As sweet as-pie
Well-Known Member
Hi,
I've been with my boyfriend for the past 5 years. I got diagnosed as autistic in 2017 but self-diagnosed in 2016. He didn't really take it seriously until I got my professional diagnosis, and after that, he did his best to understand and learn loads about it so he could be there for me. He's always been an eccentric. I've always joked that he's the most autistic you can get without being autistic. He did the aspie quiz a while back for a laugh and he got neurotypical, so I thought maybe he just was. But then...
When he's upset, he rocks and shakes his leg. He gets very very overwhelmed and freaks out (very much like a meltdown.) He thinks in black and white and if we argue once = everything's ruined.
He gets very fixed on a video game or whatever he's doing, which I know most people would say is just a guy thing but he won't pay me any attention until he's done with the part of the game he's playing.
He's also very obsessed with his guitar. If I tell him not to play it (because of my misophonia) he gets really upset and he just really wants to play it. I'd say it's very much his special interest.
He also has some echolalia and just quotes comedians out of nowhere, in their voice. I've always found this quite endearing...
When we go out, he's always very awkward and his eye contact is stilted. Even around his friends, he seems to be really anxious - eventhough he's not.
He's very bad at communicating how he feels and a lot of the time he says it's because he doesn't actually know. He has commitment issues but even before that, he always made a big deal about needing to be alone. I know I'm stereotyping here but tbh I relate to every part of this.
Tonight he had one of these "meltdowns" and I confronted him saying I thought he just had to be autistic. He told me that when he was a child he was in a special ed class and stimmed and made noises and the teacher told him to stop and asked if he was aware of it. Surely they would have investigated it? I have no idea.
Either way, something has happened so that now, he comes across as neurotypical to everyone apart from those that know him well AND know about autism - which is very few. Isn't it unusual for an autistic guy to pass so well and be so socially conditioned? He just did the AQ and got 31/50 which indicates "some traits = asperger's".
It feels like everything makes sense now... and of course if he is, I can't hold a grudge for anything he's ever done which is excused by him being autistic, but... is it possible for a neurotypical to stim and do all these things? Do neurotypical children make noises? I honestly have no idea.
I've been with my boyfriend for the past 5 years. I got diagnosed as autistic in 2017 but self-diagnosed in 2016. He didn't really take it seriously until I got my professional diagnosis, and after that, he did his best to understand and learn loads about it so he could be there for me. He's always been an eccentric. I've always joked that he's the most autistic you can get without being autistic. He did the aspie quiz a while back for a laugh and he got neurotypical, so I thought maybe he just was. But then...
When he's upset, he rocks and shakes his leg. He gets very very overwhelmed and freaks out (very much like a meltdown.) He thinks in black and white and if we argue once = everything's ruined.
He gets very fixed on a video game or whatever he's doing, which I know most people would say is just a guy thing but he won't pay me any attention until he's done with the part of the game he's playing.
He's also very obsessed with his guitar. If I tell him not to play it (because of my misophonia) he gets really upset and he just really wants to play it. I'd say it's very much his special interest.
He also has some echolalia and just quotes comedians out of nowhere, in their voice. I've always found this quite endearing...
When we go out, he's always very awkward and his eye contact is stilted. Even around his friends, he seems to be really anxious - eventhough he's not.
He's very bad at communicating how he feels and a lot of the time he says it's because he doesn't actually know. He has commitment issues but even before that, he always made a big deal about needing to be alone. I know I'm stereotyping here but tbh I relate to every part of this.
Tonight he had one of these "meltdowns" and I confronted him saying I thought he just had to be autistic. He told me that when he was a child he was in a special ed class and stimmed and made noises and the teacher told him to stop and asked if he was aware of it. Surely they would have investigated it? I have no idea.
Either way, something has happened so that now, he comes across as neurotypical to everyone apart from those that know him well AND know about autism - which is very few. Isn't it unusual for an autistic guy to pass so well and be so socially conditioned? He just did the AQ and got 31/50 which indicates "some traits = asperger's".
It feels like everything makes sense now... and of course if he is, I can't hold a grudge for anything he's ever done which is excused by him being autistic, but... is it possible for a neurotypical to stim and do all these things? Do neurotypical children make noises? I honestly have no idea.