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Never share an autism meltdown video

My mother used to audio record my meltdowns and play them back for me when I was calmed down to try to use shame as a way to get me to stop having meltdowns.
I am sorry. My dad would film mine to "show others how bad it really was" and to "show me how ridiculous I was being". I am sorry you had that experience.
 
On my YouTube channel, I actually did have my say about why you shouldn't go sharing Meltdown videos on social media. This is the full video where I explain what Meltdowns are and it's towards the end is where I do mention how terrible it is to share the videos of children having a meltodwn.


Great video and I totally agree!
 
I’m all for an autistic person sharing their own meltdowns online. I could see myself doing that. I could imagine that sort of content as being incredibly helpful for someone who is trying to determine if they are on the spectrum. I despise NTs speaking for autistics or “advocating” for them in most cases and obviously them posting the video is not ok. It is a risk having that content online and the only person who should have say in whether the video was made much less uploaded to the internet should be the person having the meltdown. It’s not the same as a lady yelling at a waiter or something like that. It’s not regular “bad behavior”. For me to say it here is to state the obvious but I think that’s why NTs think it’s ok to do stuff like that. It’s not ok to judge someone over something they cannot change. And when they post that video they know it will get negative attention so it’s hard to believe someone would do that out of wanting to legitimately advocate for autistics.
 
They usually empathize because it is a child. I give them full permission to watch one of my meltdowns, but be prepared, they will probably see a 16 year old thrashing around, banging her head against the wall, biting, sobbing, pulling at her hair, and for the finale, wrapping myself into a little ball and shoving myself into a corner somewhere.

They probably won't be as empathetic. Because I am sixteen. It's much scarier when someone who is bigger does it than when a child does it.
 
I don’t know how many people read the full article, but the author points out that children (and adults) cannot consent to being filmed during a meltdown. It teaches them that their consent can be ignored and that people they trust (parents) can and will film them during traumatic, humiliating moments, and there’s nothing they can do about it. He points out that in autistic people this is particularly dangerous.

Excerpt:


Part of the autistic experience (a part which isn’t talked about enough) is being encouraged to believe that everyone else automatically knows better. That your opinion is wrong by default. That if you have one opinion/perspective/experience and a non-autistic person has another, the other person is probably right.

If an autistic child self-advocates by saying “no”, but their refusal is disregarded (or even labelled as “defiant behaviour” by an ABA therapist), then this becomes their typical understanding of the world: that you can say “no” if you want, but adults are allowed to override your wishes.


Imagine you’re the child in the picture above, that you’re being taught to believe that your consent is optional, and others’ feelings take priority over yours. That you should always go along with an adult’s decisions, even if they make you feel deeply uncomfortable.

Now imagine that an abusive family member puts you in a room, gets out a camera and tells you to take off your clothes.


In this situation, how long do you think the autistic child will spend self-advocating before just obeying the adult?

This is the most chilling part of public meltdown videos, and I’m glad I got it out of the way early. When I see a child telling their parents to stop filming, and the parents subsequently ignoring them, I see a child being made more vulnerable to abuse.”

I agree. Children do not have the emotional capacity to decide the ramifications of being filmed as a minor. They may thinking differently at age 24 and wish they hadn't done it. We as parents are expected to be protectors and preserving our child's privacy.
 

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