My mother just tried to exploit my past problems for attention.

[Metalhead]

When I was a sophomore in high school, I wrote a poem that described exactly how depressed I felt because of all of the nonstop bullying I was facing at the public school I was in. At the time I wrote that, my mother read it and did not like it - she said I had tons to be grateful for and that I should write a happy and grateful poem for her. I responded by telling her it was hard for me to feel grateful when I was being physically assaulted on an almost daily basis both at school and at home. My mother started yelling at that response, telling me that there were people who would give anything to be able to walk and that I should just get over being punched around because that kind of bullying meant absolutely nothing in the big scheme of things.

Fast forward to today. My mother cc'ed me in a batch email where she sent that same poem I wrote back when I was a high school sophomore. She introduced the poem in the email with an interesting bit of fiction, claiming that I never told her I was being bullied and that I kept her in the dark about how bad things were at school for me. She then tried to milk it to get some sympathy as the poor unfortunate mother being shut out by her son.

I am not even angry about this anymore. It is so transparent, what she is doing. It is almost comical. She is bringing up and completely rewriting ancient history in order to get people to feel sorry for her. Well, I am not even going to dignify that by directly responding to it. My mother always has known that if she can make me upset, she can use that angle to argue that her calm words should be taken over my angry ones. My mother is now officially a sleazy exploiter of human misery - that must make her feel great about herself.

 

[oregano]

The malignant narcissist always thinks it is about them. They actually DO feel great about themselves as long as they can get back pats of sympathy from others. Any lie is just the cost of doing business, as far as they care. They do not care who they exploit, who they hurt, who they damage, as long as they can make that person into the aggressor and paint themselves as the victim.

How did she find your email address, if you don't mind me asking? I thought you cut your family off. I hope this is a "burner" address that you can abandon if it gets too problematic.

 

[Metalhead]

How did she find your email address, if you don't mind me asking? I thought you cut your family off. I hope this is a "burner" address that you can abandon if it gets too problematic.

She knows where I work and was able to get my work email through my employer's website.

 

[unperson]

!

Have you read up on narcissistic mothers? I had to.

 

[Thinx]

She's malignant isn't she? When you say batch, you mean she's sent/ copied this to others? Are they family members complicit with the abuse? Utterly inappropriate. Can you change your work email, say by using an initial, and keep it off the website? Might have to let work know the issue?

 

[Metalhead]

She's malignant isn't she? When you say batch, you mean she's sent/ copied this to others? Are they family members complicit with the abuse? Utterly inappropriate. Can you change your work email, say by using an initial, and keep it off the website? Might have to let work know the issue?

She sent copies to family, her friends and co-workers, and even some of my co-workers since that is how she rolls.

 

[watersprite]

When someone in my family did a bunch of phone calls similar to your mother’s emails, I had to get really calm and send out a defensive response to everyone. Then I cut the offending person out of my life.