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Just need to talk to someone who understands

Ang

Ang

Member
Hello.. this may seem like an aimless thread , but lately I've been trying to keep my mind sane and avoid thinking that I have only one last option left..

I find coming on here has helped me immensely as it allows me to communicate with others who share and understand my issues, without me even having to say much.. if that makes sense.. thats all I seek in life.. someone to understand..

Don't know if I actually have autism but am pretty certain I do..

Do you all ever feel like your social skills and understanding , along with ability to maintain them, and tolerate social situations, comes in ebbs and flows?

Feel like I discover new social skills every year, then try my best to stick to them using some obsessive routine bs.. maybe this is me trying to intergrate them into habit.. however I sometimes lose them and move onto the next learned social skill.

Problem with that is my mind goes into overload and loses some skill.. then I just move onto the next one..

This includes other areas of my life also including interests.. feel like Im some kinda tactile learner so that situations and objects are what keeps me able to hold onto and remember certain life skills. The skills that I feel that I no longer want to use, the ones I see as failures, I seek to forget. Therefore I stop watching certain tv shows, reading certain books, or stop talking to certain people because they put me in a situation that automatically makes me act in a way similiar to the way from which I had sought to forget and move on..

Does that make sense? Most likely not. Does any one else understand me..

PS I know this is one weird thing to share.. If you don't want to answer out of self respect, or embarrassment I understand.
 
Ang said:
Do you all ever feel like your social skills and understanding , along with ability to maintain them, and tolerate social situations, comes in ebbs and flows?
Click to expand...
Yes, depending on my stress levels, energy levels, anxiety, and whether I'm already overloaded and stressed out from other things going on in my life. I don't lose social skills, it's more that I loose my ability to carry them out and use them. Being social is a strain because its going against the grain, it's not my natural state, I must act in a way that's not natural to me, so it needs a huge effort. If I'm tired, stressed or overloaded, then I just don't have the energy to put on this social mask and I want to withdraw into myself, return to my natural state.
 
Yes, had been this way most of my life. Things coming in spits and spurts as it were.

Some times, I seem to get social skills and then, other times it is like there were never there.

Always had a sense of people knowing something odd about me, that they do not even know about and I have no clue about.

But now, I actually don't care.
 
Suzanne said:
Yes, had been this way most of my life. Things coming in spits and spurts as it were.

Some times, I seem to get social skills and then, other times it is like there were never there.

Always had a sense of people knowing something odd about me, that they do not even know about and I have no clue about.

But now, I actually don't care.
Click to expand...
When you have them, doesn't it feel like you must hold on to them, and grip them in some way unless you forget. I'm not able to do that without driving myself totally nuts. Is there an easier way to remind yourself of these skills, even for a short while, without losing your mind?
 
Ang said:
When you have them, doesn't it feel like you must hold on to them, and grip them in some way unless you forget. I'm not able to do that without driving myself totally nuts. Is there an easier way to remind yourself of these skills, even for a short while, without losing your mind?
Click to expand...

When I did have those episodes, yes, but had no idea how and in truth, it was often a vague feeling.

It did drive me nuts, but that was because I had no idea what was happening and now, that I do, it all fits into place and I do not feel quite the freak I used to feel.
 
Ang said:
Hey ..thank you for asking.. Uneventful day but better than yesterday. Had to cut ties with someone I really can't trust as a friend and it hurt me..
Click to expand...

Uneventful days are rare gems (in my book) :)
I enjoy the silence.

It can hurt, cutting ties.
But sometimes it’s about self respect and where to draw the line.
(How much you’re willing to put up with)

I’m glad your day was better than yesterday :)
 
I WIS YOU A VERRY VERRY HAPPY DAY AND FOR THE TV SHOWS WATCH FUN SHOWS LIKE SESAME STREET CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG CALLIOU JUST TO NAME A FEW
 
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