Maybe I don't have prolems relating to people...

[pax]

I might simply have problems dealing with arseholes.

I was reading the thread on connecting. It was very interesting., but to avoid hijacking the thread, I am making a new one.

I am experiencing problems with certain people at my place of work. Not the first time this has happened. Not the first job this has happened in. I am basically a pretty smart, educated, and hard - working employee. (At least I used to be, I'm seeing lately that being hardworking, as well as not being a benefit, in some situations can be a hindrance).

I've found that some people will take advantage of this, as it allows them to slacken off, be disorganised, or work unsafely, as pax will be there to do it for them. I've also found that some workplaces are like medieval villages populated by 14 year old girls - if you haven't lived in their little community for 5 generations, go to their church, know so and so, and watch reality TV every night - it doesn't matter how, smart educated, or good at your job you are - you are going to be on the outer and/or a scape goat.

Here's the thing. Last weekend I worked the polls at our federal election, to get money, experience and something else on my resume. My husband, not without justification, was worried how I would cope , as it is a VERY long day, and a lot of contact with the public. I shared some of his apprehension. It was a long day,almost non- stop, about 2500 people through the doors between 8 and 6 , and over 4 hours of counting.

But I coped fine. I was tired at the end of it , but the people I worked with were great - some had done it before, some, like me had not, but everyone was there to get the job done. There was only one or two members of the public that were obnoxious or hostile - most just recognised that it was something everyone had to do, we were doing a job, and got on with it. Some were very friendly and had a chat or a joke. (Voting is compulsory in Australia)

So at the end of the day I was tired, but kind of elated. Maybe I'm just hanging around the wrong people.

 

[pax]

I just saw this from warmheart

A strong sense of justice is often an ASD feature. The trick is very carefully considering wether information could hurt or upset another, or if giving such info could put you in danger.

It is possible to lose one's safety, home, job, and friends by mindlessly saying "the truth as we see it."
Not that this is right, but that some people are defensive of their secrets and will unleash repercussions if you expose those secrets, or call them on their crap, or state something which goes against what psychology calls "the writing on their wall." (These are the lies we all tell ourselves)

In practice, as a socially clueless autistic, I cannot possibly know when I am going to say or expose something which will enfuriate someone who is defensive and psychologically unstable. I need to choose my friends wisely.

I think it's about doing the best we can to balance honesty with kindness, surrounding ourselves with people who are stable psychologically, and just accepting we may never be able to fully intuit the "unwritten rules."

Yep, that's me.

 

[paloftoon]

Pax, people don't always make sense and dealing with emotions is never easy even for an NT! The best thing we can do is learn as much as we can and continue to deal with each situation as it comes along to the best of our ability. All people have some kind of issue, and sometimes we don't even want to know, especially at work. Because if we do know and have to deal with it, and if we aren't already friends with that person, then it may be best to privately ask them to talk to a counselor or HR (if applicable) if you don't feel you can answer their concerns.