• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Not sure what I should do about this...

Horsegirl

Well-Known Member
So here's the thing. I just started high school. And up until today, I have been really liking it. But today when I went into my binder, I found a note. It said, "Autistics aren't welcome here go find a new school." I don't know how it got in there. My binder is with me almost all day, and when it isn't it's in my locker. But more importantly, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANYBODY FOUND OUT I'M AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!! And that's what's really freaking me out. I only tell very close friends this. And the ones who know I would trust with my life. I know they wouldn't tell anyone. So really I have no idea. I'm really scared. I don't want to go to school anymore. It was so awesome until this happened. And I'm way too scared to even tell anyone about this, even my best friend who I normally tell everything to.
Anybody have any ideas?
Literally any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated. I can't remember the last time I felt this lost, I feel sick to my stomach just typing this.
 

pamelaperejil

Non-player character
So sorry this happened to you. That would be unnerving.

On the upside, if you've been enjoying high school, then chances are most people there like you. One jerk's opinion isn't going to count for much.

Don't let the bastards get you down.
 

Horsegirl

Well-Known Member
I don't know if there is one. But maybe. And to be honest, I don't know whether I'm ok or not. A similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I was constantly being threatened, told to go kill myself, etc. And it all started with one little note in my bag. Except then, the person who was picking on me didn't know I'm an aspie. I can only imagine how somebody could use that against me. And now that one person knows, how many others do? Yeah. Not good. Last time, I had to change schools because of it. It's been a year and a half since then. If this is the beginning of one of those, I don't know.
 

Pats

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Wow! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. The first time started with a note, too? Maybe both times they are just guessing?
High school is such a time for adjusting and such a mix of maturity. I remember when I was in high school. There was a girl that just didn't like me. There was no rational reason for it, but she constantly sent messages that she was going to beat me up. I never mentioned it to anyone but a few other people knew because she told people. I tried to act like it was no big deal, but had my fingers crossed that she would not follow through with it. I've always been chicken and knew I could never hit back or fight back. One day she followed me out of the library and we were in the hall alone. Apparently someone else noticed and the principal was called because as she started pushing me the principal came around the corner and stopped anything from happening. Talk about relieved. She left me alone after that. To this day, I never understood or knew what exactly happened. I lucked out. We moved and the new school I never made a friend. I almost did until her friends insisted that she not talk to me. She explained to me that she couldn't talk to me anymore. Again, I never understood why - I never did anything to anyone. And at that time there was no aspergers or HF autism so it was just that I was different.
I was never much for defending myself, but I know if it were a child of mine being threatened I would be going to the school and talking to someone. An adult needs to be informed of the situation so they can watch out for signs of trouble. Teachers are well educated in bullying and what to do today.
 

Theta.G

Well-Known Member
If the penmanship has some unique traits maybe you can identify who did it? Maybe they dot their i's a certain way or have an abnormally vertical squashed writing form or horizontally expanded writing form. If only your best friends know, maybe that would be a good place to start comparing. Luckily since your in school it shouldn't be too hard. Could ask if they want to study with you or something or compare notes.

It says on your profile you are 13 so is this junior high school? Is it possible that some of your best friends have expanded their social circle and may have told some new people about you?
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
You NEED to take the offending words and show a teacher.

When people get to know us, that is when we really cannot hide behind the autism. At first glance, indeed, we look "normal", but after that, very subtle quirks come through.
 

OlLiE

Well-Known Member
-1- give note to parents, they should be aware, it is their job to look out for your wellbeing
-2- let your parents deal with it with the principal
> a signed receipt letter so you have formal proof the school is aware of what is going on
> a meeting with the principal of the school

risk > the teachers and potentially other students will inevitably be aware of your condition, which could make things worse

or do like i did, join the swim team, bulk up, no one bothered me after that, being 6ft6 helped of course
 

Progster

Gone sideways to the sun
V.I.P Member
First of all, keep the note. You need it as evidence.
Since you had it with you all the time, it is likely to be from someone sitting next to you. Watch your classmates carefully. See if you can work out who it is from the handwriting, the kind of ink and paper used.
Tell your parents and ask them to get in touch with the school, or talk to the school councellor or head of department or headmaster, or whoever is in charge, but don't tell anyone that you are doing this.
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Unfortunately this kind of stuff is very common in school. Kids can be very cruel. It isn't limited to autistics. Anyone can find themselves bullied. Most of us here have experienced it in some form or another.

Ignorring one incident is a reasonable approach (Keep the note) But if it reaccurs share the note with your parents.
 

Horsegirl

Well-Known Member
I guess there's my first mistake right there. The note is in 500000 pieces thrown into a trash can. I really didn't want anyone to see. So I did that. And no, it's not junior high. Where I live you go to one school from K-3 and another from 4-7 and then another 8-12. I don't think my best friends would have expanded their social circle. I only have three friends. And they have always only had our little mini group as friends. I might try to recognize printing. I know I really should tell my parents or the school. But I really don't want to. I know I should, so I will try.
As Pats mentioned, the similarity between the 2 situations is really odd. The fact that last time I had to switch schools. And this note was telling me to find a new school. Weirdly similar. I don't know. I think I'll wait before doing anything super crazy. I don't want to tangle around if this is the only time this happens. But I will try to tell someone.
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Don't blame you for destroying the horrid note. If it happens again place it in an envelope and where you don't have to look at it.
 

Mattymatt

Imperfectly Perfect
So here's the thing. I just started high school. And up until today, I have been really liking it. But today when I went into my binder, I found a note. It said, "Autistics aren't welcome here go find a new school." I don't know how it got in there. My binder is with me almost all day, and when it isn't it's in my locker. But more importantly, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANYBODY FOUND OUT I'M AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!! And that's what's really freaking me out. I only tell very close friends this. And the ones who know I would trust with my life. I know they wouldn't tell anyone. So really I have no idea. I'm really scared. I don't want to go to school anymore. It was so awesome until this happened. And I'm way too scared to even tell anyone about this, even my best friend who I normally tell everything to.
Anybody have any ideas?
Literally any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated. I can't remember the last time I felt this lost, I feel sick to my stomach just typing this.
I am sorry that this has happened to you and it must feel really humiliating. I think one of your "friends" leaked this closely guarded secret. In my high school experience, I've had people pretend to be my friends only to stab me in the back. Why people behave this way is still utterly foreign to me but I've seen it (and been a victim of it) in the workplace. If I were you, I would tell only those with an absolute need to know, i.e. a medical professional or significant other. There are some people out there that will pretend to be sympathetic and understanding to extract your weaknesses and then exploit them. At least this is not considered normative behavior; it is sociopathic.
 

Horsegirl

Well-Known Member
I really hope that isn't the case. I guess that is a possibility though. I do basically only tell people on a need to know basis, I have only three friends and they know because they were weirded out by how awkward/scared of loud noise/jumpy I am. So I don't generally tell many people. I really don't want that to be the case. But it might be I guess
 

Mary Terry

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm sorry this happened to you. There are jerks everywhere we go: at school, work, driving cars, grocery shopping - they're everywhere. It is possible that the note author doesn't really know for sure if you are autistic and just decided to freak you out because he/she is a mean person. He/she could be jealous of you or view you as some kind of threat. High school is a series of misadventures and petty juvenile events. Remember that you are there to get a high school diploma, after which you may never see any of those people again for the rest of your life. Please keep your chin up, be proud of who you are, go to class, study hard, and if anything like this happens again, then you need to tell your parents and the school so the bullying can be documented. I think you are handling the situation just fine.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom