Just curious.. are aspies generally insecure about their physical appearance?

[J. Lundberg]

I was officially diagnosed in 2016 with ASD level 1. Long before that, for just about my entire life actually, I have felt insecure about the way I looked. It's not that I am deformed or hideous in any way. In fact, it seems as if I am engaging in some sort of body dysmorphic disorder in which I am preoccupied with imagined or minor defects that others are entirely unaware of. This line of thinking however has seriously affected my level of confidence and contributes greatly to why I often find it difficult to look people in the eye during conversation. I'm just curious, are there other aspies who are insecure about their physical appearance?

 

[onlything]

My theory is that if you get told enough times (or being look at in a specific way) that there is something wrong with the way you look, or the way you look at others, or the way you behave, or move - then you start looking for reasons even if imagined ones.

 

[Tom]

Never saw anything official on it, but from casual observation would say it does occur frequently among Aspies. But whether connected to autism, the common co-morbid anxiety, or something else I couldn't say. On the other hand you can see many examples of a apparent lack of awareness of their appearance. But how they appear does not necessarily tell you what they are thinking.

 

[J. Lundberg]

"you can see many examples of a apparent lack of awareness of their appearance."

I agree. This is something to consider and may be more prevalent among those lower on the spectrum? Perhaps those higher on the spectrum are more concerned with their appearance?

 

[AGXStarseed]

For me, a genuine issue I have with my body is that I'm overweight/obese and so need to lose weight - especially as I get self-conscious in Summer when it gets hotter.

 

[Gracey]

I spend more time in my head than I do in a mirror.

*goes off to check in mirror if I should be worried or not*

 

[Progster]

I think that some are, others not, depends on the person and their personality. I've never been particularly concerned about my appearance, other than hating my boobs. I wash and keep clean, brush my hair, and that's about it.

 

[Mia]

in which I am preoccupied with imagined or minor defects that others are entirely unaware of. This line of thinking however has seriously affected my level of confidence

Are you certain that's not innate perfectionism? Know it was for me, would look at my face and only see a freckle or an extremely tiny scar and focus on that. Would not consider my entire face which was fine. One parent was a perfectionist, and it ruled their life and influenced mine for some time.

 

[J. Lundberg]

Are you certain that's not innate perfectionism?

Yeah, I definitely believe there is something to this. I have also been diagnosed with ocd. I am obsessive with so much in my life.

 

[Nauti]

I've always vacilated between not giving appearance much weight and struggling with body dysmorphia, perfectionism and body shaming, which led to eating disorder, S/H and low self esteem, especially as a young person.

Now that I am youngish middle age, I have learnt to accept and even like myself and appreciate my looks and body, and to accept that I spend a lot of time in my head, too, and that's not a bad thing, I just need to make efforts to tend to the body's needs and then everything is better and I am healthier .

 

[Isadoorian]

To be fair, having self esteem/body image issues doesn't affect just Aspies, it affects NTs too. Almost nothing is ever exclusive to Aspies.

 

[J. Lundberg]

I have learnt to accept and even like myself and appreciate my looks and body, and to accept that I spend a lot of time in my head, too, and that's not a bad thing, I just need to make efforts to tend to the body's needs and then everything is better and I am healthier .

This is precisely the mindset I hope to achieve one day...

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I suspect this is attached to anxiety, perfectionism and sometimes OCD and all of those are potentially associated with autism. I struggle with some degree of body dysmorphia and with believing I am ugly. When I see a photo of myself it's not that I don't completely recognise myself (I can pick myself out of a line-up-haha) but I am usually surprised at what I look like. I don't have fear of going out in public due to my looks, which I think can be something associated with social anxiety, but I can tell you exactly what is considered beautiful in my culture and how and where I do not match up and I can go from head to toe and itemise all of the bits that 'need' changing to meet the criteria of beauty by my culture's standards.

 

[J. Lundberg]

To be fair, having self esteem/body image issues doesn't just Aspies, it affects NTs too. Almost nothing is ever exclusive to Aspies.

Most definitely. I agree 100%. Just wondering how much insecurity regarding physical appearance affects those higher on the spectrum.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I don't think there are many western women at all who *aren't* insecure about their appearance. Female aspies might not appear to be as much, but that's mainly because for some strange reason many of us fail to see the joy or necessity of constantly smearing ointments, creams, and oils all over ourselves and encrusting our skin with makeup every day, and then washing it all off just to put more of it on.

 

[Ken S.]

Not an issue for me. I was a perfectionist about my work before I became disabled but have never cared what others thought about my appearance nor do I judge others on theirs. The only other aspies I know are through here so I really can't speak for others. I think it's more of societies pushing unreal expectations on people. This is especially true of Hollyweird. There was a time in history when heavier women were praised and preferred over skinny ones.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

many of us fail to see the joy or necessity of constantly smearing ointments, creams, and oils all over ourselves and encrusting our skin with makeup every day, and then washing it all off just to put more of it on.

I love the way you worded that. For me, insecurity about my appearance is weirdly tied to an idea that if I am ugly I will stand out and be noticeable and I don't want to be, but the things I think are wrong with my appearance are not fixable with makeup and creams. I'd need a magic wand.

 

[Major Tom]

Yes, but I blame my wife for always calling me fat and ugly. Before getting married I had a decent a self-image.

 

[tducey]

I've rarely liked how I've looked on a picture but really don't mind the way I look.

 

[Autistamatic]

"Are Autistics generally insecure about their appearance?"

One word answer "No"

Two word answer "Some are"

There are those of us who are prone to obsession, not just those with OCD, and that obsession can be over our appearance. For many that will be borne of the belief that looking a certain way will ease of social difficulties, but most of us find eventually that it makes little difference. That happened to me in my late 20s and I've not looked back since. I've better things to do than coiffing my hair or worrying about what to wear. If it's appropriate for the occasion, that's enough. Hair cut so short I need not fuss, shoes comfortable, clothes practical. My one concession is my preference for T-shirts featuring things I like - SciFi shows/movies, favourite music and others.

Dysmorphia? There is little to support the idea of dysmorphia being significant amongst Autistics, however there is a notably higher proportion of transgender Autistics than in the allistic population. Whilst not dysmorphia in itself it can have a profound effect on how we perceive ourselves and our appearance

Unkempt or dirty Autistics? Either executive function problems, not caring about appearance or a combination of both. Henry Cavendish - a great scientific pioneer and one of the most notable, positively identified Autistics in history, famously wore the same outfit his entire adult life, replacing it with an identical one when it wore out. The only variation was that his coat was sometimes green, sometimes violet.

Our tendency towards anxiety can certainly manifest itself in matters sartorial, particularly when we are insecure, but that often fades with age as it becomes apparent that no matter how much we work on our appearance we still get the same reactions from people.

As with many things we look at through autistic eyes, we see patterns, or we seek to identify aspects of ourselves as autistic rather than our own peculiarities. In this case there appears to be as much variation within us as in allistics.