Knowing When To "Help" and When To Leave An Aspie "Alone"

[Crossbreed]

Do you mind me asking which country and/or state you are in?
My experience with guardianships & conservatorships is US-based and varies from state-to-state. We have, at least, one retired lawyer, here, who can probably give more details on that front.

 

[Jonn]

Thank you for your response to my question. He's returned to communicating. I find myself having some of the characteristics of Asperger (Disorder?). I may need to take you up on your offer to communicate with you at times.

Misunderstanding, sorry.
The "I" was you.
I should have put it in quotes.

BTW, are you aware that the autistic spectrum has a very high percentage of sexual diversity (LGBT+)?

 

[Coxhere]

Do you mind me asking which country and/or state you are in?
My experience with guardianships & conservatorships is US-based and varies from state-to-state. We have, at least, one retired lawyer, here, who can probably give more details on that front.

My husband and I live in Quito, Ecuador, South America. My friend and his husband lives in Deception Bay, Queensland, Australia.

 

[Crossbreed]

So, my limited legal experience probably will not help you very much. It also makes determining his ASD level (1 or 2) that much more difficult.

 

[Coxhere]

Misunderstanding, sorry.
The "I" was you.
I should have put it in quotes.

BTW, are you aware that the autistic spectrum has a very high percentage of sexual diversity (LGBT+)?

I was wondering about this, Jonn. I was wondering if Gay Aspies get into more "trouble" than Gay NTs because of the lessened ability to "read" people. Over the years, I've had difficulties "reading" whether other men were Gay. We're supposed to have "Gaydar" but I'm not so sure about this.

 

[Coxhere]

So, my limited legal experience probably will not help you very much. It also makes determining his ASD level (1 or 2) that much more difficult.

Oh, one thing that he's told me is that he's worked in IT, welds, fabricates, and makes furniture. I would guess that these might be an indicator of ASD 1? I looked up "ASD 1" and found this definition: ASD Level 1, also known as "requiring support" and formerly referred to as "high-functioning autism" or Asperger's syndrome, is the mildest level of Autism Spectrum Disorder, characterized by difficulties with social interaction and communication that necessitate support. Individuals with ASD Level 1 may struggle to initiate and maintain social interactions, interpret social cues, or engage in back-and-forth conversations, and may also exhibit some inflexibility in behavior and routines. This seems to fit for him and, amazingly, for me as well!

 

[Outdated]

My friend and his husband lives in Deception Bay, Queensland, Australia.

In Australia it's highly unlikely that his funds are being managed by a Trust. It was always rare here in the first place but there's been so many stories of abuse by trustees in the last couple of decades that they are now deemed untrustworthy.

Deception Bay is a truly beautiful part of the world but South East Queensland is also our equivalent of the US Bible Belt. It's where all the nutters live and is the most homophobic region in the country.

The levels 1 2 and 3 of ASD relate to how much support is deemed necessary - at the time of assessment. I was diagnosed at age 55, they told me I'm ASD2 bordering on ASD3 but a big part of that assessment was because I wandered off into the bush and lived a semi feral lifestyle for over a decade and was homeless when I was assessed.

Other than that I was a highly successful tradesman in my younger years until I burnt out. Being registered as ASD2 and in need of "substantial support" means I got a disability pension and I'm entitled to all sorts of assistance and even assistants but all I wanted was the pension. I have no need of any form of support.

 

[DeFunkCat]

Thank you so very much for your response here. I've heard from him! He seems to be back to being "okay." (He and I are both Gay.) Thanks again, Crossbreed!

 

[Coxhere]

In Australia it's highly unlikely that his funds are being managed by a Trust. It was always rare here in the first place but there's been so many stories of abuse by trustees in the last couple of decades that they are now deemed untrustworthy.

Deception Bay is a truly beautiful part of the world but South East Queensland is also our equivalent of the US Bible Belt. It's where all the nutters live and is the most homophobic region in the country.

The levels 1 2 and 3 of ASD relate to how much support is deemed necessary - at the time of assessment. I was diagnosed at age 55, they told me I'm ASD2 bordering on ASD3 but a big part of that assessment was because I wandered off into the bush and lived a semi feral lifestyle for over a decade and was homeless when I was assessed.

Other than that I was a highly successful tradesman in my younger years until I burnt out. Being registered as ASD2 and in need of "substantial support" means I got a disability pension and I'm entitled to all sorts of assistance and even assistants but all I wanted was the pension. I have no need of any form of support.

Dear Outdated,
I thank you so much for all the information that you've shared about Australia, about Deception Bay, about Queensland, and about yourself. It is so important for me to learn as much as I can from any and all who are willing to disclose and teach me. Learning, teaching, and loving are BIG "drivers" for me.

 

[Outdated]

I thank you so much for all the information that you've shared...

You're more than welcome. Ecuador is a country I know very little about, looks like I'll be doing some more reading now.

The levels in ASD bare very little relation to "how autistic" we are but are instead are a subjective view of how well the individual is coping in society. Even neurotypical people can burn out and become less sociable. And for a lot of us the need to socialise becomes less as we age too.

Many of the people in this forum had very successful professional careers and successful social lives as well. Autism isn't a disability for many of us, it's just that our minds work in a different way and we have a different approach to what we prioritise in life.

 

[Coxhere]

You're more than welcome. Ecuador is a country I know very little about, looks like I'll be doing some more reading now.

The levels in ASD bare very little relation to "how autistic" we are but are instead are a subjective view of how well the individual is coping in society. Even neurotypical people can burn out and become less sociable. And for a lot of us the need to socialise becomes less as we age too.

Many of the people in this forum had very successful professional careers and successful social lives as well. Autism isn't a disability for many of us, it's just that our minds work in a different way and we have a different approach to what we prioritise in life.

From what I've seen on YouTubes and have read, Aspies are intelligent to well-above in intelligence. I've discovered that Aspies are better and more adroit in some ways, in careers, and in lifestyles than NTs are.

Ecuador in land area is about the size of Nevada, the 7th largest state in land area in the U.S. About 17,000,000 live here. Many think that it is a "third world country," yet we have universal health care and free university studies (compare these kinds of things with the U.S.). For such a small country, it has four geographical "zones." One is the Galápagos Islands, located about 1,000 km (600 or so miles) off the Ecuadorian coast in the Pacific. One is the Pacific coast. One (where I live in Quito) is the Andes. And the fourth is the Amazon Rain Forest. By the way, Quito's elevation is 9,350 feet. People think, because the equator runs right through Ecuador and is within a very few miles of Quito, that it's hot here. Quito is actually quite cool. Daytime temperatures rarely climb into the 80F or 26C and the nighttimes fall down into the 50s F or the 10s C. I hope this starts you on your search for this little jewel of a country!

 

[Outdated]

People think, because the equator runs right through Ecuador and is within a very few miles of Quito, that it's hot here. Quito is actually quite cool.

Many years ago I met a girl from Bogota in Colombia, the heat in Australia just about flattened her. Although in the tropics, Bogota has a very high elevation too and a hot day there is around 25 degrees.

Australia's a huge country though, it was actually bigger than the US before they bought Alaska and covers a wide range of climates. Our alpine region where we get snow covers an area larger than Switzerland.

 

[Coxhere]

Many years ago I met a girl from Bogota in Colombia, the heat in Australia just about flattened her. Although in the tropics, Bogota has a very high elevation too and a hot day there is around 25 degrees.

Australia's a huge country though, it was actually bigger than the US before they bought Alaska and covers a wide range of climates. Our alpine region where we get snow covers an area larger than Switzerland.

I watched the YouTube on skiing in Australia. Like many non-Australians, I'd read that Australia is "flat." So, it's quite a surprise to discover- - - -through you- - - -that the country has mountains and enough snow to allow the creation of ski resorts. Also, I was intrigued by the narrator's accent. Was it Aussie? I didn't think it was quite the accent what one would expect to hear in the UK. Makes me think of a long ago friend's story: A woman was hosting a party and was trying to make all of her guests comfortable and at ease. She heard a South African talking and took him over to a British woman. She told them, "You'll have much in common!"

 

[Outdated]

Also, I was intrigued by the narrator's accent. Was it Aussie?

Definitely Australian, not always easy to tell by accent alone but I'd guess he's from Melbourne. I'm from Adelaide where the accent is much more like an English Upper Class accent.

And yes, technically Australia is the flattest country on earth, but the Great Dividing Ranges stretch the full length of the east coast. Not the tallest mountains in the world but big enough to get snow. And Tasmania has a climate very similar to the UK.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

From what I've seen on YouTubes and have read, Aspies are intelligent to well-above in intelligence. I've discovered that Aspies are better and more adroit in some ways, in careers, and in lifestyles than NTs are.

Ecuador in land area is about the size of Nevada, the 7th largest state in land area in the U.S. About 17,000,000 live here. Many think that it is a "third world country," yet we have universal health care and free university studies (compare these kinds of things with the U.S.). For such a small country, it has four geographical "zones." One is the Galápagos Islands, located about 1,000 km (600 or so miles) off the Ecuadorian coast in the Pacific. One is the Pacific coast. One (where I live in Quito) is the Andes. And the fourth is the Amazon Rain Forest. By the way, Quito's elevation is 9,350 feet. People think, because the equator runs right through Ecuador and is within a very few miles of Quito, that it's hot here. Quito is actually quite cool. Daytime temperatures rarely climb into the 80F or 26C and the nighttimes fall down into the 50s F or the 10s C. I hope this starts you on your search for this little jewel of a country!

Some of use have abilities that stun the NT's. I'm pretty sure part of the mandate of this this forum is to locate us and match us with employers.

 

[Coxhere]

Some of use have abilities that stun the NT's. I'm pretty sure part of the mandate of this this forum is to locate us and match us with employers.

Evolution keeps those of us who are categorized as "minorities" around for good reasons. We are able to do things that the "majorities" cannot. So, I agree with what you've written here.

 

[Jonn]

I was wondering about this, Jonn. I was wondering if Gay Aspies get into more "trouble" than Gay NTs because of the lessened ability to "read" people.

I'm pretty sure they would.

It also goes the other way:
Due to my open and honest manner when socialising, half the women I meet think I am trying to establish a relationship, while half the men think I am trying to do so, too.

They misunderstand where I am coming from.
I just laugh, on the inside, these days.

Over the years, I've had difficulties "reading" whether other men were Gay. We're supposed to have "Gaydar" but I'm not so sure about this.

Gaydar, can develop through cognitive empathy over time, I imagine.
My ability to read people via body language and vocal tone is pretty good, these days, even though I lack Theory of Mind.
I hope I am not fooling myself. lol

 

[Coxhere]

I'm pretty sure they would.

It also goes the other way:
Due to my open and honest manner when socialising, half the women I meet think I am trying to establish a relationship, while half the men think I am trying to do so, too.

They misunderstand where I am coming from.
I just laugh, on the inside, these days.


Gaydar, can develop through cognitive empathy over time, I imagine.
My ability to read people via body language and vocal tone is pretty good, these days, even though I lack Theory of Mind.
I hope I am not fooling myself. lol

Jonn,
I don't know what "cognitive empathy" means, even though I know what the two words mean, separately. Also, I don't know, haven't heard of, nor understand what "Theory of Mind" means. Your comment about trying to establish a relationship with women makes me think of something that an NT uncle of mine once shared with me. He was hetero-married and was on a bowling team. He found a teammate, a woman, attractive and wanted to become friends with her. However, he was confused because he already had a woman-relationship with his wife. He was having difficulties separating a loving, sexual relationship with his wife but also desiring a mere non-sexual relationship with that other woman.

 

[Coxhere]

Definitely Australian, not always easy to tell by accent alone but I'd guess he's from Melbourne. I'm from Adelaide where the accent is much more like an English Upper Class accent.

And yes, technically Australia is the flattest country on earth, but the Great Dividing Ranges stretch the full length of the east coast. Not the tallest mountains in the world but big enough to get snow. And Tasmania has a climate very similar to the UK.

I wonder why the "British accent" got dropped in the U.S. and Canada? I have a long distance, cute friend who lives in the UK and he has the sexiest voice!

I looked up what the tallest mountain in Australia is and was surprised to discover that it's over 7,000 feet. That's pretty darn tall. Does Tasmania have mountains?

Also, Australia doesn't have earthquakes like NZ, does it?

 

[Outdated]

Does Tasmania have mountains?

It has some spectacular mountains, once again not overly tall, but still tall enough. Cradle Mountain is a popular tourist destination with alpine lakes in remote wilderness.

And Australia does get the occasional earthquake, but usually not severe enough to cause damage. Most of these occur in the Great Dividing Range in the sate of New South Wales.

I spent many years living in and around Darwin in the north and it's quite common to feel tremors there from earthquakes out in the deeper oceans between Australia and Indonesia. They sometimes cause minor damage to homes.