Loneliness and nothing else...

[painfully]

Im extremely lonely and it hurts a lot...

 

[painfully]

After trying reddit for several weeks... It was the last thing I had left to try... Im getting to the idea that Im done now, ready to suicide... I hope I will do it in a few months... I thought id last more after finding reddit, but no...

I have feeling this deep emptiness loneliness pain since I was a teen an the suicide feeling was going with it because of obvious reasons. Im not an idiot and I know my chances are almost zero...

I just want to cry and give up... I wish I could do it painlessly...

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

Please don't. Your life matters. Call 988 or get to an emergency room.

 

[Matthias]

After trying reddit for several weeks... It was the last thing I had left to try... Im getting to the idea that Im done now, ready to suicide... I hope I will do it in a few months... I thought id last more after finding reddit, but no...

I have feeling this deep emptiness loneliness pain since I was a teen an the suicide feeling was going with it because of obvious reasons. Im not an idiot and I know my chances are almost zero...

I just want to cry and give up... I wish I could do it painlessly...

Have you tried volunteering at a nursing home? Many elderly people are lonely and would love spending time with a young man. If you live near a city, soup kitchens are another good place to socialize with others. Looking for others in a similar situation as yourself (lonely and in need of friends) greatly increases your odds of finding friends to ease your loneliness. Given your emotional suffering, you should definitely consult a psychiatrist or therapist. Besides therapy, talking to a therapist who understands your situation can also help you feel less alone.

 

[painfully]

Im not that kind of lonely... That would be a massive waste of effort in exchange of more pointless suffering.
It would be nice to have a very bad job like that or worse... It would definitely give me strength to die...

 

[Matthias]

Many people are happily single. Having a few friends, or even one good friend, is sufficient to avoid feeling lonely. I know it's not the same as a close romantic relationship with a woman but it can be good enough to meet your needs especially with therapy to change the way you think about it.

 

[painfully]

I tried talking to friends. After talking to them and trusting them and being accepted and ****, they just go away to do their **** or with their bf's, and I feel absolutely betrayed and like ****.

And I cannot have other types of friends like superficial ones cause I dont care about that and it wouldnt help...

Im not saying I need this cause I want it or I chose it, Im saying I need this cause I have no alternative, as pathetic as it is

 

[Matthias]

I understand how you feel @painfully. However, many people who think they needed something to be happy found out that it wasn't necessary after going through therapy to change their mindset, attitude, beliefs, and thinking patterns. A therapist can probably help you more than anyone on this forum since they went to school to learn how to help people in your situation. If you can't get an appointment to see a therapist right away, there is probably a suicide hotline you can call to get help.

If you're determined to find that relationship you desire despite not being successful after 20 years of searching, you're probably going to have to search in places you haven't looked yet. This might mean going to a group for people with special needs, autism, or depression/mental illness. You might have to settle for a woman who is older (50+), obese, or disabled. I realize that might not appeal to you but it may be your only option currently. Fortunately, therapy can help make you more appealing/desirable to women, which can allow you to attract women more to your liking.