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Little one

H

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Hi everyone,

I have a couple of questions concerning naivety and youthfulness in Aspies.

When I'm around people (friends, strangers, just people) I'm always treated as if I'm 5 years younger than them, even though we're the same age, or at most 2 years apart; it gets quite annoying. I'm short at 5"314, but surely that can't have much to do with it? One of them who is about 6-7 months older than me and about 0.5 inches taller then me actually calls me "little one", and another friend has started too. I eventually asked them why, and she gave a vague answer of "mentally" younger. Does that mean they regard me as unintelligent? I get higher test marks than both these people.
Sometimes I say something which, to me sounds normal, and they'll go "awwww" as if to a little kid. And basically just in their general demeanor they treat me as a much younger person, they pat me on the head, etc.

I recall having read somewhere that aspies sometimes come across as naive, or immature. Is this correct?

Thanks! :)

H.
 
Ugh I know the feeling. People are always saying that I'm so innocent. I feel like it's my lack of assertiveness and confidence. I can't stand not being taken seriously.
 
Don't worry, I get that too and I'm 6'0". I think it's a vibe we put out. I remember once I went with and older friend to a haunted corn maze on Halloween I was 25 and she was 40. When we got to the counter for tickets the woman asked "one adult one child?". I think of it as an endearing quality. I know all my friends know I am more intelligent. I think aspies never loose their inner child and that shows in how we come across to NT's
 
The general social naivete we often possess probably has more to do with it than height or anything else, probably.
 
16 and holding...At your age,peer pressure is a nasty event...I would ignore it and be who you know you are...To go back to the simpler times of my youth would be something I would personally cherish of I could return with what I know now...If life hands you a pile of crap,sell it for fertilizer and smile knowing you were the one who really won the game...as far as intellect is concerned,it really has nothing to do with how old you are,or what the perception of others have of you...If you are a true star,you will always shine brightly ;)...make sure everyone has sunglasses...they are going to need 'em to look at you unless they are already blind ...:cool:
 
I agree with Saragrl that it is endearing. What I hear in your story is that you have friends that really like and accept you. That seems to be what most of us want but have trouble achieving. I would choose to accept your role in this group of friends and run with it.
Growing up, my friends (when I used to have some), would call me "Adequate". This felt degrading in a way, but I understood that they meant no harm, and that it was meant to be funny and cute. It was because my teachers always said that I had so much potential, but just did the minimum to get by, so I was adequate.
I also agree that we retain our inner child, or naivete and so we seem to most to be more youthful in spirit. This is a good thing.
 
Thanks everyone for your replies, they make sense. :)
It probably doesn't help that I ask a lot of questions about things that they find obvious, without meaning to.
I suppose it does come in handy; I get child rates with most things. ;)

Thank you!

H.
 
We Aspies tend to appear years younger than we are. I am also very small & slim. People think that I am my son's date when we are seen together. At some store, the saleswoman thought that I was my son's younger sister. He is 25 & I turn 50 this year. It is ridiculous. Add to that our less than stellar social acumen & wide eyed Aspie stare & I can see why this happens to us.
 
Sportster said:
My physical appearance is starting to catch up with my actual age; there's no hiding the grey beard. However, I have always been looked at and treated much younger than my age. Saragirl may be right about "a vibe we put out." I'm probably worldlier than most having seen and experienced things that most do not in a lifetime, but at the same time I'm very naive and immature. A few years ago I was in a "situation" where the others involved were treating me as though I were much younger or (for lack of a better term) retarded; with the exception of one, I was older than they were. I no longer have contact with them because of it.
Click to expand...
The gray in out beards signifies a passage of time that has enabled us to make better decisions,not just a sign of age in years...I really hope my childhood never ends...being all grown up sounds offensive and boring
 
My ex often 'complained' that she dreaded going out and about with me as people thought she had a 'toy boy' :rolleyes:

As I hurtle towards my dotage I am eternally grateful for the youthfulness of being an aspi ;)
 
I guess as I age I will start to view it as a good thing. Just not now. :)

I'm tired of being treated as if I'm stupid. I thought getting straight A's would fix that, but it doesn't. :P
 
I think it's a vibe that we put out really. I feel younger, I talk like a younger person so it stands to reason that other people will treat me like a younger person too. I don't really have much of a problem with it.
 
I don't mind being treated as younger so much as dumber, I guess. Objectively speaking, I guess I do act young. And I don't understand things like jokes and innuendo that they understand.
The more I think about this, the more I realise it's probably me, not them. If I act stupid, then they'll treat me accordingly.
 
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