New Stim

[Raggamuffin]

When was the last time you noticed you developed a new stim? Everything I do has been that way as long as I can remember, but in the past few months since being sober I've noticed I'm doing a new stim during stressful times such as in crowded places.

I looked up online and saw similar examples of hand stims. I just found it odd that I'd find a new stim at 34 years old. But, I do find it very calming and notice its become almost instinctive in times of stress. But only around people. At home, I continue to do my usual stim of sitting and swaying, which occurs all day tbh. As I'm usually sat in front of the computer all day.

How about you? Have your stims been around as far back as you can remember? Have you ever developed any later in life?

I've made a brief video example.

Ed

 

[Michael Balog]

Yea I switch up which stims I use all the time. Swaying and rocking are very useful for me and twirling my thumbs is too. Your video link didn’t work for me btw.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Your video link didn’t work for me btw.

It seems that it downloads the video when you click the link. At least it did for me on my mobile browser and work one.

Ed

 

[Michael Balog]

Oh ok Ed I will try this at home then cause my phone won’t work.

 

[Els]

I didn't know I was stimming nor what stimming was, and now that I know what it is I noticed I have PLENTY of diffent ones.

1) I have stims that I think are more like games, not everything I do is related to stress or self soothing - althrough my games are self soothing in the end. I can jump just because I'm going somewhere I like to be going to, it's not related to stress it's just expression and fun to do so it fits my mood. That being said, I can also jump because I'm highly disgusted by something and can't bear it.

2) I have stims I'm not aware of at all until people make me notice. When I went at the psy hospital, the nurse asked me why I was rocking my leg and focused on the movement of my foot. I don't even notice I'm doing such stuffs, I was surprised. I also was surprised that it was uncommon enough to be talked about. I think I have a lot more of those but I don't realize I'm doing something. So I can't really know if there are new ones or not actually, the ones I'm unaware of, I just can't say if there are new ones or not, I just do it and don't even realize what I'm doing.

3) I have new ones that are... old ones. I'm letting myself do stuffs that I was doing as a kid but had to learn to stop. I count 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 repetitively in my mind when something is HIGHLY stressful. Now I do that more often because I know it's okay (I thought I was mad to do that so I made myself stop unless I'm in a burn out and can't stop it).
I have the head banging since I'm a kid. I was very violent and had no consideration for physical pain at all. Then I stopped because people were laughing or being even more harmful and violent and punishing me. Now I still do hit my head but super softly with the palm of my hand when alone. It does evacuate pressure in seconds. I also let myself rock back and forth a lot more, it was defended at school I had to learn to stay extremely straight (I changed for swinging my legs, they couldn't see it). I clap my hands on my legs a lot, even when walking, I think it's either when I'm happy or stressed. Now I reconnect with those stuffs because they're very helpful althrough they're obvious and socially "unacceptable". So I'd say it's new... but it also isn't.

I have a similar one with the hands but also different, I do it 2 ways (variations lol). I go one side to the other continuously. I see it more like a game I'm doing while walking or if there's a crowded place or crossing a person I worry about, it helps me self soothe and focus for sure, but it's also a game for me.

 

[SliverOfSand]

I’ve started noticing my stims more and more lately. The first one I discovered was rocking back and forth and head bobbing, especially if I’m reading or doing something on the computer. Hand stims are probably the ones I do the most, I cup my hands together in a repetitive pattern, or I’ll shake them at the wrist, or, if I need to be more subtle, I’ll just tap my fingers. Most of my current hand stims are just variations of previous ones.

I have had stims that I haven’t done in years suddenly come back again. There is one I have that I had a few years ago that just recently came back, and that is rubbing my hands on my pants. I enjoy the tingling feeling the fabric makes on my hands. But probably my most destructive stim is that I peel the skin off of my lips. I do this when I’m nervous or really bored. That one is a stim that I’ve only started since a year or two, and it’s extremely hard to stop. It’s almost like a release, and very satisfying for me, but my lips think otherwise!

 

[Raggamuffin]

I have complex stims too, or games - as you said. It's very situational though. At work it's constant leg bouncing - both legs, almost the entire day. Then there's the finger tapping and drumming. Also tapping and patting my hands on my thighs. Other games I'll play is running up stairs in a particular order - or counting down to zero in my head when I'm doing something. It's a game, but also thrill seeking as it gets me overly excitable.

In the car I tend the steering wheel inbetween 2 fingers. Imagine if you were imitating scissors with your hand - the steering wheel sits inbetween the gap and I rapidly drum the steering wheel with both fingers. If I'm stuck in traffic I do it with both hands and often try and go as fast as possible. In a way it's soothing - but sometimes It's actually more of a stimulant.

If I'm overly excited in the car, especially to energetic music - I grab the steering wheel hard and rock rather violently forwards and backwards. Also there's a hell of a lot of verbal tics in the car. If I'm in a hyper mood it's complete gibberish - noises, silly voices, sometimes I just randomly screen and shout as loud as I possibly can. Also clapping - either loud and slow or really fast. And then finally there's the usual leg bouncing of the left leg when it's not being used on the clutch pedal.

As a kid - I used to sway from left to right in the car, as I do at home on the floor. So much so I wore down the car seat interior from where my elbow was. Occasionally I'd catch the eye of a passer by, but I'd look away as soon as I met their gaze. One day a kid in school confronted me, scoffing that he'd seen me and asked what I was doing and what was wrong with me. I just denied it was me and walked away - never apologise, never explain

I also like rubbing my hands on my trousers - it is very soothing. Also in shops if there's any kind of fabric like cushions etc on display, I have to run my hand across them.

I find I bite my lip skin, but I don't pick it. However I do pick at any cut, scab or spot I get - I always turn a minor blemish into an actual wound. It's not good, but I've never stopped doing it.

The main one for me is the swaying from left to right whilst sat on the floor at home. I just can't sit on chairs at home unless we have guests. I feel tense, uneasy and excessively fidgety. So I sit on a rug on the floor and sway from left to right. Literally all day long - 5+ hours on week days and 12+ hours on weekends.

Ed

 

[Ezra]

In my opinion what form a stim takes, is not all that relevant. They all exist for the same reason and do the same thing for you. For those who look after me, it's not how I am stimming they care about, but how much. When I become more or less animated than usual it is an indication of something going on with me that might need to be addressed.

 

[Raggamuffin]

^ That is interesting I must admit.

The only person who notices when my stimming changes is my partner. At homes it's obvious - if I go from swaying left to right to abruptly stopping, she'll often ask what's wrong. If my mood is really low, I won't sway at all.

Ed

 

[Ezra]

That's good that you have someone who is able to read you.

 

[menander]

I never stop moving. It causes great pain to do so. It made school impossible. It hurts as much for me to stop moving as it would hurt someone NT to move all the time.

I don't know why and I have not found others yet that have this level of need to move. My parents had to buy me all these contraptions to put in the living room like monkey bars and all sorts of equipment because I would just start screaming and spinning and jumping all exited over anything. A New Moon!! SHRIEK! An aunt coming? RUN AROUND LIKE A MANIAC! So they go all this stuff and I would go down and just pound away in glee.

Since then I had to get a ton of equipment like weight machines, treadmills, bikes, pushing furniture around, etc.

If you really want to torment yourself, take me to a movie. Once I had a partner who would hold me on their lap tight and that was awesome. Even now I have to sit in the back so when my legs start to ache I can stand up, walk around, etc. The max I can last and hold it all is about 15 minutes.

Anyone who goes to a movie with me is very tolerable because I learned never to be around people who are not able to understand.

I guess it's why they let kids get up and wander in the Autism Friendly Schools.

 

[theporgsnest]

Like @Els, for years of my life I didn't even realise what I was doing even was stimming (aside from, I suppose, the more recognized hand-flapping I went through as a younger child).
So now I realise mine tend to nearly always be tactile or proprioceptive. Usually something like picking my nails or feeling skin/hair texture (the downside to this being that it advanced into me having trichotillomania, so I have to nip this stim in the bud a bit)
Proprioceptive ones include sort-of pacing and juddering my right leg all over the place which really annoys people.
I find I use music as well, but I don't know whether this is so much a stim in itself as something I use to prevent stimulation escalating. Maybe

 

[Barymore]

*wow* thanks for sharing, everyone. Stims are something I am quite ambivalent about as many were socially frowned upon. So I did what most do: suppress them, alter them to something less "weird" or feel embarassed when they slip out.
I have not noticed new ones, but they vary in frequency and some may come and go. (now that I think on it: my wife says I've suddenly started doing this weird thing with my mouth when I yawn, but its only when I yawn and thats not that often - can that be a stim?) Verbal stims tend to be more happy / excited / chill ones (mouth clicks and endlessly humming the same bit of song - also this very weird tongue thing like a NZ Haka..). Hand/finger rubbing and twirling are selfsoothing / stress as are the leg twitching and rubbing hands on legs (the former drives my wife crazy as I often do it in bed when falling asleep after an intense day!). Clapping / Flapping hands and twirling are usually excitement but I sure as hell dont do those where anyone except maybe my wife can see! Rubbing
and hitting my face are signs that a meltdown is imminent. I do not usually do these in public anymore as I recognise precursors and get myself the hell out of there or let my wife know and she will take over so that I can just sort of freeze instead of getting loud and getting noticed.

I've adapted many stims so that they are less apparent and just seem like nervous tics. Any answers as to what separates a Stim from a nervous habit like leg bouncing or finger tapping in NTs?

At any rate, it does make me sad that my stims are an embarrassment to me. Reading your posts and watching the clips has been very nice, so thanks again.

 

[theporgsnest]

I've adapted many stims so that they are less apparent and just seem like nervous tics. Any answers as to what separates a Stim from a nervous habit like leg bouncing or finger tapping in NTs?

From what I understand, the difference between the two is the type of stim, and quantity/frequency. However although stimming is part of the diagnostic criteria, as far as I'm aware, it's not necessarily always related to having autism. There's things I do that I notice others (who are NT) do in a similar way and maybe for similar reasons, but I personally feel like I have way less control over reaction to being over-excited/stimulated: thus, stim. It's definitely more of an impulse thing, I feel. And I suppose some people on the spectrum may develop stims that are less socially acceptable and maybe verging on harmful, so it diverges from a nervous habit like nail-biting or cracking your knuckles

 

[Els]

I also have mimicking noises, especially repetitive and/or annoying ones. I'm good at doing the subway noise, not bad at cicadas, doing quiet okay with the wind's noise and the firemen/police/etc alarms. Lol. I don't know if this is a stim, but it helps me cope with sounds I find annoying... but I really have the feeling that when I do this I'm in the process of making that annoying thing a bit more fun and okay to stand. It is self soothing for sure, but it's not necessarily a bad or a very bad situation, it can just mean that something is noticeably happening around me and I deal with it by "playing" because it's the best way to handle the discomfort. But it's not necessarily a huge dramatic stress, it just happens. I can do that because I'm bored and have nothing else in particular to focus on, because I'm tired and really annoyed, or maybe even other reasons I don't pay attention to.
If it's a sound completely overwhelming I have other reactions, I wouldn't ever mimic a baby crying or the noise of gardener's machines, or an alarm that's too near, those send me to complete system error right away.

 

[Els]

I never stop moving. It causes great pain to do so. It made school impossible. It hurts as much for me to stop moving as it would hurt someone NT to move all the time.

I don't know why and I have not found others yet that have this level of need to move. My parents had to buy me all these contraptions to put in the living room like monkey bars and all sorts of equipment because I would just start screaming and spinning and jumping all exited over anything. A New Moon!! SHRIEK! An aunt coming? RUN AROUND LIKE A MANIAC! So they go all this stuff and I would go down and just pound away in glee.

Since then I had to get a ton of equipment like weight machines, treadmills, bikes, pushing furniture around, etc.

If you really want to torment yourself, take me to a movie. Once I had a partner who would hold me on their lap tight and that was awesome. Even now I have to sit in the back so when my legs start to ache I can stand up, walk around, etc. The max I can last and hold it all is about 15 minutes.

Anyone who goes to a movie with me is very tolerable because I learned never to be around people who are not able to understand.

I guess it's why they let kids get up and wander in the Autism Friendly Schools.

It was really painful to learn how to stop moving at school, and I really mean painful. I had to learn what else I could be doing and how to hide it because it was impossible. It was also difficult because a lot of times I wasn't even aware that I was moving or making noise. I'm unlearning that fear to be catched moving at the moment, I'm happy to realize it's over

 

[Aspychata]

Just thought it was nervous energy most of my life. Sometimes l have a weird need to slap the sides of my thighs. But also l love a deep pressure from massage there. l do wiggle lower extremities, (anything goes).
I started chewing gum when nervous. Also raspberry noises by myself. Gum is definitely a coping mechanism and when my prior boss called me on it : l stated what gum??? He let me slide, l think he is on the spectrum. Think stress can make me stim a bit.

 

[Hylian]

Most of my stims I think I've had since I was a child, but I do have new ones pop up once in awhile. I've always rocked and swayed, and when I get overwhelmed (from both anxiety or excitement) I've always bounced in my seat/where I'm standing a bit. Something that I've done for years is also tap/gently beat my chest which I do all the time.

The recent stims I've developed are vocal ones, where I get the urge to repeat new phrases or make certain noises. I also pick up noises animals make (like the noises my cats make) and will mimic them once in awhile.

 

[Running Girl]

First, Congratulations on getting into recovery, Raggamuffin! Not at all surprised you have developed new stims as a result. Early recovery is stressful and new- 2 things we tend to not like. (It gets better, as you may have heard)
But i noticed that in a social situation, or a meeting, even if I want to be there, I'm always moving the pointer finger of my right hand up and down along my thigh, or tapping it, with or without also tapping my foot on the floor. But the one that bothers me is when i feel socially vulnerable, mostly at work, I hum. I hate humming and find it very annoying when others hum! Yet I cant stop, especially if i walk past someone who makes me uncomfortable (that would be, like everyone, lol). Definately a stim. And like some others have said, I didnt know what this stuff was called or that it was related to the autism spectrum, till I came around here.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I think the sobriety could be a valid reason behind the big increase in stimming. Substances took the edge off emotional unpleasantries. Then again; they created their own negative physical and emotional consequences. Living in a fog had a degree of serenity to it - even though the price was too costly.

Most stimming is at work, and with the pace beginning to pick up once again in the office, the stimming and the issues with concentration and stress are increasing. Another work related issue I think might contribute to the stimming is that the only person in the office I get on with has been off sick for 7 months.

At work I've gone back to rarely talking. I've reverted back into my shell and spend most of the day in silence - avoiding small talk and stuck in my own world with my headphones on, in a bid to help concentration.

The office seems to cause a trilogy of discomfort - the amount of work, the tedious nature of the work, and the lack of distraction through socialising. So my stimming has increased more and more, as I need some form of relief and calm.

Ed