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Little angel and mermaid syndrome

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
My step-sister was little angel, when my dad first married they entered our lives....I was to behold at first that their family never one day in life cleaned own house, so from day 1 the unfairness started and she would sit and flick her angel blond hair and be centre of attention whilst I was shouted at for kitchen being in a mess when it wasn't my duty that day. Of course angel didn't apologise and clean it, she sat back and acted ignorant of the fact.
She was even bought ensure diet shakes when I'd get scolded if I finished anything, I became fed up but my dad could see no wrong.
To this day madam always has money and mostly due to her marriages, and family turns around and says things like but you are little princess too, (just less blond) and I'm sure you didn't clean that much, either?
Now, my blood pressure is going through the roof, and I walk off with calm face. This is just after receiving failed recognition on my last IT project at the time. Of course the manager took credit, he's a male but he can't even code in c....but it's irrelevant, and making a scene just simply doesn't help. Next the IT manager is taking his new girlfriend to a special place....all this
So chatting online at my bi-polar support those years ago....I was told not to take it personally, he's just one ugly managers who has chip on shoulder and lot to prove. But it still doesn't make it right, or realise his dates affecting my ability to provide as single mom, and school fees. Did I forget to mention my step-mom paid for angel to attend Montessori School, seriously no one takes my remarks about Montessori being developed for disabled children seriously, my dad even left me to regard how wonderful her social networks are and how amazing a volunteer she was and I'm just acting like a sour kitten. What happened to that other boyfriend of yours he asked.....
Kayla: no further commenting required!!

For about 2 years I had this little mermaid obsession, where I'd wish I was like a real mermaid who acted girlie and so I collected human things like forks to comb my hair. I'd place these items on mantle piece and try with fail to understand my a-sexual. I thought it was because of neglect that I didn't feel good and would try harder.....
 
These things so hurt.
It can become obsessive, pressure is on for you to act girlie....(heavy pressure)
So some of mermaid items are watching other girls and having a bracelet that I bought that looks like the one she was wearing. It reminded me of what I saw sexually that day that I couldn't have.

So trying to dance one day and act happy....but I'm not sure I was enjoying it and dancing in tune. Just ended up getting more upset.
One issue can be beauty....and feeling good enough however I notice brunettes dancing.....I'm seeing them participating in feminine ways....
So autism can just confuse you a lot
 

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