Not sure what I should do about this...

[Pats]

I really hope that isn't the case. I guess that is a possibility though. I do basically only tell people on a need to know basis, I have only three friends and they know because they were weirded out by how awkward/scared of loud noise/jumpy I am. So I don't generally tell many people. I really don't want that to be the case. But it might be I guess

I, too, understand tearing the note up and wanting to keep it hid. Exactly what I would have done- not making it the best way to handle it. And you learn very quickly in life never to completely trust anyone. That's hard to get through to a teenager who believes their friends are better than others, but you can't. I don't know how many cases a young person has needlessly dies because their friends, whom they trusted, ran away. Few will remain at your side. I was so proud of my grandson recently. A bunch of his friends and he were at an abandoned building playing around on the roof when one of his friends fell through. All the other kids took off for fear of getting in trouble themselves. But my grandson climbed down, carried the boy and got him to a hospital. Yes, he got into trouble, but he possibly saved his friends life. (By the way, I think he may be on the spectrum, too).

 

[Tom]

There is always exceptions but as a rule people are not reliable in the sense they will keep your secret. I would never tell anyone in the public domain (school, work, online).

 

[OkRad]

That is horrible. I am SO sorry some [expletive deleted] did that to you. This is why I love home schooling.

I will tell you what happened to me, kinda similar. I was in same situation only could not eat and almost died. When I went back to school, the teacher gave me my file and told me to take it to the office. I could not resist.

I went to the bathroom and read it. I ALMOST DIED OF SHAME.

It was stating no matter what, i would get a C even if I failed. I was a good student. I did not fail! But the idea was, I was MR. This was because I did not speak.

I began to write the most amazing papers and got A's . Still , when I did so, my teacher looked puzzled and said, "Wow, OKRAD, I knew you could do it!" Kind of a backhanded compliment.

Then I had to start to talk and I was mad.

I burned my math book. I got into lengthy conversations with my teacher about the morality and ethics of things. He got so mad, he threw a mug in class because he was asserting his moral views on the Subway Shooter and I disagreed.

All that was NOT in my personality, but I was so ashamed of being labeled incompetent.

Don't be like OKRAD. I have learned now that people will know. They will find out. And guess what? They will even get it wrong.

But I have my special interest and I have ways to zone out and find peace that are unique and ways NTs do NOT have. I have learned , over a long time, to hone those skills.

You are ASD which means you are probably much smarter than those who are harming you. You can outwit them and not hurt them. You can go into that great brain of yours and find ways to protect yourself and still be the awesome person you are.

Please keep us posted.........

 

[SunnyDay16]

I'm sorry!! Obviously whoever wrote that note is a horrid person! And yes they're everywhere you go, but that doesn't make it any easier.

 

[owlet]

I'm really sorry this happened. It sounds like a frightening experience, especially with most people not being aware of your autism. I was bullied a lot in school (I didn't have a diagnosis then, but I was the very tall, quiet person and that made me a target) and what I found worked best was when I acted with indifference to any attempted jabs my way. Like at one point, girls in the class were asking if I'd cried after another girl got her sister to yell at me and I was so confused at the idea of crying over it, I just said 'No?' in a blank way and they looked equally confused and went away. If you don't react how they expect you to, it confuses them and bullies don't like it when you're unpredictable (they generally want consistent power over you).

Really, I think you should tell your parents and possibly let your teachers know, but then after that, try not to respond, if you can. Treat it as impersonally as possible, like you're just dealing with 'a problem' rather than bullying. I understand that's very difficult though and I hope you'll be able to get support.

 

[TempeFan]

I understand this is a deja vu bad experience for you -extra scary because you don't want it happening again. As evidenced by your shouting it in capital letters, your main concern seems to be: "I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANYBODY FOUND OUT I'M AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!!" It's unlikely your friends may have let it slip but, if so, they didn't mean to hurt you. The fact that it started the same way indicates it was probably the same person who was jealous or felt slighted by you before. A mean person like that would have spread it around, so it's most likely gossip from your old school. Your confidential academic files that get passed on from school to school contain that type of data on students. Adults are very careless with records. You'd be amazed at how much information and misinformation is out there about everybody. Have you googled yourself?

You' ve already sought help from a trusted source. That was a good move. Your next one shouldn't be whatever didn't work last time. I'd take Tom's advice. It may be just a typical bully. Bullies are cowards and if they are not scaring the expected response out of you, they will probably move on to somebody else who they can isolate and manipulate.

Unfortunately this kind of stuff is very common in school. Kids can be very cruel. It isn't limited to autistics. Anyone can find themselves bullied. Most of us here have experienced it in some form or another.

Ignorring one incident is a reasonable approach (Keep the note) But if it reaccurs share the note with your parents.

 

[Horsegirl]

Today nothing happened. I'm glad, I was terrified to go to school this morning. I really don't think it was any of my three friends. I told one of them today. I wasn't planning on it. But it kinda just slipped out. She said basically what you guys have all said. She said that nobody should be allowed to say stuff like that. She also said "Don't you dare find a new school I would miss you too much." And then we went to my locker and she helped me look through all my things and see if there was anything else in there. There wasn't. I am sure it wasn't her. She wouldn't do that to me. And as for the other two, it's the same. So I'm no longer going to consider that maybe they are the ones who said something, because I'm sure it's not the case. My next idea is that maybe somebody saw like the corner of a paper or something? I have an IEP so I don't know maybe somebody could have seen a paper hanging off the edge of a teacher's desk? I mean I know that's kinda far fetched but I am now certain that it wasn't my friends who spilled the beans.
Also, thanks very much to everybody who has replied to this so far. It made me feel a lot better last night (I was freaking out completely last night as in crying and basically losing my mind all together.)
Also apologies if this is in the wrong forum. I still can't figure this site out