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My dad just screamed at me because I wasn’t answering his question the way he wanted me to

Captain Jigglypuff

Captain Jigglypuff

*On Vacation. Now go away!*
V.I.P Member
I’m shaking and currently having a mini meltdown. I’m currently stuck at his house doing his laundry because my stepmom isn’t home. My kitchen is being renovated and expanded and he kept asking me how much bigger it was only by say @from this wall to where is the kitchen bigger?” I didn’t know what exactly what he was asking me and I tried answering while stumbling because I was confused and then he screamed at me for “not answering a simple question.” That was twenty minutes ago and I’m still breathing heavily and shaking. I’m going to make up some excuse as to why I can’t stay for lunch once the laundry is done. I can’t be near him now. Not today. And I’m afraid of how ill feel being around tomorrow at work.
 
And now I’ve discovered that I accidentally missed some of his laundry and can’t wash it now because the rest is almost done drying and now I’m afraid he’s going to scream at me for that and say that I am stupid or something for missing it even though it isn’t my fault because the laundry basket is white and there was a white shirt covering up what I missed that blended in with the basket
 
I am so so sorry, I know what this feels like. That doesn't make it any easier for you though. I wish I could gather up all of us who experience this into a nice house where it would never ever happen again.💔 Such little, tiny things become such a huge emotional shock... I wish it would stop
 
TBRS1 said:
I'm sorry to hear that - it sounds horrible.

Does this sort of thing happen often?
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No. I only went to his house because he won’t do his own laundry if my stepmom isn’t home. I have to do mine with his and I don’t like doing it but I can’t let him wearing dirty clothes either. I told him after I folded his laundry that I needed to go home and scrub my tub really well because it was dirty and just left.
 
Captain Jigglypuff said:
I’m shaking and currently having a mini meltdown. I’m currently stuck at his house doing his laundry because my stepmom isn’t home. My kitchen is being renovated and expanded and he kept asking me how much bigger it was only by say @from this wall to where is the kitchen bigger?” I didn’t know what exactly what he was asking me and I tried answering while stumbling because I was confused and then he screamed at me for “not answering a simple question.” That was twenty minutes ago and I’m still breathing heavily and shaking. I’m going to make up some excuse as to why I can’t stay for lunch once the laundry is done. I can’t be near him now. Not today. And I’m afraid of how ill feel being around tomorrow at work.
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This highlights the problems with verbal and written language... such a low bandwidth. Maybe... someday... we can communicate telepathically... the high bandwidth language of meaning... to be able to share each other's consciousness during those moments in order to eliminate all the misunderstandings, misinterpretations, questions of intent, emotional content, dialect and language differences... all of it.

I know... wishful thinking. I keep wishing to be taught how to do it... it would make my life a lot easier to navigate. :rolleyes:
 
Misery said:
Why not?

If he's pushing you around, but you are still doing these things for him, that's just going to reward his behavior.

If he wants to act like a snot, maybe let him look like one too.
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I agree. You don’t have to do anyone’s laundry except your own and if you have dependent children.
 
Captain Jigglypuff said:
No. I only went to his house because he won’t do his own laundry if my stepmom isn’t home. I have to do mine with his and I don’t like doing it but I can’t let him wearing dirty clothes either. I told him after I folded his laundry that I needed to go home and scrub my tub really well because it was dirty and just left.
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Who made you his maid.
 
Before I meet my wife always did my own stuff. Even had no furniture in my house, as has no money to purchase. after we meet she lent me money to buy coffee table, I in return helped her upgrade her position two is cheaper than one. She likes cooking I was content to open a can of soup dinner served. I'm starting to see many on here are much younger. Either way fail to plan plan to fail. After I meet my wife she upgraded here education, Now has multiple college diplomas. Retired at the top of the pay grade for her position. Yes It all paid off both of us retired with pensions, paid off home, paid off investment properties. Looking back looked hard, actually was easy.
 
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Had a dad like this too. Always lashed out at me when I needed him to reword something, bashed me for being autistic and wishing I was "better," constantly comparing me to other successful autistic people both in his personal life and in general (lots of points anyone can make against that, yeesh). That was all just for being autistic, there's way more stuff that went down I could share but I won't here.

He sounds like he doesn't know jackcrap about autism in general, and it sounds like he wouldn't care either.
 
Ponka said:
Had a dad like this too. Always lashed out at me when I needed him to reword something, bashed
Captain Jigglypuff said:
I’m shaking and currently having a mini meltdown. I’m currently stuck at his house doing his laundry because my stepmom isn’t home. My kitchen is being renovated and expanded and he kept asking me how much bigger it was only by say @from this wall to where is the kitchen bigger?” I didn’t know what exactly what he was asking me and I tried answering while stumbling because I was confused and then he screamed at me for “not answering a simple question.” That was twenty minutes ago and I’m still breathing heavily and shaking. I’m going to make up some excuse as to why I can’t stay for lunch once the laundry is done. I can’t be near him now. Not today. And I’m afraid of how ill feel being around tomorrow at work.
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me for being autistic and wishing I was "better," constantly comparing me to other successful autistic people both in his personal life and in general (lots of points anyone can make against that, yeesh). That was all just for being autistic, there's way more stuff that went down I could share but I won't here.

He sounds like he doesn't know jackcrap about autism in general, and it sounds like he wouldn't care either.
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I guess it's possible that I'm reading into things, but both of these men sound toxic. It doesn't sound like it's a problem with autistic people. It sounds like it's an issue with toxic/abusive people.
 
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