Job search problems and etiquette

[AprilR]

Recently i have had an interview at two places, A and B. So office A seems like an easier place to work at, but the owner of office B is a friend of my cousin's and she seems like a very nice person as well.

Both interviews went well, but i told office B that i need some time to think because i had other interviews. After i said that, a few days have passed and i ended up calling place B that i am ready to work with them. The owner of place B told me she arranged a few other interviews and to talk again later.

2 days after, i got a call from place A for another interview. I really have no idea what to do now, at all. I am so anxious to make a social mishap, and i am not sure about the etiquette on what to do. I think working at place A will be better for me but i have already told place B i am ready to work? I am so confused.

 

[TBRS1]

This is my take:

B told you they are interviewing others after you agreed to work for them.

You had a second interview with A after being told you may or may not get the job from B (because they are interviewing others).

I feel that, because B did not make a reciprocal commitment, you are not required to be "on hold" until they decide whether they are actually going to give you the job.

If A offers you the job, you are ethically free to take it, if you wish.

(on a side note - I am cautious about working for friends of friends. On the other hand, networking and using connections is fine. My personal preference is to not work where there is a personal connection with my employer. This is a completely personal thing though, and may not be relevant in your case)

 

[AprilR]

Reading this helped me calm down a little, so thanks. For all i know, she (B) might also turn me down so..

I also agree with you about being wary of working with a friend/relative. It puts a pressure on me.

 

[Judge]

Just my opinion, but considering prospective employers I'd favor "A" over "B" on a simple premise.

Opportunity "A" preserves your relative anonymity compared to "B". Going to work where a business owner personally knows one of your relatives could prove to be either very good- or very bad.

Weighting this equation almost entirely on one concern- your autism and your right to keep it to yourself.

You've been out of work for a bit. Might be a good idea to get back in, and just give opportunity "A" a try. Apart from how shaky the global economy is at the moment which might dramatically change your prospects.

 

[Uri]

I will probably never be able to get a job because of criminal record and I also got in trouble with police.

I will probably become broke and homeless and then die which in my opinion is not such a bad thing right now.

I already attempted suicide once and will probably try again if my situation becomes truly hopeless.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry @Uri

You might go for therapy, find a non-profit service that charges little. For jobs, goggle places that help those with criminal record. There are some employers willing to give you chance. If you are truthful on your applications, then some employers still might give you a chance. Please call 911 or go to your emergency room at hospital if you feel you will hurt yourself.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

April - what great opportunities. From what you’ve presented, I agree with others that A is your best choice.

For the future, you are not obligated to tell a possible employer that you have applied to other jobs. (Unless you’re a real hot shot and want to get into a bidding war. I’m assuming this is not the case.)

All you have to say is you need some more time to think about it.

 

[Masked Man]

April - what great opportunities. From what you’ve presented, I agree with others that A is your best choice.

For the future, you are not obligated to tell a possible employer that you have applied to other jobs. (Unless you’re a real hot shot and want to get into a bidding war. I’m assuming this is not the case.)

All you have to say is you need some more time to think about it.

Agreed and additionally, you are under no obligation to an employer. You have every right to tell place B you are continuing to negotiate with other recruiters before you are able to make a decision.

An employer is basically purchasing you for your time. So you need to be able to make the best decision you can for yourself.

 

[AprilR]

I will probably never be able to get a job because of criminal record and I also got in trouble with police.

I will probably become broke and homeless and then die which in my opinion is not such a bad thing right now.

I already attempted suicide once and will probably try again if my situation becomes truly hopeless.

Please don't think that way. There is bound to be something you can do, there should be job programs or such for people with criminal records. Not hiring someone due to a criminal record is a form of discrimination also.

I considered suicide numerous times too, but my life changed very vastly when i started going to therapy and trying to change my life. I hope good things will come to you too and that you meet good and supportive people in your life.

 

[AprilR]

Thanks everyone. I ended up accepting the job offer from place A. I called the place B immediately after and the employer was very understanding and nice when i told her why i have to refuse.

I almost kind of feel bad for it, because she seemed like a very nice and down to earth person too..

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Been in that position two offer's on same day had been unemployed for two years took offer that paid less as it was directly related to my previous experience, plus new substrate plastic. So in long term worked out strategically.

 

[paloftoon]

I would prefer office A in your situation- especially if it's a better situation. In office B, if things don't work out, not only is the work relationship awkward, but some of your personal relationships can get awkward too. If office A no longer becomes your option and Option B is your only option, then of course do Option B. go with the option that gives you the overall better pay and benefits if you can't decide. If they are a tie, ask both of them to give you more maybe (this can be risky).