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My introduction

decadentcupcake

New Member
Hello everyone.

Where should I even start... Well I'm a 19-year-old girl who has been suspecting the possibility of being autistic since last July or so. I had been experiencing a burnout and had started noticing my issues with some stimuli as well. A bit odd, but the reason I started taking notice of those things was because I was reading The Stranger by Camus. The main character of that novel experiences very similar things as I do. Mind drifting off in conversations when they aren't of interest, dizziness from bright light and heat, for example. I'm quite depressed right now so I haven't been able to do as much research and introspection as I would like to. I match a lot of the criteria for autism (especially Asperger's or high-functioning, I suppose) and it would explain so many things. So many things I have just started to ignore at some point in my life and tried to erase them from myself because I couldn't understand why I was like this and not like everyone else - and felt ashamed of it. I'm not good at pretending so naturally once I realised my deficiency in communication and social interaction and how I differed from my peers, I started isolating myself from everyone.

I have lurked in a few autism communities in Reddit as well, and... when I read their experiences - especially from childhood - I felt really emotional because they were like me. I could never relate to many of others' childhood memories because mine weren't like theirs at all. I even refused to think of it as a part of myself because I feel so much shame and even contempt towards the way I was and how I acted at times. I couldn't understand why I was like that. For the first time ever, I could accept it.

I'm quite unsure of what to do next. It feels quite obvious to me, that I'm autistic. However, I can't see how getting a diagnosis would help me. I don't really care to do it to validate my feelings and experiences 'officially', somehow either. It's good enough to me that I know myself, my experiences and how I feel. I feel suspicious of outside help. I want to work everything out myself, but yet I feel so helpless at times and my support network is extremely scarce.

Ah well that was a lot... I hope to be able to connect with other autists here, get some kind of peer support... I'm tired of being alone in all this. I think I'm suffering badly from the lack of social interaction too...
 

Xinyta

Lost wandering entity
Glad to have you with us, @Decadent Cupcake

It's going to be long, tough, journey to find what you are looking for and you are not alone in this. Autism, like personalities, uniquely brings out different things to all who have it. Though socail impairment and odd quarks are something we all share in common.

Also a diagnosis by no means is necessary or required. Though getting one can help in small regards as far as opening certain doors in life. Namely in support groups that help with understanding and handling ASD in better ways to function more efficiently in society. Though if you feel you can make due without a diagnosis, there is no one stopping you. There people that don't get it and still have figured out enough to still enjoy life.

Either way, you have come to the right place. We are happy to help anyway we can. I'm sure you'll find things that will help you here~
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and Welcome,

Many choose not to go the diagnosis route for different reasons.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
1701191889767.png
 

The Pandector

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Ha! I went through a late-in-life self diagnosis, so hadn’t re-thought The Stranger. Yeah, an oddly familiar daymare.

Welcome to the forum.
 

Alexej

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
HI @Decadent Cupcake
Love your handle.

What does a decadent cupcake look like (and I am not fishing for a selfie).

Do hang around a bit and get to know us a bit and when you want to join in a thread please do - we dont bite!
 

DaisyRose

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hello, welcome to the forum! Love your profile pic by the way. Doki doki literature club is such a sinister game and a scary way to break the 4th wall. I hope you have a great time here.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Hello and welcome! I hope you enjoy it here and find some of the things you are looking for. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out.
 

decadentcupcake

New Member
Glad to have you with us, @Decadent Cupcake

It's going to be long, tough, journey to find what you are looking for and you are not alone in this. Autism, like personalities, uniquely brings out different things to all who have it. Though socail impairment and odd quarks are something we all share in common.

Also a diagnosis by no means is necessary or required. Though getting one can help in small regards as far as opening certain doors in life. Namely in support groups that help with understanding and handling ASD in better ways to function more efficiently in society. Though if you feel you can make due without a diagnosis, there is no one stopping you. There people that don't get it and still have figured out enough to still enjoy life.

Either way, you have come to the right place. We are happy to help anyway we can. I'm sure you'll find things that will help you here~
Thank you.

It really is. It's extremely comforting to me to know that I'm not alone in this and that there are others like me. Each different and unique of course, but with similar experiences and struggles.

I was a little worried about how self-diagnosis would be taken here. I feel relieved that it's not taken negatively. I do understand how getting officially diagnosed can help, but for now at least, I'll try to manage by myself.

I'm glad I discovered this forum. The members here seem extremely nice, and there are many interesting discussions here as well. I'm sure it will be helpful.
 

decadentcupcake

New Member
HI @Decadent Cupcake
Love your handle.

What does a decadent cupcake look like (and I am not fishing for a selfie).

Do hang around a bit and get to know us a bit and when you want to join in a thread please do - we dont bite!
Hello!
Thank you. A decadent cupcake would have excess amounts of sweetness and icing with refined garnishes, I would imagine...

I definitely will! Everyone here seems extremely friendly and supportive. There are many interesting discussions here as well.
 

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