Looking for a different culture

[GregorSamsonite]

Hello,

I was recently officially diagnosed at age 40. For background, I’m a non-binary AMAB person, born in the midwest USA and moved to the west coast at age 30. I have good job security in a highly skilled technical/creative field, and I used to have friends and a whole community, until suddenly I didn’t. Now I’m not sure that I ever had friends to begin with. (I might explain this more later, but right now I have other issues I want to address.)

I always knew I was different, but only because of how poorly people treated me. I've lived my entire life in the USA, which, broadly speaking, amounts to a culture that I never wanted to be a part of and that clearly doesn't want me anyway. I find the fact that everything has to be an aggressive competition, even relationships, to be incredibly juvenile and repugnant. I've known far too many narcissists to count, and at this point in my life I'm done with the destroyers. I know narcissists are everywhere, but I also know that this varies among cultures, as does how autism is received by so-called neurotypicals within a given culture. Considering the long game in the US, and with how it treats autism specifically, it’s past time I moved on from here.

Recently I’ve been reading about how Finland is sometimes referred to as “autistic heaven” which is kind of funny, but also whatever, at this point I’ll take it. I’m sure this is not strictly true, and I’ve read more than once that it’s nearly impossible to find professional guidance or therapy for autism in Finland. But then I come from the US healthcare system, where it’s virtually impossible to find professional help for anything, so that’s nothing new. My first therapist ghosted me after 4 years, and good riddance since she never figured out I was autistic. I started seeing a new therapist recently, and after the third or fourth time she burst out laughing after I had just told her something traumatic I’d experienced, I figured that was enough.

I’ve wasted half my life trying to please the worst people I’ve ever known. For once I am choosing to do something for myself. I want to get the hell out of dodge and move somewhere where I can relax for once in my life. I have dual citizenship with another country in the EU, so I can move to Finland without a visa. My hope is to live there long enough to establish citizenship. Beyond the autism-friendlier culture of people minding their own business and generally not constantly trying to undermine and destroy you at every turn, and the more efficient and less corrupt bureaucracy (or so I’ve been told,) I’d also much prefer the more northerly climate of Finland. And as someone whose only safe place as a child was being alone in the woods, I was very pleased to learn that forest-going is a favorite pastime in Finland. (I am so ready to learn foraging.)

So here are my questions for anyone who knows about this and wants to join the convo, and please redirect me to a different forum/thread if there’s a better place to chat about this.

• To any Fins on here, does my description of Finland as being “autism-friendlier” sound right to you? Why or why not?
• Are there any American expats living in Finland here? Would love to hear what brought you to Finland and how your experience has been.
• To either of these groups, if you have any know-how, resources or tips on how to prepare to move there, I’d love to get the ball rolling. I’m hoping to establish some connections within an autistic community there first and then visit for a few weeks sometime next year. If all goes well, I can commit to the move.

Thanks all, looking forward to your responses.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome to the forum.

I have no direct knowledge of Finland, but I did notice traveling in Europe last summer people were much more polite and helpful. If I had the ability, I would like to emigrate to a European country.

You might want to consider making an extended visit first to check it out before making a big move.

 

[Outdated]

For once I am choosing to do something for myself. I want to get the hell out of dodge and move somewhere where I can relax for once in my life.

Having citizenship in a place like Finland is a boon, I think you should grab that opportunity with both hands. Get out while you still can. There's lots of countries around the world where you'll be better off than in the US, financially as well as emotionally.

As a general rule of thumb guide - any nation that is dominated by religion is also dominated by racism, bigotry, narcissism and corruption in government. It doesn't matter which religion, they all achieve the exact same thing, a demand for uniformity and little to no tolerance of anything outside of the ordinary.

Another thing you'll enjoy in Finland, and in many other countries too:

 

[Neonatal RRT]

But then I come from the US healthcare system, where it’s virtually impossible to find professional help for anything, so that’s nothing new. My first therapist ghosted me after 4 years, and good riddance since she never figured out I was autistic. I started seeing a new therapist recently, and after the third or fourth time she burst out laughing after I had just told her something traumatic I’d experienced, I figured that was enough.

You didn't know you were autistic, so it makes sense that you didn't know to seek out a therapist that specializes in adult autism. They are out there, especially out on the east and west coast of the US. We have them in the Midwest, as well... I am from Grand Rapids, Michigan and didn't have a difficult time finding mine.