May Black
Well-Known Member
This question is directed mainly to the NT-Aspie couples around, though I appreciate any input.
How do you deal with meeting your NT partner's parents, siblings etc?
Do you have any useful tips for me?
I took my boyfriend to meet my family for the first time, and it didn't go particularly well. I planned it so that there wouldn't be too many people at once and made sure to give him breaks during the day, but he hardly spoke to anyone. My family is rather social and entertaining, and joke a lot, he'd smile sometimes, but never really went on with it the way he does with me or his friends. He was having a flue during his visit, but generally other than needing rest more often I had never noticed any change in his behavior when he's ill.
It saddens me, those are some of the most important people in my life, and while I can accept that he's really not particularly interested in meeting them, and that it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me, I know they were very eager to meet him. I can see how much effort they put into trying to make a connection where he comes across as bored and uninterested. I played most of it off as him having a flue, but it's been the same with my friends in the past and I'm concerned that it won't work any better next time. They didn't dislike him, but my dad outright told me I was crazy and it would never last, though he could see I was happy right now. It's difficult for me to explain to them why they shouldn't worry, if he cannot be the man he's with me even around them.
I guess, overall it went about as poorly as I expected. It could have been worse, I was hoping for better. I'm not sure he understands why this is actually a problem for me. I found myself completely drained at the end of the visit, I had no patience left for him, I was so angry I didn't even talk to him at the airport.
How do you deal with meeting your NT partner's parents, siblings etc?
Do you have any useful tips for me?
I took my boyfriend to meet my family for the first time, and it didn't go particularly well. I planned it so that there wouldn't be too many people at once and made sure to give him breaks during the day, but he hardly spoke to anyone. My family is rather social and entertaining, and joke a lot, he'd smile sometimes, but never really went on with it the way he does with me or his friends. He was having a flue during his visit, but generally other than needing rest more often I had never noticed any change in his behavior when he's ill.
It saddens me, those are some of the most important people in my life, and while I can accept that he's really not particularly interested in meeting them, and that it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me, I know they were very eager to meet him. I can see how much effort they put into trying to make a connection where he comes across as bored and uninterested. I played most of it off as him having a flue, but it's been the same with my friends in the past and I'm concerned that it won't work any better next time. They didn't dislike him, but my dad outright told me I was crazy and it would never last, though he could see I was happy right now. It's difficult for me to explain to them why they shouldn't worry, if he cannot be the man he's with me even around them.
I guess, overall it went about as poorly as I expected. It could have been worse, I was hoping for better. I'm not sure he understands why this is actually a problem for me. I found myself completely drained at the end of the visit, I had no patience left for him, I was so angry I didn't even talk to him at the airport.