My aspie bf

[paloftoon]

It might be futile to try to build platonic, I have experienced severe problems with keeping platonic even if it was clear to me that it wasn't a good relationship, the only way to escape when I was so desperately seeking love and attracted to him so much was to break all contact and keep reminding myself i have to not return to the person, but at that point Original Poster must be self-assured its not a healthy relationship and he is not actually going to change even if he tries to, and that she owes him nothing. Which for me was nearly impossible to do without knowledge and outside help, but also real proof he was cheating on me which i wasn't able to get myself, but my friend did.

In your case and as for most people, platonic doesn't work. Usually the break up has to be mutual, or the emotions have to be in a way that people can eventually accept things as they may turn out. It is not likely, but possible.

I am personally very platonic with an ex whom chose to break up with me. Of course, I will always miss some of those pleasant, steamy moments, but looking back, communication between both of us definitely should've been better and trust on my part. Even though it's not totally my fault with the trust thing because of how I was raised, it doesn't make it much easier to lose such potential quality.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Don't trust anyone, when I open up I get clingy, when others open up after intimacy I push em away and don't let them in, its a vicious cycle.

 

[paloftoon]

Don't trust anyone, when I open up I get clingy, when others open up after intimacy I push em away and don't let them in, its a vicious cycle.

I partially disagree with this. It's good to be cautious, but you have to take educated risks in life too. Otherwise, you're going to end up with no one because they you're saying even to people that could be a match that they are not worthwhile for you to spend each others' time with. Get to know a person. If you don't have a reason to be distrustful, then don't assume to be distrustful. You can make recommendations such as let us meet in a public place, and let's have separate checks or split checks before ordering at a restaurant. If the other person doesn't initiate such things, sometimes you should just to protect yourself. But don't just like "not meet up at all" unless you feel like it.

Someone willing to plan provides more safety and respect for all parties involved too. Reciprocative communication and each person's questions answered too helps a lot. Of course, these aren't necessarily hard and fast rules and people can be human and miss stuff. But these are good guidelines you can use to help you out.