It is impossible for me to make friends

[Aaa111]

Are there any autism support groups in your area that are specifically for women? I’d start there. You’ll be able to interact with people who deal with the same difficulties you do.

There are barely any support groups for autistic people of all genders. If there are, most people there are 30+ so we can't be friends

 

[tree]

...most people there are 30+ so we can't be friends

How come?

 

[Kaz2012]

I struggle too. And when I do manage to make a friend I am super conscious of not 'inflicting' myself upon them so tend not to initiate any meetings because I am not sure if they really like me or not. I have made (since school) one real friend that I know likes me and I can be myself with and I am not afraid of initiating meetings with. Most of the other people I was 'friends' or friendly with were my ex's friends, and I am not really in touch with them now. Luckily I manage fine on my own and enjoy my own company. Does not mean I never get lonely - I feel I have been lonely all my life and have just gotten used to it and can focus on my interests and hobbies. Also I have 2 cats - great company.

 

[Aaa111]

How come?

I am scared we won't have things in common and that they will have other things to do

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Also, to the OP don't rule out acquaintances. I had zero friends or even acquaintances in college. No one talked to me except a few of the teachers. That's why I dropped out after only two years.

Remember don't try to look for specific perfect friends otherwise you will end up alone.

 

[Kalinychta]

There are barely any support groups for autistic people of all genders. If there are, most people there are 30+ so we can't be friends

Can you organize a group of your own for autistic women? On campus or off. It would be a good start.

 

[MROSS]

Also, to the OP don't rule out acquaintances. I had zero friends or even acquaintances in college. No one talked to me except a few of the teachers. That's why I dropped out after only two years.

Remember don't try to look for specific perfect friends otherwise you will end up alone.

I had the opportunity to attend a "non traditional" middle school - I felt that I could relate to those awesome teachers.

 

[MROSS]

We can't let our own doubts about friendships become a self-fulfilling (or self-defeatist) prophecy.

 

[Xinyta]

There are barely any support groups for autistic people of all genders. If there are, most people there are 30+ so we can't be friends

I am scared we won't have things in common and that they will have other things to do

This is a fatal mistake.

Do not discount people on the basis of age. Age, especially on the topic of ASD or like conditions, doesn't play factor. You'll find many younger and older than you that struggle all the same. If anything, the experience from others who know the struggle will be the best way to help deal with your own struggles.

The fear of not knowing what people will be like or if they don't share interests is not a unusual fear, but is quickly proven untrue if you give people a chance. Age doesn't determine anything in how people look at interests. Tastes can change. This is true. But long time hobbies and interests will remain so well into older ages.

Though in truth, it'll be up to you in the end if you want to take the leap and try. No one can make you do anything.

 

[Xinyta]

To add to my previous post.

Firstly, I'd like to also state that no matter what you think. You are NOT 'age locked' to your age group. You'll be surprised how much you'll teach people older than you, as much as they may teach you in return from thier experiences. No one person, with the life they are living, will dismiss or discount you because you are younger. Most people in the world are nice and want to help if they can.

Secondly. Do not think because you left school, that your time learning has ceased. Your time learning is only truly begun. Life is as much a teacher, if not more so, compared to teachers in school. So don't discount the experiences you'll definitely have as you find your place in the world. Positive and negative experiences (including mistakes) both hold tools for learning. You just have to be willing to take those lessons to heart.

 

[AprilR]

Maybe not having any friends is not horrible. Some people despite being very nice and kind, dont have any friends.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Maybe not having any friends is not horrible. Some people despite being very nice and kind, dont have any friends.

It sure is lonely. I tried and it is horrible.

 

[AprilR]

It sure is lonely. I tried and it is horrible.

Idk, trying over and over and failing every time makes me think i am not meant to have any friends or relationships. At some point your energy runs out.

 

[ZebraAspie]

Making friends is tough. I’ve found the more time I’ve spent in neurodivergent safe spaces the more friends I’ve made. Do you have any neurodivergent groups you could go to?

 

[The Pandector]

Idk, trying over and over and failing every time makes me think i am not meant to have any friends or relationships. At some point your energy runs out.

Much agreed, @AprilR . The pain of recent rejections keeps me to myself. Some relationships just happen and I don't worry about rejection, but I never go out looking for friends. I'm more likely to go snake hunting, because snake behavior is more predictable.

 

[Fino]

I'm going to give the same advice I always give and say to attend a church, whether you believe in God or anything or not. In my experience, that's the best place to find genuine, kind people. I know the media portrays the religious as judgmental and rude, but that is a minority in my experience.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I'm going to give the same advice I always give and say to attend a church, whether you believe in God or anything or not. In my experience, that's the best place to find genuine, kind people. I know the media portrays the religious as judgmental and rude, but that is a minority in my experience.

I agree. Just don't be picky about who you choose. Accept whoever wants to be your friend.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I also believe if I was in college now, I would have made friends and acquaintances because of all the technology we have now. The only reason why people were able to reach out to me was because I posted on their social media or messaged them through their groups. Then they reached out and connected. That is how yesterday's park event was such a success.

Latest park social.

At first I was not going to go after how I felt at the last one. So at the gym earlier in the week when they were promoting it I posted in the comments how I felt like I was ignored at the last one. I even approached people and was ignored. The next morning leaving for yoga class the leader...

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