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My Username

FayetheADHDsquirrel

FayetheADHDsquirrel

❔️🔍❔️🧲❔️⚙️❔️🧪Nerd❔️🔬❔️🖋❔️📷❔️📗
V.I.P Member
I think that I should probably change my username since I no longer believe that I really am an Aspie. So many core traits just don't add up. I don't struggle to read people's facial expressions and have even been told that I seem to actually read them better than most neurotypicals. So many of the traits like avoiding eye contact were not my natural self but rather behaviors I learned over my tweens, teens, and in some cases my 20s. The more I regain my original personality, the less I seem Autistic. It feels really weird after being told I had Asperger's by certain individuals ever since I was in my tweens. I am learning that being curious natured and liking science does not always equal autism. I know you can't self diagnose from AI, but a detailed description of my childhood behaviors, strengths, weaknesses, ECT came up with a result of the most likely cause being that I was a 2e child that was gifted and ADHD. Side by side comparisons of common presentations of different conditions and condition combinations continuously come up with results in which the 2e gifted and ADHD sounds like the best fit for how I was as a child not only to myself but also to a family member that I let read the comparison charts. I even questioned different systems which came up with very similar results. How does everyone feel about my being on the forum in light of my recent realizations about myself? If you are ok with me sticking around I'll probably change my username sometime within the next few days.
 
I mean... I am neurotypical, same is Marry Terry if I remember correctly, and many others, I'm sure. This website is for everyone who is interested in autism or just... wants to talk to people about other stuff, autism or not :)
 
FayetheAspie said:
How does everyone feel about my being on the forum in light of my recent realizations about myself?
Click to expand...
The official stance of AutismForums is that you are absolutely welcome here.

My personal stance is that you are a valuable, interesting, and important part of this community for however long you choose to stay. I really enjoy your presence here and would miss your contributions if you chose to leave.

I think the bridge between people who are autistic and those who aren't is an important one to preserve. I appreciate the NTs and non-autistic neurodivergent people that choose to be here. There is so much common ground among us to explore.
 
Here are some of the new usernames I was thinking of. I am leaning towards the bottom one. I like and relate strongly to the "oh look a squirrel" joke about those of us who have ADHD (a diagnosis that I always fit from my earliest memories).

2eFaye
ADHDFaye
FayetheADHDsquirrel
 
I'm a white-belt in Karate, and as Aspergers and as such, I could've used Islam as example, but to by Real - what people call Physical or Material i'll use Karate.

In Karate, i'm white-belt Karateka, aka a noob or Master (😝😎😁). I wish I am a Master and technically i am. God treats me good, through so-called enemies.

The system in Karate is:
0 white belt
1 Yellow belt
2 Orange?
3 Green belt?
...
1 First Dan (blackbelt)
2 Second Dan (blackbelt)
...
10 Dan Black belt (or i call it 10 black belts and Mastery). So 10th Dan recieves a black belt at graduation, but as he washes it due to sweat and cleanliness it becomes white. White like a noob.


So technically a Master or noob doesn't need others. Like a baby has strong instincts and scream and grip and strength. But my experience here with personell is they need to know whom they are dealing with. In my case a Karate noob. It helps them to know what kind of baby i am. And i'm soon 40 but still baby. Big baby.

When I entered Compulsory Treatment as big baby i told the personell: You will be Christian or Muslim.

So we at AF argued that ASD as a social boost ends at 40 y.o. @moderator said that wasn't the case. Or what? ... i feel i'll be left to darkness when i hit 40 y.o. In Arabic the number 40 is important (and we don't have to talk about God). At 40 eventually something will happen to me on a Human level 😎.

My career as Royal Gard might end. I ask x to die/dye me with The Good.

 
FayetheAspie said:
I don't struggle to read people's facial expressions and have even been told that I seem to actually read them better than most neurotypicals. So many of the traits like avoiding eye contact were not my natural self but rather behaviors I learned over my tweens, teens, and in some cases my 20s.
Click to expand...
I'm not going to try to dispute what you think is right but those stereotypes aren't true for a great majority of us. I read faces and body language far more intuitively than I understand the spoken word and I made very good use of that skill over the years. And you can't sell someone a heater in summer if you can't even look them in the eye.

If you look again you'll notice there seems to be two general types of autism. One type is mild autism but comes with extreme social anxiety and often gender dysphoria as well. Then there's a more extreme form which is more commonly associated with higher intellect and special mental abilities.

But only you can decide wether or not any of that fits you, no one knows you better than you.
 
Yes, I definitely would like to see you stick around, no matter where you are with things. I really like what you bring here. You don't have to decide right now, and can take your time taking a look at who you are. I agree that many autistic people don't necessarily have all the signs. I was diagnosed with PDD NOS back when that was a thing. I don't have much of a problem with eye contact. I do have the stims, the social differences, the fixations (isn't there a better term for that? I don't like it for some reason). I very much have repetitive aspects, but not rituals. In the end, you do know yourself better than anyone else, and maybe you can turn this into a bit of an adventure of learning about yourself. In the end I think identity is dynamic and can be hard to classify. But definitely, I hope you'll stick around, no matter who you decide you are. You bring a lot here. And you are also welcome to share what you are learning here.
 
FayetheAspie said:
I think that I should probably change my username since I no longer believe that I really am an Aspie. So many core traits just don't add up. I don't struggle to read people's facial expressions and have even been told that I seem to actually read them better than most neurotypicals.
Click to expand...
I am good at reading body language and facial expressions, also, yet there is no doubt I am on the spectrum.

FayetheAspie said:
So many of the traits like avoiding eye contact were not my natural self but rather behaviors I learned over my tweens, teens, and in some cases my 20s.
Click to expand...
I have absolutely no problem looking into ppl's eyes.
I see it as: Information Harvesting.
I have to stop myself from doing it.

FayetheAspie said:
The more I regain my original personality, the less I seem Autistic. It feels really weird after being told I had Asperger's by certain individuals ever since I was in my tweens. I am learning that being curious natured and liking science does not always equal autism.
Click to expand...
Agreed.

FayetheAspie said:
I know you can't self diagnose from AI, but a detailed description of my childhood behaviors, strengths, weaknesses, ECT came up with a result of the most likely cause being that I was a 2e child that was gifted and ADHD. Side by side comparisons of common presentations of different conditions and condition combinations continuously come up with results in which the 2e gifted and ADHD sounds like the best fit for how I was as a child not only to myself but also to a family member that I let read the comparison charts. I even questioned different systems which came up with very similar results. How does everyone feel about my being on the forum in light of my recent realizations about myself? If you are ok with me sticking around I'll probably change my username sometime within the next few days.
Click to expand...
Begone, foul impostor!
<where the hell did I put my torch and pitchfork? 🤔

I formally request that you stay.
If anyone has a problem with you, they will have to go through me first! :cool:
 
https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-diagnostic-criteria-dsm-5

Looking at the actual diagnostic criteria, it is hard to see how I could count as ASD if I didn't start out with difficulty socializing. When I was little, I was in a program for 8-12 year olds. The tweens who us 8 and 9 year olds would call "big kids" would bully us little kids. Back at that point in my life, I was actually like a bit of a leader figure for the little kids in standing up to the big kids. Later when I was a tween my Dad started really cracking down on me over every little thing and playing a lot of mind games, and harming my Mama. I ended up becoming socially awkward. Things got worse and worse over time and the majority of my stimming behaviors developed during my twenties.
Outdated said:
If you look again you'll notice there seems to be two general types of autism. One type is mild autism but comes with extreme social anxiety and often gender dysphoria as well. Then there's a more extreme form which is more commonly associated with higher intellect and special mental abilities.

But only you can decide wether or not any of that fits you, no one knows you better than you.
Click to expand...
I think a lot of what would appear to be social anxiety has more to do with what is my Dad going to say or do anxiety though admittedly my social skills genuinely declined more and more the longer I let that fear control me. The gender dysphoria bit does not apply to me. I do relate to having high intellect, but ASD isn't necessary to have high intellect.
 
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Tired said:
I mean... I am neurotypical, same is Marry Terry if I remember correctly, and many others, I'm sure. This website is for everyone who is interested in autism or just... wants to talk to people about other stuff, autism or not :)
Click to expand...
While AF is first and foremost for those with autism, we will welcome NTs...
If we must. :p
 
It seems like a lot of traits I associated with autism can go along with giftedness (high intellect) anyway with or without autism. Reading things like this it is hard to see how giftedness with autism vs without autism would be distinguished if naturally occurring social skills deficits and stimming are not necessary to be considered autistic. In that case gifted and autistic would seem to be synonymous and yet apparently that is not the case.
Is My Child Gifted? – Mensa International
 
I should note that it is not my intention to endorse Autism Speaks or Mensa. These are simply sample articles that contained the information I am trying to sort through.
 
Maybe you are a high functioning empathic aspie? I do see autistic traits in you. Women have different traits when it comes to neurodiversity. We are not as rigid in our symptoms as males. Often, as we feel safe and are allowed to heal, allowed to safely love, those traits fade. At least they do with me.
 
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