific and then get yelled at because it really wasn't to the guy's liking to sell what I wanted to buy, and he suddenly starts demanding that I buy something similar that is far more expensive and/or easier for him. I simply walk out and never go back. There's an electronics "junk store" near me that I used to patronize for years until they hired a guy who did the above to me. I hated to not go back, but I didn't want to face that jerk again. One really weird instance was when I was at Walmart and I got approached by some woman who wanted a donation for something and I ignored her, and she immediately started SCREAMING obscenities at me at the top of her lungs. I ran and locked myself in my car and drove off as fast as I could.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

I make a mental note that these people have no desire to help me and tell them to scram.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I resent random strangers coming up and telling me what to do. This is passive-aggressive behaviour and I get angry and don't handle it well - I can get very snappy with them. I try to ignore them and carry on doing my own thing, or if they are being intrusive or insist, I tell them to mind their own business.

How about if they say :

Smile. It may never happen.

 

[Progster]

How about if they say :

Smile. It may never happen.

Then I might just tell them to F*&% &##!!!!!

 

[Weezer]

I feel for you. I experience this quite frequently. I have come to realize that it is for their own self esteem and not for your benefit. If you find a way to make it stop please let me know. Social confrontation is something I avoid at all costs. However, agreeing with a fake smile and a nod is beyond exhausting. I think (wish I could say), "if you need to boost your self esteem, accomplish something and stop inserting yourself in to my accomplishments".