I've been rejected by most of my peers at my Church... [VENT]

[VernalSole1355]

UPDATE AS OF 9/1/21 - FINAL UPDATE

After talking it over with God, my parents, and myself, I have decided to make the decision to leave my church entirely. Wait, didn't you JUST get an exemption to be in the Young Adults ministry?! Yes, I did, but let me explain to you why I've made my decision as best I can.

Long Hollow (my now former church)'s mission has been "to bring all people into a knowing, loving relationship with Christ" (note that isn't verbatim). They are supposed to provide me with community, supposed to provide me with fellowship. Well, this happened at the beginning when I showed up in '16. They accommodated for me because of my Autism. They modified my baptism for me (fear of water, crowds, heights. Yeeaaaaah.) so I could have it done.

Well, ever since COVID hit, Long Hollow has, in plain terms, grown too big for their own shoes. The leaders I once had a connection with moved on to different positions. My former High School Pastor became Global Student Pastor (connection instantly lost), all my friends moved on, etc... and then we throw in what happened with me most recently when I switched campuses...

When I have brought these issues to the attention of the staff, via a Word Document sent to them via email, text messaging, phone calls, even verbal conversations, I never, NEVER get a response other than the simple "oh we're sorry we'll try to make it better blah blah blah", and it's rare I get that.

I feel like I am being lied to. I feel like I am being discriminated against because of my Autism, and my circumstances of having to retake a year of High School, amongst other things. I feel like all the church cares about now is numbers and money, and anyone who questions that can, well, screw off.

The fact that I HAD to get an exemption in the first place is ridiculous. High School ministry is from 6th Grade to 12th Grade. Young Adult Ministry is from ages 18-29. My Young Adult Pastor EVEN SAID, TO ALL OF US SENIORS WHO WERE IN A GROUP TOGETHER, THAT WE ARE WELCOME TO COME TO YOUNG ADULTS AND THEN THEY PULL THAT CRAP. NO, THAT RULE THAT I CANT GO UNTIL I GRADUATE WAS NOT PUT IN PLACE IN BETWEEN CAMP AND NOW, IT WAS BEFORE AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING, EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW I HAD NOT GRADUATED.

If you can't tell, I am VERY upset right now. I may even pursue a legal case against them if I find out more information about this.

However, I do want to close this thread on a positive note. My experience at Long Hollow has taught me something. Nothing is EVER what it seems to be. Don't just follow the crowd because it's the "culture". There's a time to be selfish and a time to be compassionate to those in need. I've finally learned to have a backbone for myself and say "No, I ain't putting up with this." And there are those at Long Hollow who I hold no blame against for these indiscretions. There are those that supported me, comforted me, and I will be sure to take them into account if I pursue any legal action against Long Hollow.


So thank you guys for being there to support me through this. I'm going to begin my search for a new spiritual home.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Well good luck with your journey towards finding a spiritual home. I'm very different from you and about twice your age. Plus different religion too.

I go to churches for great reasons I think. I am more of a spiritual tourist than a dedicated seeker. I like a good music program, a really uplifting sermon, and decent snacks. I always make a donation when I go, that's important to me. I try and support artists too. I mostly give that stuff away.

The place I go, decided to stop in person meetings, cursed pandemic. They do online broadcasts but I usually dont bother, I keep in touch with a few people over the net. It's all good. I have a bunch of sermons and music and stuff recorded.

I dont want those ppl to get close to me really. Thats maturity there. There are ppl I speak with at events, we are kind to eachother, courteous, respectful, all that. Sometimes we would do stuff after services.

Anyways it sounds like you are being really wierd in general, it's normal for aspies your age. I think you should apologize to the people you used to go to church with. Because your behavior sounds rude and unforgiving and judgmental.

See you probably either a) ticked people off or b) frightened people. That's what we do. Aspies are great at making normies feel uncomfortable. Friends are hard to come by. Maybe consider reaching out, and telling the truth, and asking for forgivness.

That's what grace is I think. Not really solid on that. My path is pretty different than Southern Baptist. Anyways the more you do a thing the easier it gets. So here is how it actually works.

You start going somewhere because you feel like it. They change everything around to accommodate you. You find a problem or make a problem that makes it impossible for them to serve you. You get all wierd and reactive and twitchy and running off offended, saying never never.

It gets to be a habit being like that. But your behavior, as you describe is unreasonable and likely provocative. Some people mature slower than others do. Some of us never mature properly at all. Real life can get very lonely.

There are people who have different relationships than you expect to have and the acquaintance type of relationships are not very important to them. Some people likely know several hundred people by name, remember stuff about all of them and do different stuff with different people.

You are still thinking of patterns of friends. First circle, second circle, and so on. People in general really dont do that. A humble apology is a gesture of grace, and dignity. It shows respect for others,

forgiveness is a measure of maturity and decency.

 

[Judge]

So thank you guys for being there to support me through this. I'm going to begin my search for a new spiritual home.

You can start by looking into any mirror.

-Become your own church. We can all be "Peter".

 

[VernalSole1355]

You can start by looking into any mirror.

-Become your own church.

While I like the idea, that's impossible for me to do due to my belief that anything man-made is ultimately flawed. I can't become my version of a Christian, I have to become the Christian that is laid out in the Bible. It's up to every individual to interpret that to what God wants them to do with their life. Appreciate the thought, though!

 

[Judge]

While I like the idea, that's impossible for me to do due to my belief that anything man-made is ultimately flawed.

IMO everything on this secondary plane of existence is flawed- by design. We're here to be enlightened as flawed, mortal human beings. To reincarnate as often as we choose, though with some degree of guidance.

Then to return to our primary existence where everyone and everything is essentially "perfect". Blissful to say the least, but not an environment where we can both humble- and better our eternal souls.

Precisely why on this plane of existence, that bad things can happen to good people. -By design.

And to maintain such beliefs requires neither a physical church, or the fellowship of other flawed humans and whatever dogma some may claim.

 

[VernalSole1355]

Everything on this secondary plane of existence is flawed- by design. We're here to be enlightened as flawed, mortal human beings.

Then to return to our primary existence where everyone and everything is essentially "perfect". Blissful to say the least, but not an environment where we can both humble- and better our eternal souls.

Fair enough.