No, I am not bartering myself for Ian repair

[Aspychata]

So the feeling with the said person just felt a tad off. They jump out of their vehicle and immediately start offering help. Hey, l have tools was one sentence. Hey l have a chainsaw which was told to me twice. Then came the personal details. Just went thru divorce. Then came my question, when would this be possible to schedule, was returned with "well call me". Aren't you here as a professional service to accept money to repair my carport? It just morphed into, hey l can fix this and that, and l am a electrician too.

For me, l am dealing with a catastrophe, I just rode through sheer panic of wondering if my house roof might blow away, made 2 panic calls, wolfed down chocolate, cried a bit. Get my follow-up act together to schedule appointments and strike out. I sent the roofing person photos, he could have told me by phone he didn't repair carport roofs.

As a older female, l can't get use to having men come on to me, because it's upsetting to me as a senior citizen. I mentioned that was my boyfriend's car in the carport. I really thought getting older would kind of remove me from that playing field. I don't give out those vibes, l don't flirt. It's frustrating at my age.

How do other older woman handle this? I need a tattoo on my forehead that says, forgetta about it. I dread home repairs. I crawled into my bed and cried at 8:00 pm. The devastation from Ian was just horrible in our park. A roof flew off went two houses down and landed in another person's yard. I drove around and was shocked at all the damage. I just wanted professional to come out not a come on.......

 

[Progster]

How do other older woman handle this?

Well, occasionally strangers offer to help me with things, but it's just that... an offer to help, not a come on (I think). Those that know me know that I'm not available, so I rarely get that kind of unwanted attention.

I often ignore people when they try to talk to me, especially men, because I don't ask to be approached or talked to and often it's to comment on something I'm doing or the way I look, none of their business.

I once had some guy making comments as I waled past a building site. I ignored it and kept on walking, and then took a different route the next time.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

That is disturbing. Seems like there are creeps coming out when people are stressed out and now Florida is a target rich environment. My sister saw such after Andrew. So sorry that you went through that.

 

[Judge]

Seems I just read about such things as the latest scam in Florida. "On the fly" offers of home repairs on the spot. Bad enough for all the creeps who try to cash in on encounters with senior citizens rain or shine, but this is even worse.

Though your best weapon in such circumstances IMO remains your vigilance. You're onto them and you know exactly why. This may be the most important part of the entire equation.

I can sympathize, as these people will never likely stop. Much like the daily scam phone calls I receive. Where criminals have done their homework enough to specifically target senior citizens, so I know the calls will never end. Where all I have as well is my own vigilance, which keeps me from making any contact with such scum for any reason.

Still, at times it all wears me down too. That for every one of us who remains vigilant to avoid such grief, there are probably ten others who take it all, hook, line and sinker. And pay for it.

 

[Sunny1]

@Aspychata
I am so glad to hear that you are okay. I was worried about you.
As a newly transplanted Floridian, I found having a hurricane literally go though your town is an experience to do once, I guess. It was a fast initiation. I was blessedly spared damage to my home, although two huge trees went down in the neighbors yards on each side on me, one on their house, and am sorry that you are having to deal with repairs.

 

[Aspychata]

@Aspychata
I am so glad to hear that you are okay. I was worried about you.
As a newly transplanted Floridian, I found having a hurricane literally go though your town is an experience to do once, I guess. It was a fast initiation. I was blessedly spared damage to my home, although two huge trees went down in the neighbors yards on each side on me, one on their house, and am sorry that you are having to deal with repairs.

Excellent you did well. So lucky with those trees. My neighbor across the street had a 20 ft palm tree, and fell straight across the street and into my yard. I am glad l didn't park my car on the side. I survived Irma, but this was scary. And home building supplies are scarce and repairs will go slowly.

 

[Aspychata]

I am paying a little more but l am dealing with a bonded, insured, and has worker comp type company. Which means l won't get hit on. If you pay less, you get stuck with worse choices. Could l do some of it myself -yes, but l just feel beat-up for other reasons in my life which l can't go into. I thought over things, came up with solutions and now l am feeling like a contractor. I just need the hardhat and a proceed at your own risk sign.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am paying a little more but l am dealing with a bonded, Insured, and has worker comp type company. Which means l won't get hit on. If you pay less, you get stuck with worse choices. Could l do some of it myself -yes, but l just feel beat-up for other reasons in my life which l can't go into.

The teddy bear is for hugs. Step back, give yourself a big hug for weathering a monster storm the likes of which I am uneasy sharing the same continent with. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Metalhead]

So the feeling with the said person just felt a tad off. They jump out of their vehicle and immediately start offering help. Hey, l have tools was one sentence. Hey l have a chainsaw which was told to me twice. Then came the personal details. Just went thru divorce. Then came my question, when would this be possible to schedule, was returned with "well call me". Aren't you here as a professional service to accept money to repair my carport? It just morphed into, hey l can fix this and that, and l am a electrician too.

For me, l am dealing with a catastrophe, I just rode through sheer panic of wondering if my house roof might blow away, made 2 panic calls, wolfed down chocolate, cried a bit. Get my follow-up act together to schedule appointments and strike out. I sent the roofing person photos, he could have told me by phone he didn't repair carport roofs.

As a older female, l can't get use to having men come on to me, because it's upsetting to me as a senior citizen. I mentioned that was my boyfriend's car in the carport. I really thought getting older would kind of remove me from that playing field. I don't give out those vibes, l don't flirt. It's frustrating at my age.

How do other older woman handle this? I need a tattoo on my forehead that says, forgetta about it. I dread home repairs. I crawled into my bed and cried at 8:00 pm. The devastation from Ian was just horrible in our park. A roof flew off went two houses down and landed in another person's yard. I drove around and was shocked at all the damage. I just wanted professional to come out not a come on.......

Buy a chainsaw and say you used that on the last guy who wanted a date with you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

@Aspychata,...I am sorry you had that experience,...frankly, I am sorry you've had other experiences like this,...as per your other posts. I can see where you could get a bit sick and tired of it. I am so out of it when it comes to these sorts of interactions,...I have no sense of your perspective that I don't even know what to say sometimes,...but I do have some empathy here. I wish we were the sort of friends, living close by, that I could just come over and fix things and get you on your way. I'd work for food.

Take care.

 

[Aspychata]

Thank you everybody. I was afraid to say how l felt, but everyone understands better what older woman go through. So thankful for this forum.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thank you everybody. I was afraid to say how l felt, but everyone understands better what older woman go through. So thankful for this forum.

While I cannot profess to understand how that feels, having somebody act like they want to take advantage of you has to be disturbing. I keep hearing about scammers in caveat emptor states like Florida and know about unwanted attention from men at all ages, but have a hard time conjuring up the feelings of disgust that you must be feeling to be treated poorly.

I would never know that. My entire life I was never noticed by girls/women so it bothered me only to be noticed by Thai prostitutes for all the wrong reasons. Not being noticed led to self esteem issues and in life with my spouse I have just plain stopped thinking about it. Now, I am at the age where I am invisible except for economic reasons.

 

[Aspychata]

Being noticed has cost me many jobs. I remember being a young child and having issues. At Playland, l had to ask staff to call the police, l was only in second grade, I was stalked 4 years in another state, that's a book in itself. Kicked out of my house because my mom noticed my step-dad noticed me. So you think by now l would have a tough skin. But the Autism l think screws up that connection. It might be Florida standards also, who knows. Live and learn.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Being noticed has cost me many jobs. I remember being a young child and having issues. At Playland, l had to ask staff to call the police, l was only in second grade, I was stalked 4 years in another state, that's a book in itself. Kicked out of my house because my mom noticed my step-dad noticed me. So you think by now l would have a tough skin. But the Autism l think screws up that connection. It might be Florida standards also, who knows. Live and learn.

That is horrible to have unwholesome attention from such sick people. i believe that our autism teaches us the wrong lessons if we can learn from such things at all.

For a male, being noticed has its own set of values. I still get twinges of envy when guys relate how they were noticed by girls/women. I reconciled to the fact that as a research scientist I had no social value, with family telling me "Well, that is the life you chose," when the only marker of value for them is money. I happily bet my life on the skills I have gained in facing Class IV+ rapids in a canoe or kayak, but the attention goes to the drug-addled freaks of nature who play conventional sports. People like me remain invisible.

 

[Aspychata]

That is horrible to have unwholesome attention from such sick people. i believe that our autism teaches us the wrong lessons if we can learn from such things at all.

For a male, being noticed has its own set of values. I still get twinges of envy when guys relate how they were noticed by girls/women. I reconciled to the fact that as a research scientist I had no social value, with family telling me "Well, that is the life you chose," when the only marker of value for them is money. I happily bet my life on the skills I have gained in facing Class IV+ rapids in a canoe or kayak, but the attention goes to the drug-addled freaks of nature who play conventional sports. People like me remain invisible.

Usually the woman going for that type aren't really the best choices in woman. I tried to work jobs my entire life, but l have been harassed a lot, so being retired is okay.