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Is this an autism trait

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Gift2humanity, Sep 24, 2020.

  1. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    I finally got a link from the autism assessment centre so I can enter the Attend Anywhere waiting room. It came in my junk mail, luckily I had the sense to check junk as sometimes I have been known to empty folder with out checking and could have lost it.

    Anyway, I managed to enter the waiting room, and saw my face on the screen.
    This made me feel really uneasy.
    Is this unease at looking at your own face an autistic trait, I know eye contact is hard for me but so is looking at my own face.
     
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  2. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    I hear a lot of NTs say they find looking at themselves on webcam and in mirrors weird, and that they do not like it. I think it's just a general thing that's not autism related.
     
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  3. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, do you know if autistic people are comfy looking at themselves in mirrors. I do not think I am NT
    Also, will I be able to see the assessor when I am in the video meeting, I might have some trouble looking at them.
     
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  4. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    I think both NT people and autistic people can be uncomfortable with that. I'm autistic and uncomfortable with it, which is why I said I think it may just be a general trait.

    Also, I have not used Attend Anywhere so I am not sure of whether you'll be able to see the assessor or not. Though I assume that if it allows you to use webcam that the assessor will use it and may ask you to also.
     
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  5. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I tested it out today and my Mac asks if I will permit webcam. I normally don't permit webcam my security software blocks it.
     
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  6. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    It may have to do with whether one is comfortable with what one sees. Most people who see themselves on camera - or even in the mirror - will start picking at all the flaws and imperfections they perceive. Usually, it is stuff that if they see it on another person they don't think twice. Very few people are truly comfortable in their own skin. We are our own harshest critics while we tend to focus on the favorable aspects of others.

    It doesn't help that the lighting for a simple camera setup is designed to make you look ghoulish. It is why drivers' licenses usually come out so bad.
     
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  7. Soleil

    Soleil Well-Known Member

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    I don't know about this. I don't like seeing my face, but that's because I'm trans and don't look quite as good as I'd like.

    My NT friend doesn't have this issue though.

    How do you feel about seeing your face in the mirror?
     
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  8. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    I'd have thought that the deep courage to acknowledge the fact that you felt born into the wrong gender, and to do something about it, e.g. transition, would be a splendid thing, regardless of how you look.
    I've met many non-trans people who are unattractive, yet self-confident inside and very happy.
    I've also met many good looking people who are deeply unhappy inside.
    I hope this post doesn't come across as patronising, I can't articulate myself well, even on forums as the time it takes me to think of the right words can kill a thread.
    I derailed my own thread.
    I'm not un-confident with my looks, I used to be pretty but stress and depression and the resulting physical neglect and failure to take care of myself have aged me.
    I used to like the mirror a lot as a child, but I remember crying a lot and my mum forcing me to look in the mirror might have put me off. I say might have as I don't want to blame her if that is not what put me off.
     
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  9. Soleil

    Soleil Well-Known Member

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    Between therapy and moving forward with transitioning and looking closer to how I always saw myself, I do feel a lot better about seeing myself than I used to. I'm even having a lot more video chats with my friends, and seeing my face in the corner doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

    No, not at all :)

    Sometimes I like mirrors, but I'm also a little afraid of them, afraid of seeing something strange it that other world. But seeing my face is a lot like seeing my face on a video chat; it used to be a big problem, but not so much now.
    Though I'm curious as to why they would force you to look in the mirror?
     
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  10. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    I get that, as you are now more comfortable in your body I guess. It's good you are having a lot more video chats.

    Thank you

    Glad that seeing your face on a video chat is not such a problem now.
    My mum probably thought that seeing myself with a tear stained face would stop me crying, for example in the same sense a little kid might whine and the mum might say "Listen to yourself whining" to show the kid that whining is not grown up.
    I don't agree with this type of parenting but I Was raised decades ago and parenting was a lot more adult orientated.
     
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  11. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think lots of people are uncomfortable with themselves, regarding appearance... Studies show that women in particular struggle with that because of messages from all the media around them, that seems to only show all the best looking women... Men can struggle with this too

    And sometimes there is good inspiration from that process, I try not to judge other people, but one friend of mine who was quite overweight, I never said anything to him, I don't know him that well, but he knew... We got together again recently and he had lost lots of weight, he said through eating better and taking care of himself better... He likely looked in the mirror everyday knowing what he saw, and made some changes...
     
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  12. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am using zoom for my faith and have a picture of something that I like, as my profile pic, because it is too much to go on video. Can't stand seeing myself.

    When I have no choice but do video, I do one to one, because even one more person, causes misery to me.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2020
  13. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member

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    Hugs
     
  14. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    I've never objected to how I look. Nor have I ever felt bad about how I looked in a mirror or on camera. When I was younger I was even a bit vain. It got me into being an art model and performing on the stage.

    My voice irritates me when I hear it in a recording. It sounds tinny and nasal. Of course, nobody's voice sounds to others like it sounds to oneself. Much of what you hear is bone conduction that nobody else hears. But it is my voice and it does its job perfectly well. Except for getting too loud in some settings (that's an Aspie thing) I've heard no complaints.

    I'm not so young anymore. I've got wrinkles and my hair is going white and my waist is expanding and my arms are getting skinny. but that doesn't bother me. Time wears down all of us and none of us can turn it back. I don't go picking on other people's faces and figures or obsessing about their flaws or thinking them ugly. I have to assume they do the same courtesy for me. And I insist on treating myself as kindly as I treat other people.
     
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