ksheehan88
:)
I like to know things, in all aspects of my life - uncertainty makes me very anxious. xx
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I started with this test:
https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com...pergers-syndrome-checklist-by-samantha-craft/
Geared towards females. Then I scored high on the RAADS-R test. Then I got a formal diagnosis.
I needed an official diagnosis because I am so well adapted no one believed me. However, the toll it was taking on my brain was making me a near-invalid.
I spoke and walked early, have totally normal eye contact and social interaction. However, I had no idea this was all "overclocking my processor" and pointing me towards a nervous breakdown.
I mentioned the possibility to a friend, who told me everyone has some autistic traits and she thinks its nothing at all, it made me worry that everyone will jsut think I'm being overdramatic or something.
Neurotypicals can have some autistic traits and behaviors. That much is certainly true.
However Neurodiverse people are apt to have many more such traits and behaviors. And in the case of Aspie females more well known traits and behaviors may be at a lesser amplitude...making it potentially much more difficult to detect. Keep reading here about others' traits and behaviors. You're likely to discover many more that you weren't even aware of.
As far as self-discovery and self-awareness of your own potential autism goes, just remember that above all it's what you think. Not what others think.
It is YOU who must come to terms with all of it. Not anyone else. It's neither a "badge of honor" or a fashion statement. Your neurology is simply who you are in terms of what your brain is hard-wired to tell you.
No I understand it isn't Judge. I've only asked said friend what she thought because I didn't want to go to the doctor and waste time, nor feel silly asking them to test me for no reason... Probably wasn't the smartest move though.
I needed an official diagnosis because I am so well adapted no one believed me. However, the toll it was taking on my brain was making me a near-invalid.
I spoke and walked early, have totally normal eye contact and social interaction. However, I had no idea this was all "overclocking my processor" and pointing me towards a nervous breakdown.
No I understand it isn't Judge. I've only asked said friend what she thought because I didn't want to go to the doctor and waste time, nor feel silly asking them to test me for no reason... Probably wasn't the smartest move though.
I know this wasn't directed at me, but that's my experience with a few people and I'm keeping my mouth shut. I'm getting a whole lot of, "well, I do ___ and ____ too" and that it's a waste of time to get assessed.
I could've written this. You're definitely not alone! My husband knows me better than anyone, yet there's still a ton of odd things he doesn't know that I'd be embarrassed to tell him.Its frustrating because only my other half sees everything... theres even things he doesn't see/know tbh.
I don't see what little friends I have enough for them to really KNOW me, and much of what I feel/think I keep to myself to avoid irritating them or pushing them away, so I guess I can understand why they might say "nah, you're not".
I second-guess myself so much, one minute I'm certain I should follow it up then I lose that certainty and wonder if its just all in my head.
I could've written this. You're definitely not alone! My husband knows me better than anyone, yet there's still a ton of odd things he doesn't know that I'd be embarrassed to tell him.
Also went through the checklist with my husband. It was funny, he read it then looked at me; 'I don't get it, none of these are like you.' Then I went through the entire list again, giving concrete examples. Then he nodded, finally.
Good idea. My therapist (not related to diagnosis ) asked why I thought I had AS and my mind went blank and I couldn't really think of much. I focused on the obvious social issues, but there was so much more I couldn't articulate. It's like hundreds of reasons were crowding around in my brain and creating a traffic jam and there was no way I could organize my thoughts. So yes, definitely bring a list!I think what I will do is print out my results along with the checklist and highlight the ones I feel are "me" to take with me to therapy.
If I don't have a list of things I need to say or something to show them my mind goes blank and I can't articulate what I needed to say and miss things.
WereBear, part of the reason I've felt unsure about the possibility of me being on the spectrum is because its not something anyone - including myself - has ever or would think of me.