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One of the hardest things in life

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Pats, Oct 1, 2019.

  1. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm sad because I'm having to watch a couple of my kids go through some very difficult stuff and I can't do anything about it. Sure, they know I'm here for them and they can talk to me and I'll be supportive and rooting for them, but I can't fix things to make it better.
     
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  2. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I sympathize, but you are not there to fix things for your children. You are there to help your children fix the problem themselves.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2019
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    At least you are there and can be there emotionally for them. Let's keep our fingers crossed that something good comes out of bad.
     
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  4. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    It is a hard thing to watch other people deal and know that they have to make their own choices. Even if you can’t intervene, you can be a listening ear. Whether they are making bad decisions or suffering from the bad decisions of others, they will benefit from someone listening and loving them without judging them.

    Also, so many things that people think are disastrous and the end of the world ... are not. Getting fired, losing a home, jail time, addiction, divorce, death in the family - they’re truly terrible experiences that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but life does go on afterward.
     
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  5. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I feel ya @Pats.

    It's like walking a very thin line sometimes.

    watching one of your own suffering, knowing there's nothing we can do but be there if they need us,
    can have us feel quite helpless.

    A well honed instinct is to 'make it better' for them.
    It's saddening when we can't.
     
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  6. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    only thought I can give you is !when my mother was completely ( and I mean completely )paralysed !she managed to communicate “why do you stay with me ?”I can barely dictate this message because of the feelings I get when I think of the words she said ,I couldn’t say it at the time ,can’t remember what I said ,it must’ve been so bad that I blocked it out ,what I would say now is I need to breathe
     
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  7. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    6C378F57-B95E-4552-B91F-81732DC3D3EC.jpeg
    The actual word right at the end is shalom, his peace is not just an absence of war ,it is complete wholeness.
     
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  8. Major Tom

    Major Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can relate.. Thinking about my son's future after we die breaks my heart. He will be lost and won't understand why we aren't there anymore.
     
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  9. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm so sorry you have to bear that thought. I can imagine how hard that is.
     
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  10. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I’ve heard my parents say much the same about my depressions. They want to do something to make me feel better and they have trouble dealing with the fact that there’s not a whole lot they can do for me, other than just be there to listen to me occasionally.
    They’re getting better at dealing with this, but I remember when I was first depressed my mom was so distressed by her inability to help me that my dad told me it would be better if I didn’t come around anymore until I was doing better.
     
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  11. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Your mom's very caring. I can't imagine telling my kids not to come to me, even if it does make me sad and depressed. They are my life and part of me and that's what makes it so hard to see them upset.
     
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  12. Butterfly88

    Butterfly88 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry to hear that. I'm not a mother but I imagine it's really hard to watch your kids go through stuff.
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    I know a musical version of that blessing.
    Maranatha!: The Lord Bless Thee (1982)
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2019
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  14. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    If you like music with English words :)it doesn’t work for me:) if I know the song from the past it’s very slightly :confused:bearable ,music from the present is only bearable if it’s in Hebrew :relaxed:,I think it changed after I received the holy spirit!:blush:But I never had the complete fluent language ,that some people have ,dont think I’m mature enough:flushed::neutral::relaxed::hearteyecat::disrelieved::smiley:.
     
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  15. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Interesting. I've always preferred music in language I can understand. When my kids would come home singing a song in Spanish, I would always have them tell me what the words mean. I mostly just wanted to encourage them to always know what they're singing or saying. (Usually they would have no idea).