Ok, I was the problem

[ntloveandpain]

I am neurotypical. I've just read through everything he wrote to me (a guy I dated) and I wrote to him. With the knowledge about Asperger, I have today (I read three books on the topic) I was the problem and not him.

I don't know, should I say sorry to him? I feel so guilty right now. It doesn't matter if he and I should ever come back together: I just want to apologize. But I don't know if it is going to make him feel better or worse. He always said that I was making him feel guilty. Guilt was a very strong emotion for him. So if I say sorry, he might feel guilty.

So I need some advice. And can you please help me formulate a good apology to him?

 

[GadAbout]

How you gonna contact him, if he blocked you?

You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Walk away.

 

[ntloveandpain]

Well, he only blocked me on one phone number. The other one we did write from time to time. But he only writes back when I write something to him.

 

[GadAbout]

What did you actually do to him that was so bad?

 

[Major Tom]

I'd say if he blocked you it's time to "let sleeping dogs lie".

 

[Thinx]

If the best he could do to handle how you were was to block you, then I don't think pursuing him with apologies is a great idea. You didn't Make Him Feel Guilty, seems like he blamed you for how he felt. That's not a good sign. Find someone who likes you, and takes responsibility for their own feelings.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Find someone who likes you, and takes responsibility for their own feelings.

That could be a long journey!

That's a relationship,in a way.
Finding out how much you dont take responsibility for your feelings, a thousand times over
Then learning together

 

[Thinx]

Yep, and in retrospect, the ones you learn from, aren't always the one you finally use what you learned with!

Especially if you take A Thousand tries at it... is that overall, @Fridgemagnetman , or for each issue?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

is that overall, @Fridgemagnetman , or for each issue?

I'm still counting

 

[Pats]

Is it an apology you want to pass along or the need for him to know why you acted whatever way you acted. Not really going to change anything, but it could be a mistake to try to go there.
I had a male friend that I actually enjoyed hanging out with. We'd play trivia games, play pool on line and the real thing. I actually had fun being around him. But he wanted more of a relationship and I just didn't. To this day, if I try to talk to him he goes into this one who got away broken heart spiel and I have a hard time getting out of the conversation. At first I thought it would help if I explained my diagnosis and why it was so hard for me to form that kind of relationship and I regretted it - he didn't care about the reason. As most don't. So I would say leave it alone.