My Dad does not believe I’m on the spectrum

[Sarajamo]

Hi-

I am 41 years old and have been diagnosed with high functioning autism back in 2020. No one in my family is supportive about except my mom, who has passed. I don’t know how my dad won’t accept it. I am so easily manipulated by people that my family had to get the police and private detectives involved. I cannot break up with people because I don’t like confrontation or yelling. My dad doesn’t understand that I mask my autism. My current psychologist said she can’t give me a written paper I’m on the spectrum because that’s the way the law is. Can someone give me helpful advice. I am so tired of being alone and judged by my family.

Thank you
Sara

 

[NB79]

My parents don't care much to learn about autism, nobody seems in here, for them i think nothing would change much, i am 'still the same person' autism or not , that kind of attitude.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @Sarajamo.

May I ask which country you are in?
Are you living with your dad, or on your own?

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome to the forum. You will feel accepted here.

 

[Sarajamo]

My parents don't care much to learn about autism, nobody seems in here, for them i think nothing would change much, i am 'still the same person' autism or not , that kind of attitude.

I am so sorry. Great attitude.

 

[Sarajamo]

Hello & welcome @Sarajamo.

May I ask which country you are in?
Are you living with your dad, or on your own?

I live in the US in Georgia

 

[Judge]

It's a tragic dynamic I understand all too well. The only two relatives in my social orbit fit only the third category. Consequently I have increasingly less contact with them.

Our difficult reality relative to those we interact with:

* A very few will want to understand and succeed.
* A few more will want to understand and fail.
* With the vast remainder being indifferent, expecting- even demanding that we conform to their patterns of thought and socialization. Even if and when we neurologically are incapable of doing so.

Autism in itself is a difficult thing for most people to understand, whether one wants to or not even bother. Regardless of how close our bonds with others may be based upon by blood, friendship or love.

 

[VictorR]

My current psychologist said she can’t give me a written paper I’m on the spectrum because that’s the way the law is.

It sounds like they're misunderstanding HIPPA law.

They have a professional obligation to not disclose client info information unless medically necessary or legally required to, but if a client asks and provides clear and informed consent, they can release info, especially if it's to the client themselves.

 

[Crossbreed]

I live in the US in Georgia

I have kids that do not accept my diagnosis. My mom is not unkind, but she has no concept of level-1 autism.

Are you on disability, or employed?

 

[Judge]

It sounds like they're misunderstanding HIPPA law.

They have a professional obligation to not disclose client info information unless medically necessary or legally required to, but if a client asks and provides clear and informed consent, they can release info, especially if it's to the client themselves.

That's my understanding as well. See "patient authorization" when it comes to exceptions to HIPPA terms and conditions regarding confidentiality.

"You can provide written authorization for your provider to release specific information to a person or entity of your choosing."

Mental Health Confidentiality Laws and Their Exceptions

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hi-

I am 41 years old and have been diagnosed with high functioning autism back in 2020. No one in my family is supportive about except my mom, who has passed. I don’t know how my dad won’t accept it. I am so easily manipulated by people that my family had to get the police and private detectives involved. I cannot break up with people because I don’t like confrontation or yelling. My dad doesn’t understand that I mask my autism. My current psychologist said she can’t give me a written paper I’m on the spectrum because that’s the way the law is. Can someone give me helpful advice. I am so tired of being alone and judged by my family.

Thank you
Sara

I can think of a long list of reasons why "Boomer" parents would not accept an autism diagnosis. I lived through that myself. As a result, I no longer have contact with my family. After the initial wave of guilt, I realized I was much happier without all the stress and tension in my life.

I guess you have to decide which is the worse of two evils in your life...being alone or being judged by your family.

I could never talk to my parents...about anything...even as an adult in my 50's. I was always seen as their child and children were to be seen and not heard.

My guess is that even if you obtained a copy of your psychologist's records yourself and handed it over to your parents, they would reject it immediately, accusing you of seeing some sort of "quack" doctor and how you were a gullible victim of your own stupidity. Keep in mind, they have had, in your case, 40 years to come up with a "moral diagnosis" of their own. They probably aren't going to listen to reason.

 

[Crossbreed]

My children who reject my diagnosis have a real sense of "pecking order."
ASD1 is characterized by a lack of social instinct. We tend to be oblivious to such.
To the uninitiated NT, we appear to flout their "rules."

 

[Mary Terry]

I live in the US in Georgia

Welcome, neighbor! I'm in Mississippi.

 

[Judge]

My guess is that even if you obtained a copy of your psychologist's records yourself and handed it over to your parents, they would reject it immediately, accusing you of seeing some sort of "quack" doctor and how you were a gullible victim of your own stupidity. Keep in mind, they have had, in your case, 40 years to come up with a "moral diagnosis" of their own. They probably aren't going to listen to reason.

Tragically this reminds me of my cousin who lives here across town. Despite having more than 20 years of experience in the healthcare insurance industry, she steadfastly believes autism is a matter or attitude rather than neurology.

I suspect she would have a similar reaction and rejection of such results, even if validated by a medical professional. It's both baffling and very sad to me, given her occupational understanding of many medical conditions. A type of prejudice...which is irrational but very much part of her life.

"Moral Diagnosis". Never heard that term before, but it sure fits this scenario.

And we're both "Boomers" with me about a year older than she. Go figure. Reminds me of that old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it."