My dad just screamed at me because I wasn’t answering his question the way he wanted me to

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I’m shaking and currently having a mini meltdown. I’m currently stuck at his house doing his laundry because my stepmom isn’t home. My kitchen is being renovated and expanded and he kept asking me how much bigger it was only by say @from this wall to where is the kitchen bigger?” I didn’t know what exactly what he was asking me and I tried answering while stumbling because I was confused and then he screamed at me for “not answering a simple question.” That was twenty minutes ago and I’m still breathing heavily and shaking. I’m going to make up some excuse as to why I can’t stay for lunch once the laundry is done. I can’t be near him now. Not today. And I’m afraid of how ill feel being around tomorrow at work.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

And now I’ve discovered that I accidentally missed some of his laundry and can’t wash it now because the rest is almost done drying and now I’m afraid he’s going to scream at me for that and say that I am stupid or something for missing it even though it isn’t my fault because the laundry basket is white and there was a white shirt covering up what I missed that blended in with the basket

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m so sorry you were subject to his anger. My father was like that too. I left home and never went back.

 

[TBRS1]

I'm sorry to hear that - it sounds horrible.

Does this sort of thing happen often?

 

[Grondhammar]

I am so so sorry, I know what this feels like. That doesn't make it any easier for you though. I wish I could gather up all of us who experience this into a nice house where it would never ever happen again. Such little, tiny things become such a huge emotional shock... I wish it would stop

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I'm sorry to hear that - it sounds horrible.

Does this sort of thing happen often?

No. I only went to his house because he won’t do his own laundry if my stepmom isn’t home. I have to do mine with his and I don’t like doing it but I can’t let him wearing dirty clothes either. I told him after I folded his laundry that I needed to go home and scrub my tub really well because it was dirty and just left.

 

[Stardust Parade]

My father is like that too. I’m glad I don’t live with him.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I’m shaking and currently having a mini meltdown. I’m currently stuck at his house doing his laundry because my stepmom isn’t home. My kitchen is being renovated and expanded and he kept asking me how much bigger it was only by say @from this wall to where is the kitchen bigger?” I didn’t know what exactly what he was asking me and I tried answering while stumbling because I was confused and then he screamed at me for “not answering a simple question.” That was twenty minutes ago and I’m still breathing heavily and shaking. I’m going to make up some excuse as to why I can’t stay for lunch once the laundry is done. I can’t be near him now. Not today. And I’m afraid of how ill feel being around tomorrow at work.

This highlights the problems with verbal and written language... such a low bandwidth. Maybe... someday... we can communicate telepathically... the high bandwidth language of meaning... to be able to share each other's consciousness during those moments in order to eliminate all the misunderstandings, misinterpretations, questions of intent, emotional content, dialect and language differences... all of it.

I know... wishful thinking. I keep wishing to be taught how to do it... it would make my life a lot easier to navigate.

 

[Misery]

but I can’t let him wearing dirty clothes either.

Why not?

If he's pushing you around, but you are still doing these things for him, that's just going to reward his behavior.

If he wants to act like a snot, maybe let him look like one too.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Why not?

If he's pushing you around, but you are still doing these things for him, that's just going to reward his behavior.

If he wants to act like a snot, maybe let him look like one too.

I agree. You don’t have to do anyone’s laundry except your own and if you have dependent children.