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Ok, I was the problem


Well-Known Member
I am neurotypical. I've just read through everything he wrote to me (a guy I dated) and I wrote to him. With the knowledge about Asperger, I have today (I read three books on the topic) I was the problem and not him.

I don't know, should I say sorry to him? I feel so guilty right now. It doesn't matter if he and I should ever come back together: I just want to apologize. But I don't know if it is going to make him feel better or worse. He always said that I was making him feel guilty. Guilt was a very strong emotion for him. So if I say sorry, he might feel guilty.

So I need some advice. And can you please help me formulate a good apology to him?
Well, he only blocked me on one phone number. The other one we did write from time to time. But he only writes back when I write something to him.
If the best he could do to handle how you were was to block you, then I don't think pursuing him with apologies is a great idea. You didn't Make Him Feel Guilty, seems like he blamed you for how he felt. That's not a good sign. Find someone who likes you, and takes responsibility for their own feelings.
Find someone who likes you, and takes responsibility for their own feelings.

That could be a long journey!

That's a relationship,in a way.
Finding out how much you dont take responsibility for your feelings, a thousand times over :)
Then learning together :)
Yep, and in retrospect, the ones you learn from, aren't always the one you finally use what you learned with!

Especially if you take A Thousand tries at it... is that overall, @Fridgemagnetman , or for each issue?
Is it an apology you want to pass along or the need for him to know why you acted whatever way you acted. Not really going to change anything, but it could be a mistake to try to go there.
I had a male friend that I actually enjoyed hanging out with. We'd play trivia games, play pool on line and the real thing. I actually had fun being around him. But he wanted more of a relationship and I just didn't. To this day, if I try to talk to him he goes into this one who got away broken heart spiel and I have a hard time getting out of the conversation. At first I thought it would help if I explained my diagnosis and why it was so hard for me to form that kind of relationship and I regretted it - he didn't care about the reason. As most don't. So I would say leave it alone.

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