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Loneliness and nothing else...
- Thread starter painfully
- Start date
After trying reddit for several weeks... It was the last thing I had left to try... Im getting to the idea that Im done now, ready to suicide... I hope I will do it in a few months... I thought id last more after finding reddit, but no...
I have feeling this deep emptiness loneliness pain since I was a teen an the suicide feeling was going with it because of obvious reasons. Im not an idiot and I know my chances are almost zero...
I just want to cry and give up... I wish I could do it painlessly...
I have feeling this deep emptiness loneliness pain since I was a teen an the suicide feeling was going with it because of obvious reasons. Im not an idiot and I know my chances are almost zero...
I just want to cry and give up... I wish I could do it painlessly...
Please don't. Your life matters. Call 988 or get to an emergency room.
Have you tried volunteering at a nursing home? Many elderly people are lonely and would love spending time with a young man. If you live near a city, soup kitchens are another good place to socialize with others. Looking for others in a similar situation as yourself (lonely and in need of friends) greatly increases your odds of finding friends to ease your loneliness. Given your emotional suffering, you should definitely consult a psychiatrist or therapist. Besides therapy, talking to a therapist who understands your situation can also help you feel less alone.
Many people are happily single. Having a few friends, or even one good friend, is sufficient to avoid feeling lonely. I know it's not the same as a close romantic relationship with a woman but it can be good enough to meet your needs especially with therapy to change the way you think about it.
I tried talking to friends. After talking to them and trusting them and being accepted and ****, they just go away to do their **** or with their bf's, and I feel absolutely betrayed and like ****.
And I cannot have other types of friends like superficial ones cause I dont care about that and it wouldnt help...
Im not saying I need this cause I want it or I chose it, Im saying I need this cause I have no alternative, as pathetic as it is
And I cannot have other types of friends like superficial ones cause I dont care about that and it wouldnt help...
Im not saying I need this cause I want it or I chose it, Im saying I need this cause I have no alternative, as pathetic as it is
I understand how you feel @painfully. However, many people who think they needed something to be happy found out that it wasn't necessary after going through therapy to change their mindset, attitude, beliefs, and thinking patterns. A therapist can probably help you more than anyone on this forum since they went to school to learn how to help people in your situation. If you can't get an appointment to see a therapist right away, there is probably a suicide hotline you can call to get help.
If you're determined to find that relationship you desire despite not being successful after 20 years of searching, you're probably going to have to search in places you haven't looked yet. This might mean going to a group for people with special needs, autism, or depression/mental illness. You might have to settle for a woman who is older (50+), obese, or disabled. I realize that might not appeal to you but it may be your only option currently. Fortunately, therapy can help make you more appealing/desirable to women, which can allow you to attract women more to your liking.
If you're determined to find that relationship you desire despite not being successful after 20 years of searching, you're probably going to have to search in places you haven't looked yet. This might mean going to a group for people with special needs, autism, or depression/mental illness. You might have to settle for a woman who is older (50+), obese, or disabled. I realize that might not appeal to you but it may be your only option currently. Fortunately, therapy can help make you more appealing/desirable to women, which can allow you to attract women more to your liking.
Something05
Member
I relate to not having any interests. At least, I’m not passionate about anything.
maleonolo
Active Member
Does that mean most guys feel like life is not worth living if they're not in a relationship?
I think be lonely or being alone are two different things. People want to be friends with those who have passions or special interests. I met one lifetime friend in a exercise class, and we were both passionate about this class. I met my husband because we loved the ocean, movies, and food. So cultivating hobbies, even just one hobby may open the door to friendship, and maybe something more. Nothing magically shows up and says hey, it's me, l am here. We have to go out and create connections. But because the social platform is our cellphone, many people never get off their phone to make that human connection, which causes a lot of men to be single. Many women work and don't care to do much else. When l worked 40 hour week, l was tired when l finally came home. So there are lots of reasons you aren't meeting women, and it isn't based on you at all.
So right. As a young adult I did not know how to create opportunities to meet people, and especially women. Pursuing my interests was one thing that helped me to learn how to be social and engage with people. I still stumble socially, but I enjoy how caring the people I do activities with are. Yesterday when the B-tension screw on my derailleur completely stripped and I had to try a fix, I was lagging as the bike group all passed me. When they saw a ranger cycling on the trail, they had him check up on me (I didn't need help by then). Then, earlier this month I did a rock collecting road trip with a person from the bike club I knew. We had a fun time, prospecting, having adventures on bad roads hundreds of miles from anything, collecting a lot of interesting things, plus it is his first time out West, so I was able to provide geological context for the landscapes. Now, back with our finds, including agatized dinosaur poop, he is going to teach me lapidary skills to create a belt buckle and replacing the facing on a knife frame with material I found.
I heartily endorse using interests to learn the social and gain friends. Don't let your ego get in the way of connection and manage your expectations so that you are accepting of all the rough spots life throws at you. This certainly led to my meeting and attracting my spouse.
A girl in reddit messaged me cause she said she liked sensitive and needy men like me... We talked briefly... I was opening myself and telling her stuff and she seemed to accept me... Then I said about exchanging pics and I sent mine and she went into radio silence.. It was 2 AM, maybe she went to sleep in that moment... I left it... After several hours I insisted and I opened myself a bit more... And next day, today, I see that she blocked me...
This one did hurt... It usually doesnt hurt much, just a bit, cause I dnt have hopes.... But this one gave me hope... And the rejection defeated me... Yet again... I just want to cry... Nobody wants me...
This one did hurt... It usually doesnt hurt much, just a bit, cause I dnt have hopes.... But this one gave me hope... And the rejection defeated me... Yet again... I just want to cry... Nobody wants me...
I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm so old that online dating, etc. did not exist until after I was married but, from what I read about it, it is often an unpleasant experience.
Today's your birthday and you deserve to do something really nice for yourself today.
Happy birthday!
LOL.
Some people don't like sending pics shortly after they meet someone online (especially if they struggle with anxiety). Requesting a pic may give some people the impression that their appearance is your primary concern. People like it when others value them for who they are as a person, not because they are attracted to their body.
Have you tried lowering your standards? Documentaries show that homeless people with serious drug addictions and mental health problems (which I think most people would consider very undesirable qualities) have friends and romantic relationships. Therefore, I think it is very unlikely that nobody wants you. Your lack of success may simply be due to you limiting your search to women who are out of your league.
when you talk about "league" you are implying to play the game. i cannot and will not play the game... if you play the game you are going by the rules of the game... which are basically to find a normal relationship, one where you cant really fully trust the other one, hide your bad side and stuff... and also, i cant even play the game if i wanted due to my many flaws...
also, i couldnt ever know if "she was in my league" if i didnt know anything about her... thats precisely why exchange pics
im not sure what i said, but i said to exchange pics and she was ok with it. i sent mine and she stopped replying... and itry to read the conversation too. i dont ask for exchanging pics out of the blue, i only do it if the other person seems open enough and "not offendable" enough... i know that some ppl get offended at the smallest stuff
also, i couldnt ever know if "she was in my league" if i didnt know anything about her... thats precisely why exchange pics
im not sure what i said, but i said to exchange pics and she was ok with it. i sent mine and she stopped replying... and itry to read the conversation too. i dont ask for exchanging pics out of the blue, i only do it if the other person seems open enough and "not offendable" enough... i know that some ppl get offended at the smallest stuff
I'm not referring to playing any games to get a partner. Most people want the best partner they can get, which means you have to be better (more desirable from the other person's perspective) than other partners available to that person. Therefore, if you only approach women who have better options available, you will never succeed.
Women often have multiple men approach them for dates, which means they often have a better idea about the type of men they can attract. Men who don't have women approach them for dates sometimes have no idea what kind of women they can attract. This can result in men overestimating their desirability, leading them to only approach women with good personalities or above-average attractiveness who have much better options available, resulting in them never getting a date. I see this often with "incels." These men, who have very undesirable qualities (2/10 in terms of desirability), only approach women who are 7/10 or better, then blame women for their "involuntary" celibacy. They remain single because they refuse to work on themselves and refuse to consider women perceived as less desirable.
If she's not interested, it means she thinks she has better options available. You can get a better idea of the type of women you can attract by casting a wider net. Ask out women who are older, heavier, or less attractive than women you usually approach. Try asking out women who have qualities (such as a disability or mental illness) that other men perceive as less desirable.
