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OK, this is a reason why I should die right here.

These days, my mother is love bombing me and gaslighting me at the same time. I see right through all of that.

I need an emotional divorce from her insanity. I need to stop owning her insanity. I need a different internal script yesterday.
 
Metalhead said:
These days, my mother is love bombing me and gaslighting me at the same time. I see right through all of that.

I need an emotional divorce from her insanity. I need to stop owning her insanity. I need a different internal script yesterday.
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Do you have any relatives you could stay with for an extended period to get away from the toxic environment?
 
That's creepy. She depends on you to keep her asshole timeline. Without you, her whole existence is nothing. Do you see what a loser she is? Can you finally have pity for her entire existence and how her stupidity and her loser needs dictated your life journey? Can you finally break free of her? She has spent her entire lifetime dictating your entire lifetime. What a butt wipe. I believe you are ready to accept the truth. I believe you are ready to break free of her conditioning and control of you.
 
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You have to step up and claim control of your life, none of us at the forum can do that for you. You need to claim your life, put your mom in her place. Confront her for the lifetime of abuse she subjected you to. Claim your life. I can't guarantee you anything except the power you feel when you confront her. Go far grasshopper. To free yourself of this generation enmeshement, you need to call your mother out on her abuse. It doesn't matter what her response is, what matters is you called her out. It's the final chapter.
 
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I might have reacted in an "extreme" way to what happened to you as well. I might not have done exactly what you did, but I might have quit the job impulsively and / or drank too much alcohol etc.

Some people will take the side of your boss and some people will say your boss was out of line (for accusing you of stealing and all that). I obviously disagree with your boss but there's no accounting for tastes I guess lol

(Also I'm not saying your reaction or my hypothetical reaction is right either. This is my first post on the forum lol)
 
Metalhead said:
I guess not drinking again is necessary.
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Necessary is a good word for it. I don’t think I initially chose to become sober. It just got to a point where it was necessary and then stuck for long enough for me to choose it now.

Some of us don’t get the option to use substances without issues. Sometimes, it’s useful (but painful) to remember why sobriety is necessary.
 
Metalhead said:
Damn, I really was an asshole yesterday.

I guess not drinking again is necessary.
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You weren't an asshole, but you do need to find better ways to regulate your emotional state(s). Drugs/alcohol are two of the worst ways to do that. They mask the problem temporary and have the potential to make things worse.

I'm glad you're feeling better.
 
Well, all of you were right. I still have a job, but just barely. I now have to fill out my timesheet every day at the end of my shift now instead of all at once at the end of the pay period, which I think is fair.

I feel like a complete rewrite of my internal scripts are necessary. I was raised to believe that even the most minor of mistakes were reasons why I should flagellate myself and feel tons of toxic shame. I know who intentionally taught me that internal script, as well. I was intentionally raised to feel this way.
 
Metalhead said:
Well, all of you were right. I still have a job, but just barely. I now have to fill out my timesheet every day at the end of my shift now instead of all at once at the end of the pay period, which I think is fair.

I feel like a complete rewrite of my internal scripts are necessary. I was raised to believe that even the most minor of mistakes were reasons why I should flagellate myself and feel tons of toxic shame. I know who intentionally taught me that internal script, as well. I was intentionally raised to feel this way.
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As I suspected. If it were serious they would have dismissed you that day. It wasn't that serious.

I highlighted the part I wanted to address: you need to acknowledge these voices when you hear them. A therapist described this to me like if you hear people talking to each other as you pass them in the store. You acknowledge it, then you dismiss it. The first thought is not you - it's what you've been taught or what your culture has taught you. Your second thought though should be your thought.

So your inner dialogue would read like this:

Thought 1: "You always make these mistakes!" - this is what you have been taught

Thought 2: "No - I don't 'always' make mistakes. It was a one-time thing and I'lll fix the problem going forward." - this is you

I have been practicing this myself and it has helped quite a lot.
 
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Metalhead said:
I feel like a complete rewrite of my internal scripts are necessary.
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Recognise your negative internal dialogue and replace it with realistic/objective ones.
Your thoughts influence your emotions.
Don't be your own worst enemy.
Psych 101. :cool:
 
Masked Man said:
As I suspected. If it were serious they would have dismissed you that day. It wasn't that serious.

I highlighted the part I wanted to address: you need to acknowledge these voices when you hear them. A therapist described this to me like if you hear people talking to each other as you pass them in the store. You acknowledge it, then you dismiss it. The first thought is not you - it's what you've been taught or what your culture has taught you. Your second thought though should be your thought.
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We have no control over these negative, intrusive thoughts.
Everyone gets them to some degree.
People shouldn't accept ownership or feel guilty about them.
Professionals taught me this.

People don't have to be influenced by the negativity.
Reject the self-defeating nonsense.
Not so simply, but persistence pays dividends.

Masked Man said:
So your dialogue would read like this:

Thought 1: "You always make these mistakes!" - this is what you have been taught

Thought 2: "No - I don't 'always' make mistakes. It was a one-time thing and I'lll fix the problem going forward." - this is you

I have been practicing this myself and it has helped quite a lot.
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Agreed.

Just get into the habit of getting back on the wagon as quickly as possible.
People who have been through this very thing will be sympathetic to the struggles.
Those who have no insight don't matter and just bring you down.
Avoid these toxic people. :cool:
 
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