I have a heck of a time looking someone in the eyes for more than a second or two without it feeling overwhelming. I always have to look away to talk. My psychologist suggested maybe I could practise looking at someone in the eyes to get better at it. That's like asking someone to practise listening to nails scaping a chalkboard to get more relaxed with the horrid sound.
As a child I didn't like being touched. I even had nightmares about it. My mother said I would cry even louder if she tried to pick me up when I was a baby crying. Light touch is the worst. Firm touch is okay.
This is going to sound disgusting but...I hate taking a shower. I like being clean and don't like being dirty but I hate taking a shower so much that I can go a week without getting clean. (Baths are even worse). I don't like the change from being dressed, then I am not dressed, then I am being pummeled with water droplets, then I'm washing, drying... I don't like the sensory changes.
I feel the things I see...literally. When I see the wheels turning on a car, I literally feel the motion of the wheel as if I was the wheel. It's true for everything I pay attention to - I don't have any sight without a physical sensation. I feel the movement of people's arms and legs, the leaves moving on a tree etc.
My least favorite date is going to a restaurant. I don't like taking a bite of food only to look up and find someone's face staring at me. I prefer to eat alone.
But I do like people and although I have difficulty forming friendships because I've never been able to figure out how to go about it - I have still had a few very close friendships over the years. People usually think I'm quirky but funny and in general I have a nice disposition. In terms of sensory things driving me nuts, I expend a lot of energy hiding it.
Every evening I find myself mentally reviewing my social intereactions for the day - trying to figure out what people meant and if my response was appropriate to the situation. I seem to do it automatically - just trying to figure out how to better fit in.
I was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago and learning disabilities and have a daughter with ADHD and recently diagnosed ASD. Even tho I am old, I'm thinking of checking out a ASD diagnosis for myself. But I do - at my age (69) - feel embarrassed to be asking about it.
As a child I didn't like being touched. I even had nightmares about it. My mother said I would cry even louder if she tried to pick me up when I was a baby crying. Light touch is the worst. Firm touch is okay.
This is going to sound disgusting but...I hate taking a shower. I like being clean and don't like being dirty but I hate taking a shower so much that I can go a week without getting clean. (Baths are even worse). I don't like the change from being dressed, then I am not dressed, then I am being pummeled with water droplets, then I'm washing, drying... I don't like the sensory changes.
I feel the things I see...literally. When I see the wheels turning on a car, I literally feel the motion of the wheel as if I was the wheel. It's true for everything I pay attention to - I don't have any sight without a physical sensation. I feel the movement of people's arms and legs, the leaves moving on a tree etc.
My least favorite date is going to a restaurant. I don't like taking a bite of food only to look up and find someone's face staring at me. I prefer to eat alone.
But I do like people and although I have difficulty forming friendships because I've never been able to figure out how to go about it - I have still had a few very close friendships over the years. People usually think I'm quirky but funny and in general I have a nice disposition. In terms of sensory things driving me nuts, I expend a lot of energy hiding it.
Every evening I find myself mentally reviewing my social intereactions for the day - trying to figure out what people meant and if my response was appropriate to the situation. I seem to do it automatically - just trying to figure out how to better fit in.
I was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago and learning disabilities and have a daughter with ADHD and recently diagnosed ASD. Even tho I am old, I'm thinking of checking out a ASD diagnosis for myself. But I do - at my age (69) - feel embarrassed to be asking about it.
